His watchful distance

Chapter 6

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Carmilla 

The evening air brushed against my skin as I followed Martins back inside. My thoughts were all over the place– the formal dinner, the lady at breakfast, the way everyone stared at me as if I sticked out like a sore thumb.But more than anything, my skinned burned under Evan's gaze.

He said nothing when he saw me at the Southern wall, he just stood there. Watching. 

I handed Martins over to one of the staffs I saw on the way and walked quickly down the hallway trying to make it to my room without seeing him again. I didn't want to have any pointless interaction with him. My body was too tired and my chest tightened. 

As i turned to the corner of the staircase, I heard footsteps behind me. His.

I pretended not to hear them and kept walking.

“Carmilla.”

My left hand flew over to my chest.

His voice was extremely brief and calm.

I turned around slowly. Evans stood a few steps behind me, arm crossed over his chest.

“You shouldn't wander that far, not in that part of that house.” 

I frowned. “Theo needed help.”

“You could have sent someone instead.” 

I swallowed hard, forcing my self to make an eye contact with him. “The last time i checked, I didn't need your permission to help someone.” 

His eyes narrowed slightly. “That's not what I said.” 

“No, but that's what you meant.” 

The air between us got tight. He took a step forward and I took one backwards.

“Look I'm not here to make a scene,” he tone milder now. “But be careful next time.” 

“Got it.” 

He stared at me for a moment longer then walked past me. I stood there in the hallway until he footsteps faded. 

Then I finally let out a breath.

The day had barely broke and I was woken up by a knock on my door. It was still early – sunlight barely touched the windows. 

I opened it slowly and I saw a maid standing there, holding a neatly folded cloth.

“Alpha Evans asked you to put this on for today's training.” 

I blinked. “Training?” 

She nodded. “Alpha Evans holds a weekly ranking for wolves. This is done after all pack member participates. You will be joining them today.” 

My stomach dropped. “Why?” 

She hesitated. “I have no idea, but he said you have to be there today.” 

I dressed quickly. The outfit was simple yet tight. A black top and fitted pants. It felt more of an armour than cloths. My stomach churned all the way to the training ground. 

Wolves were already making preparations for the training. They were already stretching and forming groups. They all paused when they saw me. Some whispered, while some snickered. 

Evans was by the weapon box, talking to his Beta. He motioned me to move closer when he sighted me. 

“You will observe first.” He said plainly. “Stay over there and take note.” 

My chest burned with embarrassment as I walked over to where he pointed and stood still. 

One of the warriors– a tall woman platinum blonde hair walked past me and muttered under her breath. “Let's hope you don't faint for standing too long.” 

I bit my lips and looked away. 

They moved in pairs. Punches, throws, kicks. All aggressive. No one held back.

After a while, Evans signaled me to step in.

Every head turned. 

I walked forward trying to be steady.

“You will pair with Rhea.” He said, gesturing the tall woman from earlier.

Rhea huffed. “I'll try go easy on her.” 

The whole group laughed.

I said nothing as I moves towards the training circle. 

The fight started before I could move an inch. Rhea charged, her shoulder hitting my chest. I stumbled back but didn't fall down.

“Fight back, Luna.” She taunted.

I dodged the next blow from pure luck. If i had wasted a seconds more, my face would have been dripping with blood. I could tell her arm strength was good and that was why I tried as much as possible to avoid combat with her.

She went for my leg next. Before I could move, she swept my legs, I fell flat on the floor.

Evans didn't stop it.

My chest ached, I pushed up on my elbows, breathing heavy. Rhea moved again, and this time i rolled, making her miss. 

I stood, wobbling a little.

Something shifted in Evan's face. Probably annoyance or he was suprised. 

“That's enough for today.” He finally said.

Rhea stepped back, looking disappointed. 

“Take a break.” He told me.

I walked off the mat with my head spinning.

Later, I sat under a shade near the field. My elbow throbbed. A scratch marked my chin. I stared at others laughing, talking and training like they belonged which they did. 

I didn't.

Evans came over, holding a bottle of water. He handed it over to me without uttering a word.

I hesitated, before taking it.

“You didn't tell me i was sparring.” I suddenly became annoyed. 

“You need to learn,” he said turning to the rest. “The pack won't always protect you.” 

“And I thought that was your job?”

His eyes flicked to mine. “It's not my job to coddle you.” 

“I didn't ask for one, I just need answers.” I drank the water then wiped my mouth.

He didn't speak.

“Why did you get married to me, really ?” 

His shoulder tensed.

“Was it about the debt? About your father’s orders? 

He turned to face me, his eyes flickering with anger. “Be careful with your words.” 

“Why? Because I might learn something I'm not supposed to?” I knew I had crossed the line twice but I couldn't care less. 

We stared at each other, the silence breeding with unsettling thoughts.

He turned and walked away.

Again.

That night, I returned to my room exhausted. All my joints ached. My arms hurt but above all my pride hurt me.

I got to the door handle and tried to open the door, but it didn't budge.

I jiggled the handle. Nothing. I knocked. Still nothing. 

A maid rushed over to me from the hall. “Your things have been moved, Miss Carmilla.” 

“Moved?” I said sharply. “To where?” I couldn't stand for long again. My leg felt wobbly. 

“The room is across the hallway. He said it's closer and easier to supervise.” 

I looked across the hall. The door was wild open.

The room was much more dark and cooler, which was a plus for me, but I was yet to understand why he moved me like a pawn. 

I stepped into the new room and I didn't hesitate to lay down on the bed. 

And for the first time, I wondered how much of my life was truly mine.