"Alex? Are you okay?"
Rita's gentle touch and voice drew me out of my thoughts and I turned to face her and Nico. They both had worried expressions on their faces.
We were sitting on the manicured grass of one of the campus gardens. It was 5pm and we had nothing better to do and decided to hang around talking about everything and nothing.
I was certain that I had been actively taking part in the conversation but apparently, I had zoned out. It was hard to focus on a lot of things these days.
My emotions were running haywire since the conversation that I had with Tristan a few days ago. I was sad and angry and struggling to not let their decisions define my self worth.
"Yeah, I'm okay" I lied.
"Hey, man, are you sure?" Nico asked, "You've been a little out of it for a minute now"
"And by a minute, he means a couple of days now" Rita added.
"Yeah" Nico said.
"Guys," I chuckled, "I'm fine, I swear"
I tried my best to sound as convincing as possible but they didn't seem too convinced.
They shared a look that said 'this boy is lying'
"Guys, I swear that I'm okay" I insisted.
"We're not doubting you, baby," Rita said and added, "It's just that you seem kind of sad and distracted lately. I know that you really did love Julius but this breakup is eating away at you"
"Will it make you feel any better if I broke his nose for you?" Nico asked and I laughed.
"And have you suspended? No, thank you" I replied.
"You just don't seem okay, dude. You don't laugh as much as you used to and I know it's bad cause I can't remember the last time that you were on my ass to study" Nico said.
I sighed. I had no idea that my state of mind that been so down bad that it had become so obvious.
Yes, I was sad but at this rate it sounded like I was on walking down the path of depression.
"This has nothing to do with Julius" I said.
"Then what's going on?" Rita asked.
"I have to keep my grades up and midterms are coming up. I have to maintain a good enough CGPA or they'll have me drop out" I said.
It was not entirely a lie but I had to give them something other than my messy breakup to worry about.
"I thought that you had a good enough CGPA?" Nico asked and added, "At least, way better than mine"
"It doesn't mean that I don't get a little nervous sometimes. I have a lot to lose you know" I replied.
They shared another look. I don't know if they fully believed what I said but at least it sounded a lot more convincing than saying that nothing was bothering me.
"Well, I've known you for almost four years and I have never seen you once this zoned out over an exam" Rita stated.
I shrugged.
"What can I say, things change sometimes and we are so close to graduation so this is a delicate time"
Rita lay her head on his lap and smiled at me.
"Can you believe it? We're really gonna be out of here soon" She said.
I sighed. This place held so many memories for me and I was going to miss a bunch of them.
"I can name a couple of things that I'm going to miss" Nico said.
"I'm definietly not going to miss that one" Rita said and pointed at something.
When I raised my head to look I saw that it was Tristan getting in his car. My heart skipped a beat and I looked away. He was the last person that I wanted to see at the moment.
"Professor Tristan?" I asked.
"Ugh, I can't even look in his direction" She rolled her eyes but kept glaring at him until he had driven off.
"Is he really that bad?" I asked.
"That moron was married to my sister once"
"Yeah, you already covered that part"
"Yeah, well, he cheated on her"
I shared a brief look with Nico. Rita loved her sister and I could understan why she hated Tristan. I did not expect to hear that he was an unfaithful spouse either.
Guess that makes him the second unfaithful man that had come into my life. I really did suck at choosing the right men.
"I'm really sorry that happened, Riri" I said.
She shrugged and sighed.
"It's alright. I mean, it's all in the past now anyway"
The conversation changed routes after that and I did my best to be more present this time so they wouldn't have to quiz me about what was going through my mind.
We stayed out there on the fields until the sun set and it was time for us to return back to our dorms. Nico had offered to drive Rita back after I had insisted on walking.
I needed to find a way to center my emotions but I told them that I just needed some alone time and a walk just because I haven't had one of those in a while.
"Are you sure that you don't wanna ride with us?"
Rita asked as she shut the passenger door and put on her seatbelt.
I shook my head.
"Nah. I really feel like taking a walk tonight" I replied.
"You be careful alright" Nico said.
I nodded.
"Drive safe"
"Yeah. See you back at the dorm Al" He said and started the engine.
I waved them both goodbye as they drove off.
When they were out of sight, I let out a deep breath that I had been holding in for some time.
My mind was all over the place and I really needed the peace and quiet. I didn't understand why I had to deal with all the bullshit from my emotions.
Why did I give a fuck if Julius was flaunting his new girlfriend on social media? Why did my heart do a double take when I see Tristan? What the hell was going on with me?
The more that I thought about the entire situation, the more infuriated that I became. This was so unfair.
If I had my way, I would rip my heart out and toss in the crocodile section of the national zoo and watch them rip it to shreds.
I was angry. I was so angry that I could cry and as if that was not bad enough some moron decided to bump into me.
If I wasn't quick to regain my balance I would have ended up on the ground.
"Watch where the fuck you're going!" I snapped.
Usually, I would have apologized and kept moving but I was upset.
"I didn't see you there, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"
It was then that I noticed who had bumped into me. It was Collin Rivers, the co captain of the Heldon wrestling team. I had heard the rumors of his good looks but now that I was face to face with him, the talk did him no justice.
Here he was smiling at me despite my annoyance but it didn't matter. I have come to learn that hansome men are nothing but bad news.
"Leave me alone" I stepped away from him.
"Hey, I didn't see you for real."
"Maybe watch where you're going next time!"
He chuckled and shook his head. It annoyed me that he didn't seem pissed off by my attitude. It felt like he was mocking me.
"Are you always this adorable when you're mad?"
"Are you high?"
He shrugged.
"why? you interested?"
"You're a freaking weirdo"
"I would have preferred a different nickname but I guess I'll take what I get"
"What the..."
"What's your name?"
I stared at him in confusion and finally shook my head. He was disarming me and I needed to get the hell away before I became relaxed.
"Boy, bye"
I turned and began to walk away while he shouted after me.
"SEE YOU AROUND, STRANGER!"
