LOGINELIANA
After a twenty minute drive, my car pulls up at the school’s parking lot at my usual parking spot. I turn off the engine and grab my backpack from the backseat then alight the car. I look around the parking lot and my lips curl into a smile when I spot Ethan's car parked a few metres from mine. I can't help but feel that ache in my heart, the desire to see him. Without a second thought, I turn on my heels to go find him. Today is an important day to him, to both of us and I want him to know that I have his back. I will always do. Always. We have been dating for two damn years now but it feels like yesterday. He's my first boyfriend, my first everything and we have made so many plans together. We have a whole future planned out and I can't wait for it to turn into reality. A simple house with a picket fence, a dog and two or three kids, him achieving his dreams of being a professional hockey player, fulfilling my dreams of becoming a sport's doctor since I love hockey and I would like to take care of him when he's injured… My eyes find him across the field. The smile on my face fades away slowly and I crease my eyebrows when I notice he's talking to a redhead, laughing and they seemed to be comfortable around each other. There’s this uneasy feeling at the pit of my stomach. I have never seen the girl and they look so close. I know all of Ethan's friends because most of them are his teammates. Taking a deep breath, I push the feeling away, trying not to allow negative thoughts to get in my head and walk to him. “Ethan?” I call in a gentle voice and he turns to look in my direction and so is the redhead. “Eliana?” He responds with a little surprise. Perhaps he wasn't expecting me to show up or something. However, the surprise is replaced with a soft smile. That kind of smile that he always puts on whenever he lays his eyes on me and I relax. The redhead looks at me from head to toe and she makes a face which I don't care to read since I’m used to those kinds of looks anyway. I hold her stare, not backing down, “Oh Eliana, meet Tess. She's my mother's best friend's daughter. She transferred to Hill in junior year a day ago. She hasn't made any friends yet and that's why she's hanging with me. She’s my childhood friend too.” I turn to look at Tess and nod to Ethan's words in understanding. Now it makes sense why they looked so comfortable while talking and laughing. There was this familiarity between the two which I couldn't wrap my head around. It felt like they knew each other too well. “Nice to meet you, Tess.” I respond with a smile since I don't want to look rude to Ethan's friend. He has always respected my best friend Zoe and I think it's only fair if I respected his friend too. “Tess, please meet Eliana. She's the one I have been telling you about. She helps me a lot with hockey.” Ethan says and I nod with a smile. Tess goes quiet for a minute but she manages a subtle smile. “Nice to meet you, Eliana.” She says. However, I could tell that she isn't that…happy to meet me. “I think I should get going. I wish you good luck with your game today, Ethan. I will be cheering for you.” She turns her attention to Ethan, smiling at him sweetly then turns to me. “ I guess…I’ll see you too, Eliana.” The corner of her lips twists into a smile and I nod at her word, smiling back. She turns around and walks away. “Don't mind her, she's a little distant when she isn't used to you but once you get to know her, she's a good person. I promised her mother that I would help her get through the struggles of adapting to the new environment. I hope you get it.” Ethan explains to me briefly and I nod in understanding as I know the feeling too well. “How are you feeling? Ready?” I ask, brushing off the Tess topic. Ethan releases a deep breath, “ Hell yeah! We have been training for this particular day!” He says in confidence and the corner of my lips lifts up into a smile. “ I hope you and your team won't disappoint. You need to win the first match so that you can have the advantage over the Hawkers for the remaining two games to present Python in the tournament championship.”I remind Ethan and he smiles at me. “I won't disappoint you, Eli. You have to believe in me.” He assures me, cradling my face. “I believe in you. Don't forget about what I told you. He has weakness on his left side and he experiences tunnel vision too. Use his weaknesses to your advantage. And don't let him know about your weaknesses because he will exploit them and use them to his advantage. You know how it works, never let the enemy find out your weakness.” I remind him and he smiles broadly. “I can't forget about such important information. Have you ever tried being a coach? I heard it pays well. Perhaps you can be Mathew’s assistant coach.” Ethan jokes, referring to Python's coach. I roll my eyes playfully at his words. “Well…you can say I learned some tips from the best.” I joke back, referring to uncle James. “I can't debate about it.” He raises his hands in surrender since it's the truth. Uncle James used to be one of the top hockey players in the country. However, his career ended a little early because of a serious knee injury. He retired early and decided to become a coach to stay connected to hockey. My heart tightens when I give it a thought. He's one of the reasons why I would like to be a sport’s doctor… “My team and I are going to give it our best.” Ethan's voice cuts through my thoughts. My attention shifts to him and I see the fire burning in his eyes. The corner of my lips curls into a smile. I dart my eyes around the open field and my eyes easily finds him. He's kissing a girl, grabbing her arse. 'I hope you're ready, dear brother.' I say in my head, the smile broadening.ELIANA Zoe blows a deep breath and it feels like forever because I have been waiting desperately to get a reaction from her.“You're right.” She says with a small nod but then goes quiet for a second, the corner of her lips tipping up into a smile and there's this look in her eyes which is scaring the shit out of me.“I should be mad at you for keeping everything away from me. I should be mad at you for making me look like a fool because I have been talking to you about staying away from Jackson when you're secretly sleeping with him. I should tell you how terrible of a friend you are. I want to yell at you. I want to scold you. Heavens,I want to kill you but…” She trails off and silence falls over us once again. I can hear my heart pounding wildly against my ribcage, fear clawing at my heart because I have never seen Zoe this way before. I want to run away but my legs feel so heavy that I can't take a step.“I-I can't.” She breathes out, her voice breaking at the end and she looks
ELIANA “Please tell me it's not what I think…” I take a sharp breath, Zoe's words are like a punch in my guts. Slowly, I turn to look at her and it only makes me feel worse.I open my mouth to say something, my lips quivering. Perhaps come up with a lie like I have always done or a cover up story. However, I can't bring myself to utter even a single word.Without a word, I close my lips. I can't lie to her. I know she knows the damn truth. I recall the look in those green eyes in the hallway as she gazed at my messy hair, the hickey on my neck and my wrinkled dress. How she looked at me dead in the eyes like I’m made of glass and she could see through me.How am I supposed to lie to her with a straight face? She knows exactly what happened. It's just that-she doesn't want to believe it. She wants me to convince her that what she saw wasn't true. I really do want to do that. I want to forget about everything. I want to pretend like it never happened but…I simply can't.The silence bet
ELIANA It feels like time has stopped and everything is moving in slow motion. My heart is pounding wildly against my ribcage as if it's about to fly out of my chest the next second. Zoe looks at me, my hair which was neat when I left the kitchen now messy and my wrinkled dress. Her eyes trail slowly to my neck and all the colour on my face drains. She stares at the exact spot where Jax’s mouth was locked a few minutes ago.“Please excuse me. Hello there Zoe,” Jackson says in a calm voice, excusing himself as he fixes his pants. I can't help but wonder how someone can act so casually. Of course I should have expected it…Zoe doesn't respond to him as her eyes are focused on me like she's expecting me to say something. Anything.It's quiet in the hallway as Jackson's footsteps fade away. I can hear my own breathing, my own heartbeat and…I swear to the heavens,I can hear my blood flowing through my veins.My lips are quivering as I open them in a desperate attempt to say something, p
ELIANA “Is everything okay over there?” My mother looks over her shoulders as she shuts the oven when she hears us whispering. “Yes aunt Vicky, everything is fine over here.” Zoe responds, looking in my direction and I flash her a smile… Minutes pass by, my mother is in charge on the stove while Zoe and I help in doing other chores like chopping the onions, tomatoes and anything that she needs help with. We talk about anything and everything, the conversation effortless and full of laughter. Heavens, I have been too busy with senior year, university application that I didn't realise I had missed this moments like this where I forget about the rest of the world, surrounded with loved ones and have a meaningful conversation. Uncle James arrives a few hours later with a bottle of pinot noir and I’m so happy to see him. However, I don't have that much time to talk to him because I’m busy helping mom in the kitchen. _____ My breath catches in my throat when someone pulls me by
ELIANA TWO WEEKS LATER “Come on Eli, you need to wake up,have you forgotten which day it is?” My mom’s soft voice cuts through the quiet air as she walks into the room. A groan escapes my lips, “Give me five.” I complain, opening one eye to peek at her. She walks to the bedside and plants a kiss on my forehead, “You know I love you so much but no, not today.” I make a throaty noise of disapproval. “Okay…Let me freshen up first.” I drag the first word and she laughs wholeheartedly, “That's my sweet girl.” She compliments teasingly, giving me another kiss on the forehead then rises on her feet and walks out of the room. Of course it's thanksgivings and there's no way I would forget about it because it's the first long holiday since schools resumed. Even if I suddenly develop dementia and forget what day it is, my mother would remind me about it because it's her favourite holiday after Christmas. She loves Thanksgiving so much because it brings families together. It's our
ELIANA “The words!” Jax growls, his deep voice cutting through the quiet air on the rooftop and for a split second, I’m afraid that the world would hear us. However, the worry is replaced with a wave of a sharp sting and pleasure when he bites on the sensitive spot on my neck then sucks on it to soothe the sting.Heavens, I never knew that this kind of thing would turn me on this much. A mixture of a sting of pain and pleasure. I know it's crazy. I know damn well that someone in their right mind shouldn't be this turned on. They shouldn't be breathing this heavily and craving for more. They shouldn't be aching for more than they're given. Well…perhaps I’m not that rational the way I thought I was. The way they raised me to be. The way they expected me to be. The way I’m supposed to be because…I like the adrenaline rush that comes with the pain and pleasure. Maybe-a little too much than I’m supposed to.It's…thrilling, exciting and it drives me insane. It makes me want more. It makes
ELIANA THREE DAYS LATER It's quiet inside the kitchen as everyone is focused on his/her plate. I scoop a spoonful of the scrambled egg and sip on my coffee. From across the island table, I can feel his eyes lingering on me. Slowly, I raise my head from the plate to look in his direction and w
ELIANA My phone on the dressing table dings, pulling my mind back to the present and I turn to look at it, a message notification flashing across the dark screen. “Ready?” I gulp when I read the message, not expecting him to text so fast. Slowly, I raise my head to gaze at my reflection in the f
ELIANA The day and time that we have all been anticipating for all kinds of reasons is finally here.I take a deep breath to try and calm my racing heart as I watch the players warm up on the rink. Zoe senses my nervousness and she reaches for my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. I turn my head to
ELIANA I blow a breath when my car finally pulls into the school's lot, parking at my usual spot, then turns off the engine, grabs my backpack from the front passenger seat and alights. I take a moment when I step out of the car, darting my eyes around to take in the surroundings. There's nothing







