Chapter 07 Rejects

Hanna

I bravely put on a smile. Not too big as if I’m happy. Not too small as if it doesn’t bother me. But one of genuine understanding. Because, no matter how angry and resentful I am, I do care about the bond. I’ve fantasized about being bonded when I was but a girl.

It’s not right no matter how I look at it. But that is from my perspective.

Anyone else looking in can clearly tell that Marigold truly loves him. She’s always been there for him for as long as I can remember. Always waiting on him, taking care of him, and cheering him on.

Every Evergreen wolf knows of her dedication towards him since a young age, and some have openly expressed their expectations of Logan taking her as his mate. She’s been teased as the future Luna of the pack since she was a teen, when she was still blossoming into the beauty that she is today. And as cherry on top, she’s the sole daughter of the late Beta.

Logan isn’t supposed to be hers. The goddess herself has decreed him mine, but they truly deserve each other. Therapy has taught me I should accept this fact and carry on with my life. They hurt me. Regardless of their intentions, they are happy. And I can’t let them keep hurting me. I should also move forward and be happy. I owe it to myself, to dad, to Esme, and to Dean. I owe it to the girl who was hurt so much she left everything she ever knew without turning back once.

“It wasn’t a rejection, Hanna,” he insists. “I waited five years for you.”

His voice nearly cracks. And for a moment, I was willing to believe him.

Don’t waver.

Some things matter more than the bond.

Logan leans in, slowly, and rests his forehead on mine. His eyes are closed, his chest expands with every deep inhale, and the sensations between us become stronger than moments ago.

Too close. Enough to make me wary of him, including his warm, earthy scent that fills my lungs with every shaky breath. Close enough for his lips to touch mine.

“I don’t want to,” he murmurs, his warm minty breath brushing across my face.

It’s like my beast wants to crawl its way out of me. If only it could, it’d tear my flesh apart and break free.

My reply is spoken faintly amidst the internal struggle. “Then I’ll do it for you.”

My heart protests. Something within me mourns what I’m about to do. It feels like I’ll lose an important part of me forever, but I know it’s where my freedom is held captive.

And I need my freedom to move forward. No strings attached. Not to Logan. Not to the Evergreen Pack. Just me, Esme, my dad, and Dean. Back in Naila City, together, as a family. Looking after each other as family should.

I begin the ritual.

“Alpha Logan Greene of the Evergreen Pack–”

“Don’t.”

“We were brought together by the goddess, but our hearts belong not to each other.”

“Hanna.”

He growls. A warning. His hold on my chin tightens as if to prevent me from speaking further, but I press on.

“My heart rejects our bond. I, Hanna Wells of the Evergreen Pack, humbly requests for your heart to do the same.”

It truly feels like something sacred is about to break. Those electrifying sensations are going haywire, it’s almost too painful. This looming sense of loss is incomparable to when I left the pack.

Logan takes a step back. He looks so out of it, too. His usual confident demeanor has crashed into one of sorrow, like he’s about to lose someone he cherishes. But I can’t let it deter me. This is simply the workings of our mate bond doing everything it can to keep us together.

It’s a lie. I have to believe that it is. Because my heart is literally on the line.

They say that for our kind, to lose a mate is like losing half of our soul. Facing him like this while I say these words, I now understand what they meant.

It’s painful. It’s regrettable.

We could’ve been so much more had he chosen me from the start.

We could’ve been a family.

“Don’t do this, Hanna.”

Tears brim my eyes from an unspoken cry.

His face leans closer again, and memories of our first night flashes through my mind. It had felt so perfect back then. So right despite the initial fear. We were one for a night, then within a fortnight, we were apart. I missed this face—one that shows he cares—but I’ve made my resolve. I have to let go.

“Do–”

­Do you accept?

The question never leaves my mouth. It’s sealed with lips so soft butterflies erupt in my belly. It’s like our first kiss all over again when he gently lays a hand on the small of my back and pulls me flush to him while his warm palm cups my cheek.

My lips part on their own, and he takes the initiative in deepening the kiss. He leads me slowly yet so full of passion as if he’s afraid I might run and disappear.

But where would I go when being in his arms feels like my place?

Those painful thoughts leave me like they’ve never been there, and all I can think of is how this is real. He tastes like the forbidden fruit, but it’s mine to partake, and he smells like I’ve known him from that night. From when I’ve cried his name in a voice I’ve never known existed and our bodies moved in ways known only to us, the skies the witness to our immature love and naïve promises.

I return his passion with equal fervor, my arms throwing themselves around his neck and pulling him down to me. Logan smiles and so do I.

It’s just so perfect—him and I.

But I’m once again slammed from the peak into the deepest depths of disillusion when Dean’s surprised voice catches me off guard.

“Hanna?” he says weakly.

At the same time, a crash echoes throughout the house.

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