A Sudden Question

"Howard?"

His smile automatically registered on his face when Zannie called him by his name. He immediately looked at her.

"Why? Are you done with your dinner?"

Zannie nodded. "By the way, you can sleep inside. I'll just wait for Lucille and where she can sleep, I'll just be there."

"But, that's a quarter."

"No, ah. She said we'll be there first on the other side, with the new volunteers." She smiled prettily.

Howard is even more fond of looking at her.

"I can sleep here, oh." Howard pointed to the bamboo bench he was sitting on, it was even big enough for a person to sleep on and there was no need to bend over.

"The breeze is nice out here, I can sleep easier. Go to sleep too, Zannie."

Howard even demonstrated that he can sleep on that bench. He was able to fit himself. He's tall but he knows that he can sleep there comfortably.

"I've been tired all day due to the amount of relief goods distributed earlier. I'm used to it."

Zannie could do nothing but shake her head. She couldn't figure out if she should laugh at Howie. She didn't think it would be a good gesture to him. And she still feels that he assumed that he is talking differently to her now unlike in the past.

"Because in your company, you're used to being the one in charge. Is that right? But here, it's more challenging."

"Yes. By the way, goodnight Zannie." Howard closed his eyes. He fell asleep easily because he was tired from the day he spent at the evacuation center.

Then Zannie was there, standing beside that bench where Howard fell asleep. She was free to stare at his handsome face.

‘People like you are too handsome to be human. You don't seem real, you're even more handsome than the TV stars. '

While looking at him, there were things that Zannie suddenly visualized. In her mind, she saw Howard more than just a colleague or an ordinary friend. Why so? Does she seem to be daydreaming? She now thinks of Howard as a boyfriend. She suddenly popped that bubble in her imagination. Maybe she's tired the whole day, tired of crying over Jacob who will never like her. It is even clearer in the lake waters now because she has already talked to Jacob. She was supposed to feel the pain, but she couldn't understand why instead of pain, her rejection seemed to bring more pleasure?

“I don't know why I'm starting to feel this.”

***

The next morning, Zannie and Howard were assigned to go to the other headquarters to sort undistributed materials before they will finally go back to Manila. She smiled as she pondered of things that will possibly make her feelings clear for him.

“Is it okay if I'm the one who will drive there to our destination?” Howard calmly asked.

“It's okay.” Zannie timidly smiled.

The two of them remained silent for about half an hour until Howard realized something. He unintentionally stopped the car on the side of the road which made Zannie feel confused.

“What happened? Why did you stop driving? Is there anything wrong with the vehicle?” Zannie worriedly asked.

"It's like we're out of gas," Howard admitted while shaking his head.

"Huh? It's annoying! How is that! It's terrible! Do you know where we are now? This place is scary!"

"I don't know. But I'll find a way to make us get out of here."

Howard got out of the car and checked his phone. Luckily, there's a signal in the area where they are located. He informed some of their colleagues about running out of gas and they quickly got a swift response from them since they have to sort those goods before they wrap up their humanitarian activities.

"What are you going to do? What did they tell you?" Zannie asked in a hushed tone.

“They will follow us here, don't worry. But for now, we have to wait here. And I think the rain is about to fall. Look how dark the clouds are,” Howard informed Zannie and looked up at the sky.

“I think so.” Zannie let out a sigh and rested her head on the dashboard. Howard noticed her uneasiness at that time so he came closer to check on her.

“Are you okay? I told you that they're going to follow us here,” he said.

“I'm just thinking of the possibility that the medical team head might scold me again because of this trouble. He might mess with me once he finds out that I made a mistake, like this,” Zannie unenthusiastically admitted.

“His opinion doesn't matter to me and it shouldn't matter to you. Understand?” He was encouraging her right now.

“By the way, I'd like to ask you one thing,” she said and looked closer to Howard.

“What is it? I'm willing to answer if that won't cross the line.”

“I just pondered about your other passion outside being a CEO in your inherited company. Is it fun? If it weren't because you became the CEO, what would be your attitude then? I thought about this the whole night. Do you have dreams like Jacob? I mean, aside from being the boss, what else do you want?”

Howard released a heavy sigh as he was thinking of an absolute answer.

“I didn't dream of anything. I just want to make my girlfriend proud of me and marry me. Aside from that, I used to write blogs but my dad needed my support in our company and that's why, I became the CEO at a very young age, I was only 23 when I acquired my dad's position,” Howard recounted.

“But that's not the only reason why I accepted that role in our company. Back then, my fiancee was always rooting for me to become the boss. She dreamed of a CEO husband and she didn't support me in my passion. She married someone else,” he continued.

“I'm sorry to hear that. You don't deserve a woman like her. But what happened when you became the CEO? Did she reconnect again to you?” Zannie asked and she threw a sympathetic glare at Howard as she was interrogating him.

“I haven't seen her. I heard from one of her friends that she's living abroad, in New York to be exact. But anyway, why are you asking me about my previous life? Is there anything that runs in your mind that I deserve to know?”

Zannie quickly shook her head. “Nothing. Out of the blue, I just became curious about you.”

“Why?”

“I told you, it's nothing.”

“Is it because you like me?”

Zannie laughed out loud. “Stop assuming that I like you. You're not Jacob to begin with.”

“But I can outsmart him,” Howard shrugged.

“But he's stronger than you.”

Howard smiled bitterly. He felt upset that Zannie sees him as a frail and as someone who won't reach her standards.