CHAPTER TWENTY: A Dream I Don't Deserve

Adele hadn’t expected to find candlelight waiting for her, let alone Julian standing at the center of it all, nervously adjusting his sleeves like a man about to ruin everything with sincerity.

He had asked her to wear something comfortable for a dinner date, but she wasn't expecting this.

She paused, her eyes catching the soft glow of the table, the little vase of wildflowers he'd picked from the garden she never noticed. And then her gaze locked with his.

Julian stilled.

“Adele.”

He cleared his throat. “You look…”

His throat dried.

Beautiful felt like an insult. Breathtaking felt inadequate.

“You look like a dream I don’t deserve to have,” he finally muttered.

Adele’s lips curved, but only faintly.

She wore a champagne colored satin slip dress, soft as a sigh and cruelly simple. The fabric clung to her lightly, as if chosen by the breeze, dipping just enough at the back, and parting high at one thigh where the slit fell.

Her shawl, a pale translucent wrap, drifted from one shoulder like she hadn’t fully decided whether to wear it or not.

Adey didn’t reply. Instead, she walked delicately closer, letting the candlelight catch the shine of her dress, the shimmer of her skin.

The quiet between them wasn’t heavy. It pulsed with something soft.

Something alive.

This was her first time out of her wheelchair, and she had never felt more alive for the past month.

Julian’s eyes lingered on her, the way her dress hugged her features as she walked, the sinful slit in front, exposing her silky skin. Julian was heady on her perfume.

He pulled out a seat for her.

Adele wore a warm smile, but her insides were screaming.

Julian looked…Gorgeous? Heavenly? Straight out of a magazine? Those were all understatements. He smelled of aftershave and sandalwood.

Her breath caught.

She vowed to keep her distance from Julian, so why was she sitting at his table, on a date, drooling over her napkin?

Julian cleared his throat nervously.

“I made creamy pasta and shrimp. I hope you like it”

Adele gasped and laughed lightly.

“Are you kidding? That's my favorite comfort meal”

She couldn't take her eyes off him. Julian plated the meal and set it down in front of her. He poured her a glass of water.

“No alcohol for you tonight. We need your meds to work” Julian set down the pitcher.

“You're the boss, Mr Hawthorne”

“Damn right I am, Mrs Hawthorne” he smirked, pouring himself a glass of water.

“No alcohol for you too?” She teased

Julian paused, a thoughtful smile on his face.

“If you can't drink, then I won't. We're in this together”

Adele blinked. Together. But for how long?

The pasta was rich and velvety, laced with garlic and white wine. The shrimps were seared to golden perfection, tender with just the right kick of spice.

Every detail, down to the freshly torn basil and toasted garlic bread, told her one thing.

Julian could cook. And he’d done it with intention.

“Where'd you get the recipe for this? It tastes like a warm hug” Adele moaned and chewed on the last shrimp, reveling in the spicy and buttery taste.

Julian watched her, fire sparking to life in his chest. His food sat half finished. He felt satisfied just watching her.

“Three YouTube videos. I ignored two of them”

“And you didn't burn the house down this time. Second time's the charm, I see” She sipped water from her glass, hiding the teasing curve of her lips.

Julian sucked his teeth.

“Actually, fourth time's the charm. I almost burned down the kitchen when I was 15. Was trying to bake a birthday cake for my mom.”

Adele muffled a laugh.

“At least the effort counts”

“Yeah. Yeah, it does” Julian only liked to remember the beautiful moments of that bittersweet day.

Adele's laughter came to a halt. Julian sat quiet, staring down at his plate, brows furrowed in concentration. His shoulders sagged lightly.

Her mind raced desperately.

“In the spirit of sharing embarrassing moments, I once peed in a public pool. Everybody noticed.”

Julian's eyes widened in shock, the colour returned to his face.

“No way!”

“Yes! Guess what I did next” Adele quipped

Julian leaned in curiously.

“Relocate to another continent?”

Adele shook her head and laughed.

“No, silly! It was far worse. I swam to the bottom of the pool. I thought that if I stayed down there long enough, people will forget about me.

I almost drowned that day. Drank a good amount of pool water too”

By the time she finished, Julian was purple with laughter.

He slapped his knee lightly and his chest heaved up and down. Adele stared at it, longing to place her ears on his chest and listen to his melodious heartbeat.

For tonight, she was willing to believe that they could be something. Something real.

“Ready for dessert?” Julian stood up and adjusted his sleeves.

“Ooouuu! What's for dessert?”

“Cookie dough ice cream. I made it myself “ Julian declared proudly.

Adele clapped her hands excitedly. She remembered mentioning how cookie dough held a special significance to her.

Her heart melted as the cold, milky aroma of the ice cream wafted into her nostrils.

Julian’s cookie dough ice cream was smooth, creamy, and rich with vanilla ribboned with dark chocolate swirls and packed with buttery, chewy chunks of cookie dough that melted on Adele’s tongue like a sweet secret.

Three scoops later, Adele wrapped her shawl around herself and purred in satisfaction.

Julian’s chest swelled with a deep aching feeling. In that moment, he wanted to give her the world.

“What do you want, Adele? Say anything and I'll get it done. Anything at all.”

Adele sat up thoughtfully. Julian's offer hung in the air– A simple question, yet so hard.

Adele didn't know what she wanted. Then it struck her.

“A job. I want a job.”

Julian nodded slowly, confusion crossing his features.

“I want to be more than this. I'm not just Mrs Hawthorne. I had a life of my own before this, and I should have a life after it”

He never knew he could fall even harder for someone, but sitting there, watching Adele talk about her life goals, Julian felt a new respect for her.

“I have a Masters degree in accounting, you know. It's just…keeping a job was hard coupled with taking care of mom. I kinda lost myself along the line.”

Julian's heart ached for her.

“I'll get you your dream job, Adele. I promise”

He thought of giving her a job in his company, but he knew she'd decline. She wanted something of her own, without him in it. Julian was willing to respect that.

Adele's eyes met his and she smiled, raised her glass in a mock toast and took a sip.

She lifted herself to her feet cautiously and winced. Julian was at her side in a heartbeat, hovering cautiously but not too close that she felt emasculated.

Adele blushed.

“Thank you for dinner, Julian. I'd like to go to bed now.” A playful smile curled up her lip and she curtsied slowly, ignoring the strain in her right knee.

Julian offered his hand. Adele took it–then he pulled her in and picked her up off her feet.

Knots formed in her stomach and loosened. Her head was light, but she didn't know if it was the meds or Julian's gaze.

Their faces almost touched. She wrapped her arms around his neck and nestled her head in his chest, breathing in his scent as he carried her up the stairs.

The door to his room was slightly ajar. He nudged it open with his foot and took slow deliberate steps toward the bed.

Adele felt a strange longing when he tucked her into the sheets.

“I'll be in my office if you need anything. Just ring the bell.”

Adele nibbled at her lower lip, battling the urge to reach up and pull his weight on her. To crush her in the best way possible.

His lips lingered on her forehead, branding her.

She shut her eyes as Julian flicked off the lights.

Then she opened them and her eyes lingered on his silhouette as he walked towards the door.

She blinked as the door shut, plunging the room into darkness. His cologne was everywhere–in the sheets, in her hair, on her dress.

She groaned and pulled the sheets over her head.

There was no going back. Julian lived rent free in her head.

Adele knew this will be her undoing, but she was past the point of no return.