Chapter 5

I stared into his eyes, seeing my own pitiful reflection.

"I...need the medicine."

"No, that's not it." He shook his head. "Try again. Who do you need?"

The pain was swallowing me whole. I clutched at his wrist, my nails digging in. "Please...the medicine..."

"Say you need me."

"I need you!" I screamed. "I need you, Francis! Give me the medicine! Please!"

He wore a grin of triumph as he tipped two white pills into my hand and watched me swallow them. Then he kissed me, hard, his tongue tangling with mine, not stopping even when the pills went down. My clothes did not stand a chance; they were torn away in seconds.

I was powerless to fight back. The pain from my injuries and the agony of being without medication: it was a living nightmare.

There was no pleasure in that, only a desperate wait for the numbness that should follow the medicine. However, relief did not come. The pain lingered. My mind stayed sharp.

With all the strength I could muster, I shoved Francis away. "This...isn't medicine."

"It's a different kind," he said, panting as he tried to explain. "You need to live, Natalie, to really feel what you feel for me without the drugs."

I got it then. He did not want me to just give in; he wanted my heart, my real feelings.

However, he did not understand that my heart had died a long time ago, back when the Davis family took my parents from me.

Sure, that new drug kept me cool, and it took the edge off the pain.

However, it was just the edge. The deep, wrenching pain that made me wish for death was fading, yet the sharp stabs in my bones were as cruel as ever.

I felt like the Little Mermaid, fresh on her new legs, each step a dance on blades.

Was that what being alive felt like?

Death seemed better.

That was what I thought until the bleeding started, a faint seep from my wounds. Francis pulled away, fixing the chaos of the bed.

"You'll see," I whispered.

"See what?"

"The real me."

I threw the covers off and got up, my legs barely holding me. However, I made it to the door, one shaky step at a time.

"Where are you going?" Francis called after me.

"I need to get some air." I shrugged into my jacket, forcing a half-hearted grin. "Want to come with?"

Ever since I snapped back to reality, I hardly ever asked anyone to hang out.

Francis was totally up for it.

The hospital was pretty swanky, and Francis had hooked me up with a room on the 18th floor. Below us, Newvale City glittered at night like a fake starry sky.

I shoved the window open, and the night air rushed in, icy and sharp, cutting through the pain for a second.

It felt amazing. "Hey, Francis, what do you even like about me?"

He paused, searching for words. "I'm not sure. The moment I saw you ten years ago, I just knew I had to have you."

"Had to have me..." I snorted, a bitter edge to my laugh. "So, I never had a choice? I couldn't even just zone out and get through life?"

Francis looked worried. "Natalie, you're going to make it. We've got tons of time. Just hang in there..."

"I'm done hanging in there!" I shouted, and with that, I swung myself over the windowsill.

"Natalie!"

Suddenly, I was not falling anymore.

Pain exploded in my shoulder.

Francis had snagged my arm, his eyes wild with fear. "Stop it! Don't be an idiot!"

"It's not idiotic," I said. "It's the sanest thing I've done in a decade."

"Get back here! That's an order!"

I could not help but laugh. "You can't order me around, Francis. I'm not under your spell anymore. Your chains? They're gone." I looked up into his tear-filled eyes. "Take a good look. This is the real me, the one who'd rather die than love you again."

"No way!" Francis clutched my hand, pulling with all his might. "Natalie, I saved your life, and that means you're mine forever!"

My hand shook as I fished a handgun from my coat and pressed it to Francis' forehead. "You were never what I wanted."

The shot echoed, and Francis' grip slipped away.

I plummeted down, and the last thing I saw was the look in Francis' eyes as he noticed the bullet hole by the window and turned to me.

Did he think I was going to end him?

No, I could not.

He was right about one thing: my life was his to save, so I returned the favor.