Make Things Clear

“He told me a quote that was really inspiring. That children can also see the light at the end of the tunnel. He is no longer bossy. He is also less passive when speaking. He is no longer picky about food. He is willing to act; he plays close attention to the leader’s instructions. He is a gentleman. He no longer complains. He communicates well.”

Howard smiled as he was walking to the car where he was going to sleep for tonight. He was able to read those enumerated remarks about him in just twenty seconds or less. Even though Zannie was being cold and mean to him, she still even gave him good remarks regarding his performance and demeanor while doing humanitarian work in Trias.

“I must give her a proper reward. Or should I say, I must do her a favor since she gave me a good grade,” he said and closed his eyes while still thinking of her.

***

Zannie also found time to hand Howard's evaluation sheet to Jacob. It is true that Jacob is not on duty yet so Zannie has to follow him in his barracks.

“Oh? What brings you here?” Jacob said in shock when he saw her approaching.

Zannie nodded. “I brought something urgent. I assumed that you're about to get busy in a couple of days so I'm going to give you this.”

They measured the gaze. Jacob immediately discerned Zannie's attitude. He knew immediately what her mood was—like the weather in Trias, not good.

"What are you doing here? Just hurry up because my superior might see you. We'll do something later." He doesn't take away his smile while facing Zannie's so she would never assume that he's pushing her away.

"I've finished Howard's evaluation sheet. After another activity of our volunteers, I'll go home too, I'm about to go back to Manila. Maybe, your favors will be finished after you submit that to Howard's father.”

"Yes. Thank you very much for your help. How is Howard? Isn't he okay? I mean, has his demeanor changed a bit?”

"He's doing okay. So, now Jacob, I want to know what you can get from Howard? Apart from the favor of your father's friend that he's here and watching over you, what other benefit can you get? You know, I'm not convinced. That's the only reason that Howard was just asked to help you because of his connection with your father who's also friends with his father. I know there is something more about that.”

Zannie met Jacob's gaze as if her face had darkened because of the words she had let out. In her mind, it is possible that Howard's father is the sole reason who fulfilled Jacob's dream of becoming a full-fledged soldier. She's really unaware this time that Jacob didn't like what she said.

She recoils because of the ‘warning glare’ that Jacob threw at her. It was refreshing and it was there that she had the idea that the young man might have been offended by what she had said.

Jacob shook his head as his palms clenched. "Zannie, you're selfish. That's the truth," was not in Jacob's own statement.

He had better turn his back on Zannie. This situation must be really upsetting for both of them. He didn't think he could underestimate his capacity like that, or maybe Zannie just said that because she still couldn't accept the fact that he had achieved his long-held dream and it was unlikely that there would be hope for the two of them to level up the relationship as more than just friends. From the start, he's aware that Zannie was into him.

"What did you say?" Zannie's tears rolled down her cheeks as she watched Jacob slowly step away from her. Her heart seemed to tremble once more when Jacob confronted her again.

"You don't trust me until now? And you think I need the help of others in order to succeed? Okay, I'll tell you too. There's a foundation that handles Howard's business but he doesn't pay attention to it because he focuses on the business and its profit. His father noticed that the foundation had been neglected and he became boastful and conceited when he became the CEO of the company, and this was the solution he thought of to at least change his son's attitude, because Trias was one of the SLI's beneficiaries and Howard had no knowledge about it. So I don't want others to know Howard's background, because I don't want him to feel entitled when others find out who he is. I hope you're enlightened by what I've revealed, Zannie. If you have nothing more to say, go back to the evacuation center and do your task as I am about to mind my own business too.”

Perhaps Jacob's words hurt even more than the blow. Zannie felt like she had hurt her best friend right away. She stepped away from him again but she managed to stop even for a moment.

"Jacob, I'm not selfish. Ever since I met you, you've been on my mind. Don't you know that you're really the reason I'm here? Is it bad to desire your safety? Is that bad?" She can't stop her tears right now.

For the first time, she cried in front of the man who first made her heart beat and it's not that easy to handle. If only the earth could have swallowed her, it should have happened earlier so she will never feel ashamed.

"Zannie, I didn't ask you to come with me. It's clear that I've always dreamed of this. I hope you understand me. If you're not selfish, I hope you will just feel happy for me or at least cheer me up. Please." Jacob wiped away Zannie's tears and gently held both of her shoulders.

"Zannie, I know you also have many dreams that you want to reach in your life. I hope you do it for yourself. Life is too short to waste. I appreciate everything you do. But I hope you also appreciate yourself. I love you, but not as much as you expect from me. I don't want you to be angry or to feel that resentment so I hope we can understand each other now before you go back to the center, before we separate ways. Okay?"

Zannie looked up at Jacob. He was finally smiling as well. She hugged him tight. "Always be careful, Jacob. Just make sure you're safe, huh?"

"For you, Zannie, yes I will be safe. Thank you," Jacob whimpered.

"I'm gonna read the evaluation sheet later. Okay?" He beamed.