He stepped inside and stuck a smile on his face while he placed the flowers where she could see them, but not reach them. “Hey Kara, how are you doing?” He asked lightly, but stopped when he saw the expression on her face. “Kara?”
“Leave me alone…. I just want to die…” She mumbled without moving her eyes from the blank stare she aimed at the wall.
“Kara, you don’t want to die.” He stated softly while he sat down in the chair. The expression on her face was frightening. “You didn’t give the doctor a chance to give you the good news.”
Matthew was miserable. He longed to see her, but he realized that showing up might make her fall back into her depression if she really thought that he was the reason for her state of health.And in truth she was right. If he had not walked into that water and kissed her like he had, he would not have scared her and she would not have ridden her horse so hard. It was his fault entirely.He had noticed his foreman watching him and he knew he looked horrible, but he could not get himself to care. He was depressed at his role in her accident and though he longed to correct it he knew he could not face her with the knowledge he had. And what right did he have after what he had done to her.The doctor had called him a few times and asked him when he would visit again, but he kept coming up with excuses. A few nurses had even phoned to ask if he would be coming in, but he would have an excuse ready. He could not face her accus
Long before she was ready to go home, the doctor told her it was time to face the world. Kara had pleaded, threatened and cried, but Dr. Smithson was adamant. In the end she had to go home in the wheelchair.She had wanted to be able to walk before she set foot on her ranch again, but the physiotherapist insisted that she was expecting too much at once. She feared that she would lose more men if she showed up in a wheelchair. What would she do if more men left? She could not pick up the slack in her condition at this point and she had no intention of losing the ranch.Kara was nervous on the day that she was supposed to go home, but Dr. Smithson insisted that he had done all the necessary planning and that her ride home would soon be there. Kara had packed her own bag and was restlessly rolling the wheelchair around the room, impatient and worried at the same time.Suddenly, she saw a movement out of the corner of
The room felt suddenly so empty and lonely. With a sigh, Kara rolled over to the bag and started to unpack. When she was finished, she decided to explore the house, since she would live here for the next – how long would she stay here? Indefinitely? Pushing the worried thoughts aside in a bid to keep herself calm, she rolled down the hallway and started at the closed door farthest down the hall.This was a bedroom with blue and silver coloring. It clearly had been finished and the painting that hung against the wall above the chest of drawers was also one of his. It was a still of blue flowers in a silver pitcher; some of the petals had fallen and was lying around the pitcher on the wooden table. Why had he not decided to make this her room? Was it to have her close for emergencies or was it because he did not want her in the room? She left quietly, afraid to disturb the calm of the room, and closed the door so
Matthew stared after him while he rode away across country on his horse, wondering why the man had left so quickly when he had come into the house. He felt Kara’s eyes on him and he turned to face her. She looked like she wanted to say something and then changed her mind. Shaking her head to herself, she turned her wheelchair and went to her room.Matthew was not sure what to do until he walked past her room and stopped when he saw her do the exercises the physiotherapist had explained to him and stepped inside to help with the massaging he had been shown. Kara glanced up in shock as he came up to the bed and sat down to wait for her to finish the training.Kara felt a blush rise when she felt his eyes on her. And even more so, when he started doing the massages on her legs, starting at the calves and slowly working his way up to her thighs. Where had he learned the correct massages? She had not known who would help
It was after this month that she awoke early one morning. It was still dark outside, but she could not sleep anymore, so she did some of the exercises and then got bored with them. The house was still quiet and she did not want to wake Matthew by rolling her wheelchair out of her room since he was a light sleeper from what she had noted in the month she had been in his house, but she did not want to stay in bed anymore. She despised the wheelchair and she glanced at the sturdy post of the bed.With a faint smile and endless determination, she pulled herself upright and threw her legs over the edge. Bracing herself with the post, she put some weight on her legs and when she felt no pain or trembling, she pushed herself to stand. When she was standing up straight she gave a victorious smile. Soon she would walk again; she felt stronger in her legs and that made her want to push herself a little more.Then she pushed her one leg forward
Matthew reached over without letting her go and tore off some toilet paper and handed it to her. Her tears were breaking his heart. He had seen how hard she had worked, even if she had thought he did not and he was relieved to know that she was finally releasing the emotions and tensions she had held onto so strongly the last few months. He had worried that the emotions she held in would cause her even more harm than what she had already gone through, but now he knew she had allowed herself to work through her emotions.When she was finally cried out she was still holding onto his shoulders, even though her breathing had grown regular. She had cried herself to sleep in his arms. Quietly he lifted her and walked back down the hallway. Without thinking he walked back to her room and lay down so he could let her rest next to him. Her grip eased somewhat when he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him.Matthew
Matthew awoke with confusion. He was not in his bed. Then he remembered what had happened early that morning. Kara was not in bed anymore and the cold bedding where she had lain proved that she had not been for a while. He was surprised that he’d slept through her sneaking out, but he had been exhausted and overworked with the start of the growing season’s preparations.When he lifted his head to glance around the room, he caught a whiff of something familiar. Then he smiled with pleasure. Was that blueberry pancakes? He stood up and pushed his fingers through his hair and went to the bathroom to wash his face, before he went to investigate.He came into the kitchen to find Kara sitting on the counter with the bowl of dough in her lap while she flipped the pancake over in the pan. There was flour in her hair and her face was pale with the same, a smudge of dough over her cheek. Her feet and toes were mov
Kara felt her heart pound with fear when they approached the horse that was standing ready for them. Her hands were trembling as she looked at the animal that suddenly terrified her. She gasped when Matthew lifted her out of the chair and into the saddle, where he and Bill held her firmly, while they tightened straps around her legs, checking to be sure they were not too tight.She gasped in fear when the horse stamped its foot to ward of a fly, getting flashbacks from that night. “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.” She whispered with a trembling voice and the two men felt their hearts go out to her.They knew what fear could do to a person. And her injuries had kept them from helping her to conquer her fears after the accident. They also knew that they had to get her back in the saddle or she would let fear reign her life and she had loved riding before the accident.“I’m here.” Mat