SIMULA

I bitterly smiled as the cold midnight breeze blew my curly bleach daze hair. Wherever I go, I would always feel the panic and anxiety lingering inside me.

I wonder if there are also other people who might be experiencing the same thing that I am currently going through. Lonely, missing someone's presence, and secrets I kept to myself for long as I can remember. I feel so lost and empty as I held the railings tightly, while looking at the blinding city lights.

Would this be the end of me? I asked myself. Will they look for me if I ever disappear? Will this end my suffering? Will this make them love me? I could finally give them what they have always wanted.

I stood firmly as my tears started running down my cheeks. Remembering when was the last time I felt genuinely happy. I'm so exhausted, fighting my own silent battles no one could hear but myself. I hate this, I hate this feeling. I always distanced myself from everyone, afraid that I would be a burden.

I always tend to push people away from me until it became my habit. My parents despise me for some reason that I don't and will never understand. Even though they wouldn't say a word, I can feel that they regret giving birth to me. They never treated me as their own child.

Some people characterized me as a "villain." Clichè right? But, they know nothing about me. I'm not a villain. I'm just a normal girl, who needs someone to put up with me, someone whose willing to be my shoulder I can cry on despite being like this.

I slowly closed my eyes.

"I'm sorry mom and dad. I wish you two a happy and blissful life," I softly whispered to myself.

I sighed deeply. I was about to jump of when someone grabbed me by the waist.

I opened my eyes. A pair of beautiful dark brown eyes met mine. His eyes were dark, full of anger. His jaw clenched. He's so close that I can hear his breathing. And I can sense that how exasperated he is at what I was about to do.

"Don't you dare jump," he said in full authority. "Please," he whispered as his voice broke.

He forcefully grabbed my waist and embraced me tightly. I heard him sob that made my heart skip a beat.

Who is he? And why is he crying? Why did he stopped me from jumping? I dont even know who he is.

I dont know if I should be happy or upset that someone was quick enough to stop me from meeting my death...

°°°

Someone approached me so I forced myself to stop from reading. I'm here at my own book signing event. I thought the girl earlier was the last customer?

"Omygosh! I'm so happy, Ate Gwy! I finally met you!" I was shocked and I didn't know what to say when she started crying.

"H-hey..." I tapped her cheeks slightly. I laughed when she hugged me so tight. The securities moved from their position but I shook my head.

"I'm so happy, Ate Gwy..." she apologized for crying but I said it was okay. I signed her t-shirt and book because that's what she wants. My secretary mouthed 'sorry, ma'am.' I just nod to tell her it's okay. I've never thought some people will notice my works. But maybe, I thought wrong.

I unconsciously smiled and started opening the first page of the book I was reading a while ago.

And then I started reading my own story...