Chapter 41:

It took a little while before I settled down enough to actually talk to him, but rather than having him ask, I just decided to start from the beginning. Taking a breath, I curled in against him a little further before I finally started talking. "I'm sure you caught on to a lot of this with my conversation in there, but my mother died when I was five. I don't remember much of her, but I remember that night. I remember our house burning, and that man just simply walking away. He left me there in the dirt and ashes as I watched the only home I had ever known burn to the ground. When he left, I thought he was just going to get help, but then no one came. The house burnt to the ground as I watched, waiting for him to come back, for anyone to come help, but it never happened. I don't remember him even saying a single word to me before he was just gone." I took a breath, pausing for a moment, but he just pulled me in a little tighter. Leaning down to press a kiss to my forehead, as he took a deep breath of his own. 

"I should have put that knife between his fucking eyes. You shouldn't have ever been left like that, princess." I couldn't help the slight smile that curved my lips as my fingers dug into the leather plating across the back of his vest, gripping onto him like my life depended on it. "How long was it before they took you in?" He asked quietly as he rested his cheek on top of my head, and I closed my eyes, enjoying every single second of his hold on me. 

"I honestly don't know. I don't remember, but it had to have been days. All I remember is waking up there one day. The mother of the family that fostered me would give me a list of chores in the morning, and they had to be done before I could eat that night. That's just how I've lived since. It's not like it was the most horrible thing. I mean, at least I had a bed and food most of the time."

"Doing the bare minimum to keep someone alive isn't good either." 

"No, but it's just how things work around here. It's not like I could have gotten much better. You, of all people, know how girls are treated in villages like these, especially someone like me. So I'd still take what they gave me over that life." 

He just nodded before taking a moment to think. I didn't mind, though. I was more than happy to just lean into him. I would be more than happy to just curl up there and stay for as long as he would let me. 

"You know that you don't actually have to answer my questions, right? I'd never force you to do something like that unless I had no other choice, Ari." He murmured to me, and I just smiled once more. I knew that already. He's never pushed me like that; it was the only reason that I actually felt safe talking to him like this. 

I nodded slightly against him. "I know, Xavier. There are a few lines that I know you wouldn't cross, and that's one of them. Thank you for that, by the way." I whispered back before moving. I didn't care anymore right now; I needed more contact with him. I carefully pulled back just a little, just enough to unbutton one of the top buttons of his chest armor. 

He moved, looking down to see what I was doing before pressing another kiss to the top of my head. "Hold on a second, princess." With that, he pulled back from me just enough that he could unbuckle both his swords, dropping them into the grass behind us before removing his armor entirely, laying it with his blades, leaving him in just his short-sleeved undershirt. "Better?" He asked, and I just nodded as I wrapped my arms back around him, fisting my hands into the material of his shirt as I lay my cheek against the center of his chest. His heart was pounding against me. Did I have him this worried? "If you don't want to answer this one, I understand, Ari, but I just figured I should ask now rather than later. What happened with Jaxon to make you so scared of him? You only explained the bare minimum before." 

I took a sharp breath; just that damn name brought up so many bad memories, but if this was ever actually going to go anywhere, then he deserved to know exactly what he was getting into. How damaged I really was... I buried my face into his shoulder once more, using him to calm my reaction.  I was safe. I was with Xavier, not him. He wasn't holding me down. He wasn't forcing me into anything. I could leave if I wanted to. I wasn't trapped here. I repeated to myself as he just sat there with me. He wasn't pushing in any way, just simply comforting me. 

Taking a breath, I savored his warm, spiced scent, letting it calm me a little further before I simply let it all out. "It all started when I was fourteen. The family had sent me to pick something up from town, and he saw me. It actually started out nice. He worked at the bakery and would give me an extra loaf of bread or some leftover scraps to eat. He's two years older than me, so he already had his familiar, and everything, so I thought it was kinda neat. I was young and stupid, but he was the only person in the village who actually wanted to interact with me, so I clung to it. By the time things took a turn, I was already in too far over my head to get out. It was slow, but he started wanting favors for the things he would normally just give me. It started small, but if I refused..." My breath caught in my chest as his punishments passed through my mind. 

Xavier pulled back slightly, just enough to press a soft kiss to my forehead. It stopped my mind from racing for just a moment, but it was long enough for me to pull myself back into reality. I was safe here.

"He would punish me." It was barely a whisper, but his reaction told me he had heard it. His hand started to slowly glide up and down my back as I continued. "He would beat me or do anything he could to hurt me. When I tried to avoid him, he would just come to the house and get me. He paid the family for my time, so of course, they would always let him in, no matter what I said. It escalated to the point that I didn't have a choice in the matter at all. He just started punishing me just to do it, and eventually beating me wasn't enough, so he turned to using me instead. It lasted for four years until he finally moved away." I finished, hating the fact that just the memories still had me trembling like this. 

He didn't say anything for a long moment. Instead, he just simply held me there. Gently tracing his fingers up and down my back in a soothing pattern that had me slowly relaxing into him once more. 

"Didn't Nova help you?" 

I nodded to him once more. "She tried, but he would hurt her too. She was too small to really do much against a full-grown man and wolf. They had almost killed her on several occasions for trying to protect me." 

"You won't ever have to deal with anything like that ever again, princess. If he ever so much as even thinks about touching you, ever again, I'll make sure he's begging for death before it actually comes. I'd be dead before I let anyone hurt you like that again. There's a good reason that no one fucks with something of mine." I couldn't help the small smile that tipped my lips. No one had ever actually cared enough about me to protect me like that, and with him, I knew without a doubt that if I said so much as a word about it he would probably do it unprovoked even. That's just who he was. It's why I found myself trusting this man so easily. 

I trusted that he would take care of me, granted it might not always be the most gentle or kind, but he's already shown that he would. It's all he's ever done since the moment we met. The second I had walked into that office with him, absolutely terrified of this man, he was already protecting me. I could see it now. He had pulled me up there just so I wouldn't be alone with any of the other students without Nova. He's trained me, every single day that I've been capable of doing so without fail and without complaint. 

While he hadn't been the nicest about it in the beginning, he had still taken care of me in every single way he possibly could have. Even today, he defended me while still allowing me to get everything I needed to say out in the open. He hadn't stopped me, or even so much as spoken over me once in there. No, no matter how pissed he was, he had waited for me to be done before taking over just to finish driving my father away. That alone was far more respect than anyone else has ever shown me.