Chapter 24 – Lance I would’ve never thought I would learn so much from Jayler Mendoza today. Posing as his uncle made that possible and the school head, a nun in her early 60’s, was kind enough to tell me about the good things about Jayler. She’s of course undeniably pissed that Jayler’s actions might bring a bad reputation to the school hence the reason why she was thinking of kicking him out of the school. Thankfully, I told her that the photos were already deleted from the internet and I had to explain to her that no one would recognize Jayler and that he’s not even wearing their school uniform to begin with. We had a strong back and forth and me, immediately understanding Sister Salvador’s concerns right at the moment, I was able to easily appease her. In the end, she confessed to me that Jayler has not been a problem to the school and it was literally his saving grace. He’s always present at every class, he always had excellent grades and he’s very much well-mannered. Sister Salv
Chapter 25 – Lance “What?” Jayler asked as if he didn’t hear me when my voice was loud enough for him to hear even though we are standing at an open street. “I said do you want to hang out at my place?” I rephrased what I said and this time I made my voice even more louder. I’m really feeling bad for this guy. He was thrown into this crazy mess by someone who doesn’t know how to ask permission if it’s okay to post photos on social media. If anything, he was just a victim of the unlucky circumstances and he was paying greatly for something that’s not even his fault. He just wanted to have fun. “For real?” Jayler’s voice lightened up. “Yeah.” I nodded and smiled at him. I’m feeling my heart flatter, it’s like I’m doing something right for someone I don’t even know that well. “I mean, if you don’t have anywhere else to go then my place is very much open for you.” I offered my place since I’m always alone anyway and being alone really sucks most of the time. I could use someone to talk
Chapter 26 – Lance It was really unexpected in a sense and yet it was greatly nice to have an open conversation about sexuality with Jayler. I had never expected him to be very accepting and cool with it. I had a keen sense that he’d be comfortable and cool with it and dropping my bisexuality in such a casual way was just the right mood. It made me happy that I don’t have to hide this truth from him. I don’t know but it just made me adore him even more. “What do you want for lunch? Pizza? Chicken wings? Chinese? Thai?” I began asking Jayler what are we are having for lunch. We just got here less than an hour ago but I’m already starving as fuck. “Anything.” He replied dryly. Apparently, he was pre-occupied by the paintings and posters hanged on the walls. “I want specifics, kiddo.” I pressed on knowing that I have to get a direct answer from him. I don’t want anything as an answer because what if he has some allergies or he doesn’t like this and that shit. “Pizza and wings, I gues
Chapter 27 – Jayler I just got home after a day filled with anxiety and gratitude and I am feeling a lot of different things all at once. Disappointment. Joy. Confusion. Exhaustion. I don’t know what else is there but I’m feeling everything all at once. This isn’t the first time that I’m feeling a burst of different emotions all clashing at once but this is the first time that I feel like I’m about to explode. It is quite overwhelming on the inside. It has been quite a long day and I needed some time to rest and get all of my thoughts together. I was thinking of immediately retreating back to my room but then the day haven’t ended quite yet. Much to my dismay, I had to face one last obstacle before I could even rest on my beloved bed. I had dinner with my family and as usual, I had to whip out my good boy act right in front of my parents and considering the fact that I had an emotionally long and exhausting day, I think I did pretty decent. I should probably win an acting award becau
Chapter 28 – Jayler I sat at the very edge of my bed deeply in thought. I was under the impression that I can finally rest but then I can’t deny the lingering reality that my brain’s still running its gears. Perhaps I feel disappointed because I thought I’d get away with this mess perfectly unscathed. I was dead ass wrong on that. It sucks that I have to be suspended for a whole damn week and that I have to do a month of service for the school when this isn’t entirely my fault. It’s basically a whole month of detention except I have to do some work and I don’t even know kind of work I have to do. Cleaning toilets? Carrying books at the library? Dusting off the windows? I can only imagine. While I do understand why Sister Salvador ended up with this decision, I am still distressed because it felt like it’s way too much. I know it’s basically a way to teach me some sort of lesson and it’s fair from their point of view. It’s quite fair. The only thing that’s making it unfair on my end
Chapter 29 – Jayler Lance grabbed a small stool for support as I stepped back to let him do his whole thing. I sat at the backrest of the couch arms crossed on my chest as I inquisitively watched him flipped the pages of the notebook. I guess he’s looking for a specific song because I could see his mind turning. “What should I sing?” He muttered almost inaudibly. He mutters a few words but then the look on his face make it seem like he’s not confident. He continued flipping, stopping every once in a while to see the song before eventually flipping it to the next page. “Oh, wait.” There seemed to be light bulb lit up inside his head. He closed the notebook, laid down the guitar with such delicate care before eventually going back inside his room. I followed him and this was the first time I’m going inside his bedroom. “What are you looking for?” I asked as he went to this cabinet and began looking for something. “I have written lots of songs before.” He replied. “I’m trying to look
Chapter 30 – Lance To sing the song that I’ve written years and years ago felt appropriately nostalgic and I’m feeling some sort of unwarranted excitement mixed with it, however there’s also a drizzle of anguish there. Just drizzle that’s quite good enough to make my head space out and travel my way back to when I was writing the song. I was heartbroken during this time and although I’ve been heart-broken before that, it was never about a romantic love. I wrote the song Bulletproof right after high school, right after I realized that Dominic had a tunnel vision for the one and only Valentine. I could still recall that specific moment when Dominic broke Valentine’s heart during our prom—it was emotionally anguishing to see them both run out of the gymnasium with genuine tears cascading down their cheeks. I would’ve pulled Dominic aside but I had already realized that he would never see me as something special. I tried to keep my cool even though deep inside I was falling to pieces. I h
Chapter 31 – Lance I wouldn’t say my passion had died out but I have to admit the fact that it had retrograded to nothing but a dying ember. Through the years, I gradually lost the urge and the impulse to write and actually finish a song. I forgot the reason why am I writing a song in the first place and I have no one else to blame but myself. Most of the time, I feel like an old and dilapidated guitar with some really old crusty strings that creates noise instead of melody. Perhaps that’s the whole reason as to why I have only started to write a few songs here and there but I’ve never really reached the point of completing any of them. I just write one song and then I will find myself losing grip of the inspiration and completely forgetting the reason why I’m writing it in the first place. And then I would eventually find myself writing another one subconsciously leaving the last one to rot. The cycle just goes like that and it repeats like a broken record. Singing my original song