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Her words make me feel sick. “You think I would separate you from our son? Do you still think so little of me?”

Her eyes glint with unshed tears. “I—No. I don’t know. I don’t know what to think.”

“I’ll bring you Vivian’s head. I’ll bring you Bella’s head. Will that satisfy you?” My voice is fierce. “Whatever you need, Leanna.”

“Their heads?” she echoes in disbelief. “And risk turning the elders against you, risk a rebellion? You just said—”

“I’m tired, Leanna,” I say slowly, gazing at her hands, the weariness in my soul leaking into my voice. “I’m tired of losing people, of losing my family. I can’t lose you again. So, whatever you need, I’ll give it to you.”

Tears spill from her eyes, and when I reach out to wipe them, she doesn’t move away from my touch.

Not this time.

Chapter 19

Leanna Avery

Anger is a difficult emotion to let go of. And it’s usually linked with pride.

I never knew that I had any pride or that I was allowed to till I came here, till I learned that I was fighting for more than just my life.

And it’s my pride that throbs when Harriet tells me the truth, when Cedric tells me what really happened. I can’t make sense of it. These aren’t emotions I can take apart and assess. I don’t want to feel this way. I don’t want to stop being angry.

All these years, my anger has been the only thing I’ve held on to. Knowing now that I’ve been angry over nothing, that I spent the last eight years being upset over nothing, makes me feel all sorts of ways.

“You don’t disobey your mother. That’s disrespectful, and I won’t allow it.”

“If you want to go somewhere, you ask for permission from your mother. And if you upset her, I’ll knock some sense into you.”

I was already awake when Finn decided to sneak out. I didn’t expect Cedric to catch him, though. I couldn’t see Cedric outside in the park anymore, so I thought that perhaps he had returned to his hotel room. But my window was cracked, and I could hear their conversation. I’m still surprised Cedric didn’t reveal who he is to Finn. And I was even more surprised to hear him discipline my son—no, our son—about respecting me. Finn is a sweet boy. He’s a little rebellious, and sometimes I need to have a firm hand when it comes to him, but he’s a good kid. He likes testing boundaries, though.

Cedric’s words are still ringing in my ears. They didn’t sound like they came from a man who hated me. Having the truth cemented for me is not easy, but I saw how my son reacted to his father. He listened. Have I really deprived my son of his father? And if I continue to do so, will it be detrimental to his future?

Having a conversation with Cedric and trying to remain calm throughout it all is not easy, but I know that for Finn’s sake, I need to go through with it.

As I prepared the tea, I tried to come up with the right questions, but I couldn’t stop my own feelings from leaking through.

“I’ll bring you Vivian’s head.”

I wasn’t anticipating that.

“I’m tired, Leanna. I’m tired of losing people, of losing my family. I can’t lose you again. So, whatever you need, I’ll give it to you.”

Of all the things I expected of this conversation, seeing this proud man lower his head before me was not one of them. He has changed. And greatly so. Sitting here next to him, I can see it now. He looks worn-out. The ferocity of his gaze has dimmed. He has the expression of a man who has been through hell. Or a terrible loss.

My anger fades and is replaced by a bone-deep ache.

“I don’t need Vivian’s head.” I can feel the tears slide down my cheeks. “Or Bella’s. But I don’t want to go back to the North, Cedric. I don’t want to give up my freedom and my job. I worked hard for this life. All of this, everything that I’ve done here, this is me. If you ask me to give it up and go back, you’re asking me to give up my identity. This is the first time in my life that I’ve been happy.”

“Leanna…”

My lips tremble as I once again face losing everything. “I know it’s selfish, and I know I have to consider Finn’s future, but no matter what you do, the Northern Kingdom will never accept him. The North and the East have archaic values. They will not accept children they consider illegitimate.”

“My son is not—”

“He’s not a pureblood.” I meet Cedric’s gaze evenly. “Look me in the eye and tell me they will accept him, and I will believe you.”

He’s silent.

“That’s what I thought.”

I withdraw my hands from the table, but he reaches out and grasps one, preventing me from pulling it away.

“If they won’t accept him, they will die,” Cedric says darkly. “I will wipe out their entire bloodline if I have to, Leanna. I will not let my son be insulted. He is my heir, and he will be my only heir. Finn will be the king of the Northern Kingdom one day. And if anyone has a problem with that, I’ll kill them and hang their bodies from the castle gate.” He studies me for a moment, and I see despair in his eyes. “I know you have feelings for Erik. I know I’m not as cultured and refined as him. I’m a brute. I’m aware of it. But Leanna, I can make you happy. I’ll give you anything you want. You can travel back and forth between the human world and the North if you want. I won’t stop you. If you want to keep your job, you can. If you—”

I lean forward and cover his mouth with my free hand, unable to listen to any more. “Stop. Please.” I can’t bear to hear him beg me like this. I don’t want to be the one to break this prideful man.

He takes both my hands and kisses them. “Just come home. I’ll fix it all.”

Why is he doing this? Why is he lowering his pride for me so much? The man I knew would never—

I didn’t realize I was speaking out loud till Cedric touches the edge of my hair. “The man you knew was a fool. I didn’t understand what I had till I lost it. When I thought you had died, it felt like I forgot how to breathe. I didn’t know I could feel that way. I just want you to come home, Leanna. I’ll give you the whole world. And whoever opposes you, I’ll give you their heads. I’m not Erik, but—”

“I don’t love Erik,” I say suddenly. “I know I implied it. I said I wanted to mate him, but I don’t.” I shake my head, still trying to understand. “Why am I so important to you? We hardly spent any time together. I couldn’t have made that big of an impact on you, Cedric. You didn’t even give me the mating mark. If you had marked Vivian, anything there had been between us would have been history.”

Cedric is quiet as he mulls over my question. “This has nothing to do with our fated mate bond.”

“Then, what?”