Chapter 4

The next morning, Julian spread the treatment records, his Europe itinerary, and the travel expense reports across the dining table.

"Lena and I never lived together. Those photos were taken during breaks between Robert's treatments. He wanted to see the snow."

As if on cue, one of those photos appeared in a notification on my phone. Lena stood beneath a snow-covered mountain with her arm linked through her mother's. Robert sat in a wheelchair, and Julian stood beside them. There was nothing romantic about the photo, yet the four of them looked like a family.

I locked my phone. "How is Robert doing?"

"Stable for now. That's why I came back."

"That's good."

"Is that all you want to ask?"

"Yes."

"You're not upset?"

"I believe you when you say you didn't get back together."

"Then why are you still acting like this?"

He didn't say whether he meant my coldness or my indifference.

I picked up my bag. "I have to get to work."

As I passed him, he grabbed my wrist.

"I didn't come back so we could keep avoiding each other. I want things to go back to normal."

"What's normal for us?"

He didn't answer. Normal wasn't having breakfast together, driving each other to and from work, or going back to sleeping in the same bed. Normal should have meant that when I called him eleven times from the ER, he would at least have turned around and looked at me.

I pulled my hand free. "Don't start with the small everyday things."

"Then where do I start?"

The rift between us couldn't be smoothed over with a simple "let's start fresh." Just being in the same room with him made me feel awkward and suffocated, so disappointed that even arguing felt like too much work. That evening, he went into the kitchen for the first time. The next morning, I woke to the smell of fried eggs and coffee, and I saw that the guest room had been made up with fresh sheets.