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Mixed feelings

Penulis: Divine Lucifer
last update Terakhir Diperbarui: 2024-11-21 16:06:43

As we finish our meals, the conversation continues to flow, each word building a bridge between our worlds. I find myself leaning in closer, captivated not just by what Luca is saying, but by the way he speaks, the passion in his voice, the way his eyes light up when he talks about his dreams. It’s infectious.

“So, what’s your dream film about?” I ask, genuinely curious.

He pauses for a moment, his fork hovering over his plate. “It’s about a kid who feels lost in the world, trapped in the expectations of his family and society. He discovers a hidden passion for art, and through that, he learns to break free and express himself.”

“Wow, that sounds incredible,” I say, nodding enthusiastically. “That resonates with me. It’s like you’re telling your own story.”

He smiles. “In a way, yes. I think a lot of us feel that pressure, don’t we?”

“Definitely. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever find my own voice, or if I’m just meant to follow the path laid out for me,” I confess, feeling a wave of vulnerability wash over me.

“That’s the struggle, isn’t it? It’s hard to break away from what everyone expects,” he replies, and I can see the empathy in his eyes.

As the conversation deepens, I feel an urge to reach across the table, to close the gap between us physically. But I hold back, reminding myself to respect his space. Still, the air crackles with unspoken tension, and I can’t ignore the way my heart races when he smiles at me.

Eventually, we finish our meals, and I signal for the check. The evening has flown by in a blur of laughter and shared stories, but I don’t want it to end.

“Do you want to grab dessert? There’s a place nearby that has the best gelato,” I suggest, eager to prolong our time together.

“Absolutely! Gelato sounds amazing,” Luca replies, his eyes sparkling with enthusiasm.

We leave the restaurant, and as we walk side by side, I can’t help but steal glances at him, drinking in the way he moves and the warmth radiating from him. It feels so effortless, so right.

As we approach the gelato shop, I notice a small park across the street. “What do you say we grab our gelato and take a walk in the park?”

“Sounds perfect,” he agrees, and my heart soars.

Inside the shop, we both order our gelato, and I can’t help but feel giddy as we step outside with our cones in hand. The cool evening air feels refreshing, and the sky is painted with hues of pink and orange as the sun sets.

As we walk through the park, the atmosphere feels almost magical. The sounds of laughter and music from nearby families create a warm backdrop as we stroll along the path, enjoying our gelato and the company of one another.

“This is nice,” Luca says, glancing around. “It’s so peaceful here.”

“Yeah, it is,” I agree, feeling the moment wrap around us like a cozy blanket. “I love coming here to escape everything.”

Suddenly, I stop and turn to face him, my heart pounding. “Luca, can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” he replies, curiosity lighting up his features.

“What do you want? I mean, in life. What do you really want?” I ask, feeling the weight of my own question.

He looks thoughtful for a moment, and I can see the gears turning in his mind. “I want to create. I want to tell stories that matter, that touch people. And I want to be free, to live my life on my own terms.”

“That’s beautiful,” I say softly. “I hope you find that freedom.”

“I hope you do too,” he replies, and our eyes meet. There’s a moment of silence, charged with something electric.

It feels like the world has faded away, leaving just the two of us in our bubble of connection. I want to lean in closer, to bridge the gap between us, but I hesitate, unsure if I’m ready to take that leap.

Suddenly, the spell is broken as a group of kids run past us, laughing and chasing each other, pulling me back to reality. I step back, clearing my throat. “Uh, sorry. I just...

“No, it’s okay,” he interrupts, his expression still warm. “I think it’s important to talk about what we want. We all deserve to pursue our passions.”

We continue walking, and I can’t help but feel a bit of tension settle back in. I wonder if I should have said more, if I should have reached for him when I had the chance.

Luca

The park is alive with laughter and chatter, but all I can hear is the thudding of my heart as I process the evening. I can’t believe how effortlessly I’ve connected with Elliot. Every moment with him feels charged, and the way he looks at me sends butterflies racing through my stomach.

As we stop by a small pond, I catch my reflection in the water and see Elliot’s silhouette beside me. “This is such a nice spot,” I say, trying to keep the mood light. “Perfect for a film scene, don’t you think?”

He smiles, and for a moment, the heaviness dissipates.

“Definitely. You could capture some amazing shots here.”

We continue to joke and talk about potential film ideas, but I can’t help but wonder if we’re skirting around something bigger. I want to ask him how he feels, but I fear pushing too hard might ruin the fragile connection we’ve built.

As we finish our gelato, I glance at the time and realize how late it’s getting. “I should probably get going,” I say reluctantly.

“Yeah, me too,” Elliot replies, and I can see the disappointment mirrored in his eyes.

We walk back to his car, and as we reach it, I feel a sense of finality creeping in. I want to extend this moment, to hold on to the connection we’ve created, but I’m unsure how to voice it.

“Thank you for tonight, Luca. I really enjoyed it,” Elliot says, his sincerity washing over me.

“Me too,” I reply, searching for the right words. “I had an amazing time. I didn’t expect to connect with someone like this.”

“Same here. It feels… different,” he says, and I can see the hope in his eyes.

The moment stretches between us, and I want to take a leap, to close the distance and bridge the gap that remains. “Elliot, I....

But the moment is interrupted as a car honks nearby, breaking the spell. I step back, my heart racing with frustration. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to”

“No, it’s okay,” he says quickly, his expression earnest. “I think we both have a lot to figure out, but I want to keep seeing you.”

“Yes! Definitely!” I reply, relief flooding through me. “I want to keep exploring this, whatever it is.”

He smiles, and for a moment, the world fades away again. “Let’s not let it end here. We’ll figure it out together.”

“Together,” I echo, feeling his words settle in my heart.

We part ways, I want to believe that we can cross this bridge, but the fear of what lies ahead looms over me.

I headed back to my apartment

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