100 Lives of Zero Love

The flower shop was located by the old bus depot, with a sign reading, “Willow & Branch.” I arrived to find Willow bent over, shifting a heavy water container onto a cart. Without looking up, Willow nudged the tip of her shoe against the wheel to keep it steady. “Excuse me. You might want to stand back a bit, so you don’t get wet.”I took hold of the container from the other side and hoisted it off the ground, and only then did Willow get a good look at my face.“Here for the job?” I nodded. “Just so you know, you get paid for today even if it’s just a trial run.” She pointed at the cardboard box in the corner. “Keep the glass bottles away from the clippers so they don’t break. We are having sandwiches for lunch. Do you have any dietary restrictions?” Because I took too long to answer, Willow repeated her question. “No.” In my 100th lifetime, Willow asked the same question. That day, I was there with Peyton to pick out her gown, but she left me stranded outside

On the 16th, I stopped by the flower shop. The moving truck was mostly loaded. Standing in the truck bed, Willow handed me the last crate of glassware. I stowed my luggage on board and let her know I had stuff at home to deal with.“It might take a few days, so don’t hold dinner for me.”She asked me for a timeline. “I’ll get in touch in three days.” “I’ll hold you to that.” Back in the mountain lodge, Damian was showing Peyton how to find the right angle on her phone camera. He wanted to get a lovely video of the family eating by the fireplace. I strongly requested to get my stuff back, or I wouldn’t be in the shot. Fed up, Harlan had the storage closet unlocked. Rufus’ tape player, bundled up in a blue apron, sat there untouched for three years. I brushed my hand over the lid before handing the toolbox to Ben. I asked him to mail it for me. “Are you not carrying it with you?” “The rain is getting heavy. I don’t want the items to get soaked.”At 4:40 PM, I

I slipped the phone back to Willow and nodded. “The Killingtons watched the mudslide take me. They think I’m dead.” “Do they know you’re sitting right here?” “No.” Willow didn’t jump into getting answers. She cleared the plates from the table before pulling the chair across from me. “I’m listening whenever you’re ready to tell me.” I told her that I had survived the same river once before, so I knew the hidden trail out. This time, I had the opportunity to jump into their getaway car but chose to disappear right before their eyes. I turned that mudslide into a farewell service without a body to claim. Silence hung heavily in the air. I asked if she thought I was cruel. “I’m still upset.” I hung my head low at her response. “You said you’d call in three days, so I counted down the days. “I figured you had an argument with your family or missed your ride back, but I never imagined you were trapped down in the mud. “You have your business to settle, but I d

I agreed to meet with the Killingtons once, and the location was set at the Elmwood station waiting area. Not once did I consider setting the flower shop or my residence as the meeting place. Oakleigh turned her phone off and set it down on the table. When I walked in, Harlan pushed himself up from his chair and stood frozen for a while. Stepping around the table, Peyton reached out to touch my face. I took a step back, leaving her arm suspended midair. “You’ve lost weight.” In fact, I did not. The injury on my leg was healing nicely, and my face had a healthier shade than it had back when I was with the Killingtons. However, I didn’t see the point of correcting her. “I need to be back by four.” Harlan nodded right away. “We won’t take up your time. Sit. Please, sit.” Harlan slid a drink across the table, but Peyton pulled it away, fussing that it was too hot. As I watched them pass the drink back and forth, my mind wandered back to my 37th lifetime.In tha

I went on and on, talking about when I first went back to the Killington family, to my narrow escape in my 73rd life, all the way to my 100th life, where I sank into the mudslide. In one lifetime, I got into a car crash while handling business for Harlan, only for him to accuse me of making excuses to dodge social obligations. There was also a life where I lived to be 40. Finally, I didn’t have to compete with Damian anymore. Yet, Peyton stood at my bedside and commented that I should’ve wised up sooner. Then, Damian wouldn’t have to leave home. I did every single thing I could think of. It ranged from trying harder, backing down, saying all the right things, and even doing nothing at all. Not once did any of those choices lead the Killingtons to tell me that I was equally important as Damian. In my last life, I spent 20 minutes in this very flower shop. For once, someone told me that I didn’t have to pay anything just to sit for a while. Willow listened without inter