CHAPTER TWENTY TWO: Almost Real

ADELE'S POV

I slipped on my way out of the shower.

My foot skidded on the wet tiles, and I caught myself against the sink.

I'm still getting the hang of walking without the chair. I shouldn't be in such a hurry, but my phone has been ringing non stop and I'm getting worried.

I stood in the middle of the room dripping water all over the floors.

“Girl where have you been? Everyone's worried”

Ronnie's voice blasted through my speaker.

I hadn't called her ever since the scandal, ever since Julian came home looking several years older. The rumors spread like wildfire.

I didn't want to believe them, but I couldn't shake the eerie feeling in my gut. Something was off.

“Don't worry about me, Ron. I'm fine” I lied.

My nights were ridden with nightmares. It's always the same. I'm trying to escape my burning room and someone shoves me out the window.

Ronnie wasn't buying it.

“Did he actually hurt you, Adele? I need you to answer me honestly”

“No. Julian will never hurt me” but that sounded too fond. Too trusting.

“Then how did it happen? And you didn't call me!” Ronnie was angry. And rightfully so.

“I'm sorry. It was just a lot and I just needed some time to heal”

“You're my best friend, Ads. Didn’t you think I'd be there for you?”

“Okay, but now you're just guilting me for taking some time off”

Ronnie breathed loudly

“Okay okay! I'm sorry. How are you feeling right now? Are you safe?”

I said yes, but I had been looking over my shoulder for the past week. I can't shake the feeling that someone is watching. Waiting.

“But…you let him bring his ex wife into your home?”

I flinched. When she put it that way, I kinda felt like a pushover.

“It's complicated, Ronnie. Plus it's not a big deal if our marriage isn't real” It was obviously a big deal, but I'd be damned if I let my crown slip.

Celeste was hardly around anyway. Strange, but good news.

“But nobody else knows that. You can't keep taking whatever Julian throws at you”

Is that what I'm doing? Am I just playing patsy to Julian's plans? I asked for a job, but it's been weeks, although he was really swamped with work.

The scandals were hitting him hard and he was in the brink of losing the company. But that's not enough reason to completely abandon me at home.

He spends his nights in his office. I hated to admit that I longed to hear his light snores, so I said nothing.

Ronnie kept talking but my focus was elsewhere.

Julian's voice carried throughout the entire house.

He was back early.

“I have to go, Ronnie. I'll text you…or something. Love you “ I hung up before she could respond.

I pressed a palm to my stomach and exhaled deeply, trying to expel the negative tension in my body.

I wrapped a towel loosely around myself. Julian must have left something behind. That wasn't my problem anymore. If he wanted to exclude me from his life, so be it.

His figure in the doorway startled me.

My insides screamed in excitement but I kept my poker face on.

His eyes lingered on my face, then trailed down to my loose towel. I wrapped my hands around my chest. This moment felt too intimate. He's never seen me like this.

He turned to leave, but not fast enough.

His eyes flicked once,then again.

My towel. My skin. Me.

He looked away, jaw tight.

“I’m sorry.”

“No!” The words were out before I could stop them. I didn't want him to leave. In a weird way, I wanted him to watch me. “Come in. It's your room too”

He didn’t speak. Just stood there, eyes lowered, but jaw tight like he was forcing himself not to look back.

I could feel his gaze like heat trailing down my spine.

I dried myself and went into the walk-in closet, looking for something comfortable.

“So I was thinking,” his voice carried from the doorway. “ I've been really busy lately and we haven't spent much time together…I just…wanna see a movie together?”

My fingers tightened around my hoodie. Surely Julian Hawthorne didn't come all the way from work to see a movie with me.

I pulled on my dove gray sweatpants, lifting my right knee gingerly. It still felt hurt when I moved too fast.

I stepped out of the closet. A soft smile curved Julian's lips. My insides turned to mush.

I hate when he looks at me like I'm the only woman in the room. He makes it so effortless it scares me.

“You look really cute, but you're not seriously going out in public like that, are you? I'll end up in cuffs”

He wants to go now?

“Come on, I need the world to see you.”

He meant it like a compliment.

But something about the way he said it…twisted in my gut.

“That’s why you skipped work today?”

Julian rolled his eyes.

“I'm the CEO. I can skip work whenever I want”

“Okay Mr. CEO.”

I let him whisk me back into the closet, feeling all my defences slip away.

Am I dirty for wanting his hands all over me right now?

******

Adele couldn't fight it anymore.

Her love for Julian brimmed in her every action.

The way her fingers gripped his as he helped her into the car, the way her heart fluttered when he placed her feet on his thighs as he drove with one hand, gently stroking her knee with the other.

It hurt in the best way possible.

He lifted her in his arms like a weightless dumbbell. His eye never left hers as he carried her through the glass doors.

“Put me down, Julian. I can walk” she protested weakly, leaning against his hard chest.

“You’ve been strong for too long, Ads. You don't have to do that anymore”

That was her undoing. Tiny fireworks erupted behind her eyes.

“Where did all the people go?” Adele asked curiously, craning her neck to the side.

The mall was quiet. No busy customers swinging grocery bags, no crying children, no paparazzi milling about. Only the staff milled around, peeping at them while pretending to mop the floors and clean the shelves.

“Oh that? I made a few arrangements” Julian smirked, clearly proud of himself.

“You rented the mall?”

“I wanted to buy It, but that went south quickly, given my sullied reputation. But we won't go into that.Tonight is about you”

Adele felt her heart leap. He was prioritising her. That has to be a good sign, wasn't it?

The cinema was quiet. She sat cozied up in her chair, surrounded by a mountain of popcorn and Doctor Pepper.

The screen whirred to life. ‘The Notebook’ was aired on the screen. A feeling of nostalgia washed through her.

She had seen this movie with Ronnie for the first time, and now she was seeing it with her husband, albeit fake.

Adele watched the movie, but Julian watched her.

His eyes shone like the stars.

He pulled out his phone. Adele didn't notice the flashes of light coming from behind the screen. Julian did. A small smile formed on his face and he leaned in, nuzzling his nose in her hair.

The credits rolled on the screen, leaving Adele wet eyed, laughing and crying.

“Oh…they're so in love” her fingers tightened around Julian's. He lifted her hand and kissed it so softly. His eyes burned into hers.

“I just might be falling in love with you, Adele Rivers”

Her breath caught. Did he mean it? She really wanted to believe it, but her brain muffled the screams of her heart.

Her eyes rested on Julian's face, then fell to his lips. Taut, slightly parted, leaning in.

Her eyelids fluttered closed. She desperately wanted to taste him, to become his. To make this real. His lips brushed against hers, sending jolts of electricity down her spine. She drooled with longing.

‘There's a bigger picture here, Adele. Don't be stupid’ her inner voice reached out and yanked her back to reality.

Her eyes opened. Julian's fingers brushed through her hair. It felt so right and so wrong.

She pulled back, placing both palms against his chest and pushing gently.

“I don't think we should.” she muttered, surprised by the firmness of her voice.

“You're right. I'm sorry” Julian rose and shoved his hands in his pocket. His jaw clenched and he glanced at her longingly.

“We should go” Adele rose from her seat, full of popcorn and Doctor Pepper.

The drive home was short. Julian turned up the music and Adele hummed quietly, but no words were said.

She insisted on climbing the stairs by herself. Julian stood at her side, ready to hold her up if she slipped.

They stopped in front of his room.

Adele didn't know what else to say. She didn't want to apologise for refusing his kiss. He wasn't entitled to that.

“Thank you for tonight. It was a really good movie”

Julian shook his head slowly, his eyes locked onto hers.

“Kinda hard to notice when I was watching you the whole time” his hands trembled slightly in his pocket.

“Goodnight, Julian” Adele escaped behind the doors, closing them gently behind her.

She sank to the floor and buried her head in her hands.

Tonight was everything she wanted. Julian was everything she wanted. Why was she fighting this?

She crawled into bed, not wanting to take a shower.

Julian wasn't there, but his scent lived in her clothes, in her hair, on her skin.