Ben and I had talked about doing an actual ceremony, for him it was an important thing. Tradition. He assured me ours would be completely different from anything he’d done before, that the vows he made with other women were somewhat superficial. More of a just a promise they could join his family and that he was willing to have a child with them. More like a guarantee he’d get to sleep with them on demand. I still struggled with that sometimes.
How do I just walk around knowing that all these women had shared something so special and intimate with MY mate? It wasn’t like they were one night stands. I knew it would get better, the more distance I could put between them and him, but it still tugged at my self esteem.
It was even harder trying to help care for Dorothy and Calista’s children, especially since even now they still asked for their moms. Sometimes they cried out for them at night. A few times we both slept in their rooms with them. Dorothy was banished for five years, then
