Novel-novel oleh Oghenemine Etu

POV: HaleyKai's mouth is on my neck, sucking at the spot just below my ear, and I arch into the mattress because here, there are no consequences. His hands are in my hair, pulling just hard enough to hurt, and the pain is perfect. I am not sick in this dream, my heart pounds from want. Not failure. I am twenty-two and alive and greedy for every second of it."Tell me," his voice, hot against my skin."Tell you what?""That you want this.""I want this."He bites my collarbone, and a current runs straight through me. His weight presses me deeper into the bed, and I cannot see the room anymore. There is only his mouth and his hands and the heat of him everywhere.Then Nathan appears at the edge of the bed. He is not angry. He is just watching. His eyes are steady and terrible.I push against Kai's chest. "Wait."Kai laughs, rough and dark, then pulls me in again. "Too late.""You chose this," he says. "You chose me."---I wake up gasping.The sheets are twisted around my legs, and my

POV: Haley"Miss Winters. Are you still there?"I'm on my couch, still in yesterday's clothes from Nathan's place, staring at a water stain I've been meaning to report to my landlord for weeks."We need you to come in for more tests.""I heard you.""Your levels are—""My levels are always something.""These are different."I sit up too fast and the room tilts. "Different how?""Your heart took too long between beats last night. We caught it on the monitor. If you'd been asleep—""I wasn't.""Haley.""I was awake. I'm telling you I was awake all through the night.""That's not the point.""Then go straight to the point."She clears her throat. "Your body is changing faster than your medication can keep up with.I walk to my window and lean on the sill, watching a woman lace her daughter's shoes below."Come in tomorrow. We'll run new tests and adjust the dosage.""I'll think about it.""Thinking isn't going to—"I hang up.---I put music on because the quiet was getting a shape to it

POV: Haley"You've been looking at that building entrance for three minutes," Avriel says. "It's a door, Haley."I force my eyes away. "I'm people watching.""You're watching for one person."She bumps my shoulder, quick and easy. She's been doing that since sophomore year, when she and Nathan were lab partners and I was just the girlfriend who showed up to study sessions with takeout."I don't know what you're talking about."She kicks a small pebble off the path. "Nathan told me about dinner.""Of course he did.""He said Kai asked about you after you left."My hands tighten on my bag strap and I try to keep my voice even. "Asked what?""Wouldn't say." She shrugs, but her eyes are curious. "Just that you seemed different than he expected. Whatever that means."Nathan jogs over from the parking lot before we make it to the science building entrance. He's wearing a new jacket, slightly too big in the shoulders, the kind he probably bought because someone told him it looked good and he

POV: HaleyBy morning I've cleaned the kitchen twice, done two loads of laundry, and reorganized my desk down to the pens.I keep my hands busy so my head doesn't go where it keeps trying to go.It doesn't help.---By evening I'm standing in front of my mirror in a half-zipped dress, arm twisted behind my back at a wrong angle, and the zipper won't move.I've been standing here five minutes.Not because the dress is small. My fingers won't stop moving, the same way they were last night, and I can't get a proper grip on anything. I let go, breathe, and wait for the pill I took twenty minutes ago to do something. Maybe it has. Maybe this is just me now.The doorbell rings.I look at myself in the mirror. Hair half dry. Lipstick only on the bottom lip. Dress unzipped.Great.I open the door.Nathan steps in and kisses my cheek, then pulls back. "You're not ready.""I'm almost ready.""You said that twenty minutes ago when you texted me."He walks past me into the living room and sits on

POV: Haley"I'm not doing this right now."Nathan shuts the apartment door behind him a little harder than usual. "You never want to do it, Haley. That's the problem."I stand near the window, staring at the traffic below as headlights cut through the rain."Nathan.""What?" He pulls his coat off but doesn't bother hanging it up. "When's the last time you actually talked to me instead of shutting down?""I talk to you.""No, you tell me you're fine until you're angry enough to explode."I let out a breath and turn away from the window. "You want honesty? Fine. I'm exhausted."His expression softens for half a second. "Haley—""No. Let me finish." My voice comes out sharper than I mean it to. "I'm tired of every conversation becoming about my health. I'm tired of being watched all the time. Every time I cough, you look at me like something terrible is about to happen."His jaw tightens. "That's not fair.""Neither is being managed."That lands exactly the way I knew it would.Nathan lo