CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 2

I am smirking while staring at the reviewer paper I am holding. I am now sitting in a branch of a tree under the dark night sky. I can't help but to think about for tomorrow. I am sure that he'll find me and I'm gonna make sure he'll beg for my attention.

Let's see if Ronald Madrigal would still ignore me. Am I too bored that even a nerd can pissed me off easily? Well, I don't know. Let's just say he caught my attention so I can't help but to bother him so bad. I smirked. I just got distracted when I felt Fin sat down beside me here in the branch.

"You aren't still sleeping?" He asked and looked above the dark sky. The stars aren't seen. Maybe because it's too cloudy.

"I will sleep if I want to." I shrugged and fold the reviewer. I saw him looking at the paper I'm holding.

"Where did you get that?" He asked like he knows what it is. Of course he knows it. Rael, Fin and Gray are listed as a student in the community college where Lexis and Ronald are studying.

"From someone I know. Why do you care?" I rolled my eyes so he chuckled. I know that he's used to me being like this. Among the three, Fin is the most closest to me. He's a bit loud and nosy but Rael is much louder. Gray is fine but he's too silent.

"I can feel it Cristine. The full moon is nearing. Herman and Carlos would probably kill a human again. They are not obeying Alqamar's orders." Fin said in the middle of the silence. I gritted my teeth. I know it would happen. Alqamar stopped the rules and it is the consequences. Many of the pack wouldn't listen to him anymore because that tradition already become their routine every full moon. And now Alqamar broke it just because his mate is a human. Herman and Carlos wouldn't accept it. Especially that Herman is his cousin. He is a threat to his throne and I know...Herman wants the throne and if that's happen, new war will arise.

"Let Alqamar deal with his problems, Fin." I said coldly.

"I heard Alqamar would be gone in three days?" Fin uttered. My brows furrowed. What? For what? Fin sighed.

"I think...he'll find Herman and Carlos and would try to convince them again..." I didn't let him finished his words because I immediately went down from the tree and searched for Alqamar. Is he crazy? Is he fucking want to be killed? Damn it! If he confront Herman and Carlos there is a possibility that they will kill him! And I am sure that Carlos and Herman have accomplices! This is fucking suicide!

"Alqamar!" I called him and slammed his door. I felt Fin behind me to stop me.

"Cristine...stop it! You're the one who said to let Alqamar deal with his problem--"

"Yes! I will let him deal with his problems but not this way! Does he want to fucking die Fin? Didn't he know what he'll gonna face if ever he confront one on one with his fucking cousin?!" I shouted very angry. I feel like all my blood went to my head. I just can't accept it damn it!

"What's with the noise?" We heard Alqamar when he open the door. I glared at him. His brows furrowed when he saw us.

"You'll be gone in three days? For what? To fucking die?" I sarcastically asked. I saw his jaw clenched.

"Cristine--"

"You know how dangerous it is to find them and confront them yourself! Don't fucking forget that there's a throne you have to protect Alqamar!" I shouted in frustration. I just can't sit and be silent. I have to fucking open his eyes. The moment he fell for that fucking mate thing everything just become messy! And damn it! This pack...was quiet and peaceful! But...after he met that damn girl everything just went in chaos!

"I know what I'm doing Cristine. You don't have to say that." He said. I saw he's stopping himself from getting angry at me. But I don't care. I just want to open his fucking eyes!

"I don't have to say that? Why won't I? When you are so fucking lovesick to that weakling?!" I cannot help it anymore. I stopped when he gave me deadly glares. I can feel how his hatred for me intensified. He look like he wants to kill me in that look. I can't believe he's looking at me like that.

"Don't fucking start it with me Cristine. You've been my friend and you're important to me so don't try my patience to throw you out." He warned me before he slammed the door close right in front of my face. I baled my fist in frustration. Fin held my arms but I pushed him away and walked out. I locked myself inside my room and from there I almost punch the cold wall of my room. I bit my lower lip to stop myself from crying.

Maybe I am not yet still move on. I still like Alqamar. But I know I am just hurting myself. I just want his safety. I am just worried for him. I want everyone's safety. I want this pack to be peaceful again like before. Is it bad to want it like that? Is it bad to wish for their safety? Is it wrong to feel worried for him?

Ever since I loved Alqamar I always find myself crying over and over again for him. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's love? Or...affection? Or because...I treat him as family?

But everytime I try to protect him I am the one who ends up hurting. And it's just so unfair. I also want someone to protect me because all my life I always protecting others.

I woke up in the morning feeling tired. What happened last night exhaust me. I showered myself and cooked for breakfast. After I ate breakfast I immediately left the house to check for Lexis. Like usual I followed her until she went inside her school safely. I order coffee from the counter in the café and sit in my usual table.

I sighed when I remember again what happened last night. Thinking about it makes me feel so small. I am so pathetic. Why am I trying so hard to protect him when...he do not need it anymore? Alqamar is strong. He doesn't need my protection even though I promised his father that I'll protect him. Now, I have to think that he's now grown up. He's in love with someone else now. He has his own life now. The life that doesn't include me.

My thoughts stopped when I felt someone sit right in front of me. My brows furrowed and my heart almost jumped out of my chest when I saw Ronald Madrigal, glaring at me. I blinked twice and got confused by my sudden reaction for him. Why am I suddenly nervous? This is new.

"Where's my reviewer?" He asked in gritted teeth. It's obvious that he's very mad at me right now.

I blinked twice again. Damn! I forgot his reviewer! How could I forget it?!

"I forgot about it. Can you wait here? I'll get it--"

"Do you know how I struggled last night for reviewing myself without it and now you're saying you forgot about it?" He said pissed. I just looked at him without reaction. What should I say? I don't want to add fuel to the fire anymore.

"That's why I'll get it now..." I said lazily and was about to stood up when he pulled my hand back to my seat! My eyes widened because of the strength he has. Woah. Is he really that mad?

"If I fucking failed this one you'll gonna pay for this!" He warned me and stood up to leave me dumbfounded. I was really shocked. I stared at the wrist he held earlier and I feel like something struck my body when I felt him touched me. What the hell was that Cristine? Was that just my hallucination?

But still, I went back to the house to find the reviewer and when I finally found it I immediately went back to the café to wait for him but classes ended without him. I left the café and started to walked towards the school until I saw Lexis and Ronald walking together. They are off to leave. I saw Lexis waved goodbye to him and I saw how Ronald smiled at her.

I never see him gave me that smile. All I could see in his eyes whenever he's looking at me is his over the roof anger for me. It's making me irritated. How could he looked at Lexis with those eyes when he can't look at me that way?

And what the hell?! Why am I...getting sentimental over this?! So what if he's looking at like that with Lexis? Millions of man also looked me that same way! So what if Ronald didn't?!

But damn...I can't deny the fact how it is making me angry.

I swallowed hard when I saw Ronald walking away. I know he's now off to go home. I slowly walk towards him and blocked his way. His brows furrowed when he looked at me. That intense eyes. That angry eyes are directed to me. It was burning me.

"What are you doing?" He asked with a tone of annoyance. How I hate it the way he talks to me. It's like...I still haven't do anything but he's already mad.

"Your reviewer is here." I handled him the paper but he just stare at the paper in my hands.

"I don't need it anymore. Just throw it or else burn it." He said coldly and was about to leave but I blocked his way again.

"But...you might still need this--"

"You know what? I don't know why you're keep appearing in front of me. I don't know why you're pestering my life. I really don't know and I don't want to know either but can you please leave out of my life?" He sounds so rude when saying that. My lips parted. I don't know how to react. His eyes...the way he looks at me...I feel so small.

I am not a cry baby. I am strong. So I won't cry. I only let myself cry when I am alone. So stop your tears Cristine.

He's right, though. I shouldn't have pester his life. I thought it will make my boredom go away. I didn't know it will hurt me this way. But I shouldn't. He is nothing. He is just a nerd out there that doesn't supposed to affect me.

Before he can walk pass me I uttered the words that I hope he heard.

"I hate you..." I whispered and walked away.

I ran towards the forest and turned myself into a wolf and ran like I own that place. My white fur is dancing with the wind while I am running so fast. I just stopped in top of the hill I saw.

Why? Why do I always have to beg for the people I want for attention? I suddenly felt tired for finding that someone who will value my existence.

I went back home after that and locked myself up again. I'm not in the mood to talk. I sighed when I remember Ronald again. I remember the way he looked at Lexis...

Lexis...Ronald looked at Lexis with pure gentleness that he never did to me.

Realization dawned on me after thinking it over and over again.

I baled my fist.

Ronald...you like Lexis huh? Is that why...you look at her with that gentle eyes?

My anger for Lexis is over to the roof that no one could ever stop me from coming to her the next day. When I saw Ronald departed from her when their class ended I acted like I am buying a mineral water and confront her. I didn't tell her anything because I know that she still doesn't know Alqamar's identity. For sure she'll run for hill if she found out that she loves a wolf. That she fell in a creature she despised off.

"He's out of town because he is trying to stop something and it was all because of you. He started to gain enemy the moment he met you. I told you...you'll just ruin him. And he'll just hurt you," I whispered and walk past her.

Her lips trembled. It is just right for her. She ruined everything. I want to deny it but...I am so jealous of her. How come everyone are so into her and left no one with me? I can't accept it.

"Tell me what you know about him!" She asked desperately.

"Why don't you ask him instead?" I mocked and licked my lips trying to pissed her off.

Yes Lexis. I want you mad. I want to destroy you so much. I want you to feel guilty. Because why the God has chosen you to be lucky? You're so weak! All you did was to bring trouble but why everyone are so good to you?! Why can't they did the same to me?!

"You would probably run in fear...once you found out his secrets. So it's better for you to just ask him," I said grittily.

"Do you like him Cristine?" I was a bit stunned by her sudden question. She's asking me if I like Alqamar. I also really didn't know. If love means wanting to protect someone then maybe it is. My lips curved for a smirk.

"Of course I am. You even saw me kissing him right?" I said that to pissed her off more.

In the end, walking back home after the heated talk with Lexis...I thought that maybe...somethings just never go the same way you want it to be.

Even you knelt for it. Even you begged for it and pleaded for it. It will not be yours if it is not meant for you.

To make the pain away I have to think that way so that I can move on and forget everything.