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Chapter 56
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A year and half Chapter 57
I wished there was a way to turn off everything I felt. The pain, the sadness, the anger, the hurt, the exhaustion. I dragged in a deep breath, eyes filled with so many tears that they blurred my vision. So this was what it felt like to trust someone and then have them break that trust. When Isabella said 'giving your trust to someone meant handing them a dagger to stab you', I didn't understand what she meant, but now, sitting here in utter pain and disdain, I realized her words couldn't have been truer because It felt like a dagger had been jabbed straight into my chest. "Hope," Killian called out to me, his breathing quick and shallow. It was like a haze lifted from his eyes and he could vividly see the damage he'd done to me. "Baby..." He extended his hand to touch me."Don't..." I begged, clutching the sheets closer to my body. "Don't...Touch me, please." "Alright, I won't baby. I'm sorry baby. I got carried away." He implored, his eyes pleading with me as a myriad of emot
A year and half Chapter 58
Killian When Hope left me, time stilled. I didn't move. I stood there, staring at the front door with my heart beating at what seemed like a million miles an hour. She was going to come back to me. There was no way she could leave me. She said she wouldn't. She said she loved me, didn't she?Adamant, I stood there, my mind searching fruitlessly for reasons why she wouldn't possibly leave me. I convinced my heart that It didn't need to hurt yet because she was going to show up. But as time continued to pass almost audibly, I realized two things; I was wrong and Hope was gone.She was gone. And I let her go. I fucking let her go. There was a relentless beating of my blood around my body. My lungs burned and I wanted to scream. I let her go because she asked me to. Because she said if I cared about her, I would. I did. She was precious to me. I cared about her. No, I more than cared, it was more than just caring. My heart slammed against my ribs and I sucked in a breath. I loved her
A year and half Chapter 59
I always thought I was doomed by not being able to fall In love, but once I did fall, I wished I hadn't because the last two women I ever loved left me in a blur of rapid emotions; pain, regret, heartache, exhaustion, and most dominate of all, anger. It had been four weeks since Hope left me. Three since I camped in front of her house and begged for a chance to start over but got beaten up again by Scott.Two since I decided to follow Brad's advice and visit her workplace with flowers and chocolates and a lot of fucked up shit just to apologize but still got rejected and reminded I was one step away from a restraining order.And finally, one since I decided that..."Mr. Fobster?"I snapped back from my reverie and looked up from the white screen I'd stared so long at that my eyes burned.Cleo walked in, holding the photocopies I'd asked for-or rather- yelled for. Don't blame me. The anger that I'd been carrying around for these past weeks was physically draining and she just so see
A year and half Chapter 60
HopeI still didn't know how I'd managed to live through my 31-day post-Killian syndrome but for the past four weeks, everything hurt. Fast forward to two weeks back when I had decided to move out of my mum's house.I tried not to be bitter about how easily she had forgiven Killian and asked me to go back to him. I couldn't blame her for it. She'd always been conversational and believed a woman ought to remain with her husband at all times.I wondered if that ideology would've changed if I had explained to her how he'd slapped my bottom so hard and wicked that they were sore for weeks. God, I should hate him, but the truth was, I didn't. I couldn't, not with the way he occupied my thoughts. I couldn't even escape him in my dreams. Torturous memories flashed through my mind every night and it didn't help that I'd forgotten my vibrators back at his place. Nonetheless, I knew I still loved him more than he was capable of ever loving me back and a lopsided relationship would destroy m
A year and half Chapter 61
Hope"Of course, he's going to be there." Lesley's voice rang through the cell phone's speaker. "Why else would his mother invite you.""I don't know." I shook my head, glancing from the phone that was sitting on my bed to my reflection in the mirror. The dress was a nice fit and gave me a presentable shape even though my seven months old belly protruded forward. "What are you going to do when you see him?"Lesley's question made me pause. Since last night, my body vibrated with tension over the thought of seeing Killian again but now that I thought about it, what the hell was I supposed to do when I saw the father of my child who claimed he loved me but nearly exterminated me in bed?I shook the unwanted memory away. If I wanted to be logical I would've returned to him a long time ago because having a baby alone was terrifying and being pregnant with a broken heart was worse. But I didn't want to be logical. I wanted to be emotional and selfish. I was simply going to—"You're go
A year and half Chapter 62
Killian I'd spent the better part of my morning clearing the piled-up stacks of documents on my desk. The other part consisted of planning a date that put me in a royally pissed mood because nothing was going the way I wanted it to. What the fuck was I thinking when I'd said that in the first place?I had rehearsed last night a thousand times since my conversation with my mother. What I'd say to her, how I'd make my plea. And I thought I'd figured it out but then this happened and I had only a few hours to plan the perfect date. That woman was going to be the death of me; I just knew it.I took off my glasses and tossed them on my desk. My mind was trying to narrow down a plan but nothing fit, nothing fucking fit. I scrubbed my hands over my face and I inhaled a deep breath before pressing the intercom button. "Cleo?"I waited for her to reply or at least walk into my office but when nothing happened after a minute, I pressed it again. "Cleo?"Another minute passed. Was it so impo
A year and half Chapter 63
HopeI stood in front of the large mirror on the wall and smoothened my dress over my bump. As much as I would've loved to lay down in my bed and cry my feelings away all night, I still had an evening with Killian Fobster to get through first. For some last-minute adjustments, I applied eyeliner and pinched my cheeks, satisfied with my look. I took in a deep breath and flitted back into the bedroom in search of my shoes. That was when a knock sounded on my door. It had to be Killian.My nervousness topped up a notch. I quickly kicked the pizza wrapping underneath the couch and padded barefoot towards the door, trying not to show entrepreneurial oomph.When I opened it, his dark eyes caressed me, gliding from my head to my toes before lingering back on my face. "Can I come in?"I blinked away the hotness I felt and immediately released the door handle for him to step in."You're here a little earlier than I expected, I'm not done getting ready yet," I told him, watching as he looke
A year and half Chapter 64
HopeAfter dinner, Killian and I walked the beach a while in comfortable silence, watching the scanty crowd. Life here seemed so different, so surreal, carefree, easy. "Everyone here seems happy. It's amazing.""If you like it so much, we could always relocate."I snapped my head to look at him. He shrugged. "It'll be a good chance to get away from everything. There are lots of free rooms, we could maybe make one into a nursery." I released my breath in a soft sigh. "Killian, stop saying things like that."He chuckled softly. "I mean it. You're the only woman I've ever brought here, that's because you mean a lot to me.""Not even Megan?" I wanted to suck the words back in the second they slipped out because he stared at me with an emotion that choked me. "On second thought, don't answer that," I said quickly and looked away from him. "Not even her." His words sent a flutter to my belly. "Really?"He smiled. "Let's find somewhere to sit, your feet must hurt."They did. I nodded an
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