SophiaThe ocean waves crash in and out of the shore of the lake and I watch them rip in and out in time with the setting sun behind me. I can hear Gavin approaching from behind me as well, and the warmth his presence brings me covers my unheated skin. I only wear a shawl over my slender shoulders and the light sundress I wear tonight isn’t warding off the chill the wind brings in as the sun sets.“Hey, Beautiful. I was looking for you.” I hear his voice first, smooth as velvet to my ears.Gavin pulls me gently into his chest and into his warm embrace. I sag against him and tip my face up to see the stormy blue gray eyes I’ve come to memorize since I’ve known him.“I missed you. Are you feeling okay?”I turn fully into his embrace and rest my chin on his collarbone as I blink up at him.“Yes. Where were you?”His eyes narrow and just now do I realize he is shirtless and there is a small inked design across his right shoulder. I move a step back and read it carefully.Never Forget,T
I wake just like before except now I feel Gavin’s smooth hand along my back and his muffled voice telling me I’m safe now. What he doesn’t know is that I’m not afraid because of Bryce or what he put me through. I’m afraid that I’ll never get the chance to love a child the way I know I would have loved our baby. I move my head to the crook of his neck and inhale his musky smell. I love his smell and if I close my eyes, I can remember every time he’s held me like this. I wish to God it was enough to fill the gaping hole inside of me.“I dreamed of her,” I whisper. It feels as if a secret is told through those words, but I have to say it.He deserves the whole truth of what I’m feeling. No less.Gavin leans away slightly at my words and I see the stark pain in his stormy eyes.“I would have named her Tessa Lynn. After your grandmother. She had your brown hair and my green eyes and she was so beautiful, Gavin. She was our baby.”Thick tears fill his eyes as he nods. My breath leaves me,
I lie in the hospital bed and will myself to go outside of this room and beg Gavin to come back. To hold me. To be with me. But in my heart, even with how painful it is, I know if I do that, I’ll only hurt him. I have to find a way to heal on my own and then maybe, just maybe, we can be what we used to be. When I can look at his face and see the love and contentment he’s brought out in me. When I won’t see everything we’ve lost. Everything I lost. One thing I’m thankful for is that it seems I’ve cried all the tears I can musterand maybe that’s a good thing. I curl into the lumpy mattress beneath me and close my eyes to sleep. I lie eyes closed, feet burrowed into the sheets and will a deep sleep to find me. But I can’t seem to fallback into the darkness. I hear a faint knock on the door and see the young and tired looking face of Nurse Maggie pop inside my room. She smiles gently, for sure she must know what happened and the sympathy or pity on her face is almost too much to see
Somewhere deep inside me I’m asking the same question she probably asked herself back over a year ago. Is the loss, the pain all I can feel now? Or can I still let love into my heart from those around me?“I came as soon as I got off the plane, Sweetheart. How are you feeling?”She sits beside me and wraps an arm around my back, supporting my weight.“I feel so lost, Mom. I lost… I was pregnant.” The words seem inadequate to describe the enormity of what I, what Gavin and I lost and I have to force myself to breathe once I’ve said the painful truth I still can’t fathom. My mom’s wide eyes fill with understanding as she nods and before I know it, I’m engulfed in her warm arms. The tears come and this time I don’t stop them. My cries are muffled into her black and gray blouse and she coos reassuring words like it’ll be okay and I’m here for you. Somehow, I hope she’s right. The emotion erupts from the deepest parts inside me and my mother’s arms feel like the only thing holding me up
Three Months LaterGavinI close the door softly to my bedroom and walk towards the bed to see my younger sister curled up like a cat in the middle of it. She has started coming over more and more ever since Sophia was let out of the hospital, almost as if she thinks that if she isn’t here to watch me I’ll run over to Kel and Lucas’ and beg her to see me. Has it crossed my mind, yes but she asked me for time. I’d hoped that after a few days, I could convince her to come home so we could work on us. So we could be what we were only a few short months ago. Happy. In love. Free from the weight of the past, both hers and mine. But except for three chance meetings where I got to see my Sophia, she’s refused to see me. Lucas told me she is putting all her focus into the ballet show she’d auditioned for back in June. I’m so happy she’s found a way to fill her passion that drew me right to her when we first met. But it feels worse knowing that I can’t be there to see her perform, to see
I smile at her note and tuck it under my arm before carefully sitting down in the front seat. The white flow dress I wore for Lena’s last scene is made of a mixture of loose satin material for the skirt and thin lace covering my torso. It’s gorgeous and if I tear it I’m sure the theater will have my neck. It must cost more than my paycheck is worth. Once I’m sure it won’t tear from how I’m sitting, I put the car into drive.I am ready to take back my life. I’m ready to heal. As that thought sticks in my mind, I turn around towards the east end of the city, knowing there is one thing I have to do.I pull up to Marley’s Cove and pull the key from the ignition. I don’t know how I found myself here, but here I am. I remember when Gavin brought me, it was technically our first date because the day we met, I wasn’t sure if I even wanted him to come to the party my sister sneakily invited him to. But he showed up and afterwards he brought me here. I remember this place being the first pla
Gavin“Is it too late to ask you to spend forever loving me, Gavin? Will you make breakfast for me every day for the rest of our lives? Will you love me again?”Her goddamn beautiful emerald green eyes are like two stones of the finest riches. They cloud with love and fear and hope and it fills my heart to hear her say those words.I never stopped loving you, Sophia Georgia Jones. I never will.I drop to my knees in front of her and clasp her waist tightly in my hands as I look up in the brightest green eyes I’ve ever seen. This is the moment I’ve waited so long for. Why is she here? Are we truly healed? Christ, is it even possible to heal from this? I don’t know the answer to any of that, but this, right here, her, she is here. That’s all that matters to me. Her and the love shining through her eyes.“You never have to ask me to love you, Beautiful. You are my everything and I don’t want to eat breakfast without you again. I don’t want to wake up before dawn without you. I don’t wa
SophiaI slide my eyes open the very moment I feel strong arms tighten around my back, warm breath against my cheek and a contented sigh coming from my lips. I am momentarily confused, wondering where the hell I am. But then I catch the scent of mint and musky man that can only be mistaken for one man. The memories, sweet, sweet memories of last night come flooding back and I can’t stop myself from turning into Gavin’s strong embrace and burying my face into my favorite spot, just below his jaw. I feel his heartbeat under my lips as I kiss his neck and that makes this morning feel much less like a dream. God, how many times had I dreamed of waking up in our bed, seeing Gavin lying across the pillows with one arm slung over his head? I’d noticed it was how he would sleep most nights. Damn, even that turned me on about him. I feel his body stiffen a bit next to me and then he wraps one hand around my nape and pulls me fractionally closer.“You’re here.”I smile, though his eyes are s