"It's yours only," I obey and Saint rewards me by exchanging his thumb for something way bigger and hotter. No condom again, but I don't mind if that means he'll take care of me like that other time. It feels a lot better this time, I don't know why. Maybe because I'm not drunk, maybe because my ass is needy from all that licking or because Saint told me we belong to each other in a magical way. I don't know, but when he starts to slide inside of me, it feels like the best sensation ever. "It's so good," I exclaim, burying my face on the mattress and allowing him to enter me slowly until he's all the way in. In me, that’s how it’s supposed to be, "Stay like that for a second, just like this.""Why?" he asks, voice needy and deep, his hands moving around my ass, to my lower back, "I like your slutty dimples, by the way."Everything about me is slutty, according to him. Right now, it doesn't bother me. It makes me feel wanted... I'm starting to think that's a shield word, something th
"Did Dylan touch you here?" I ask when the unwanted thought infects my brain again. Eros widens his eyes in panic for a second, but then he shakes his head, "Don't fucking lie to me." "I swear," he says, but I just don't know if I trust that lying, slut mouth. I know he'd let anyone do anything to him if they sweet-talk him for two minutes. I turn him around and put him face down in a second, "Hey! What the hell?!" "Did he touch your ass?" I ask, moving my hands down to his firm glutes. I can recognize I’m starting to act like an insane person again, but I can’t make it stop. All I want is to remind my mate he belongs to me. "No!" Eros shrieks. But again, I'm not sure I believe him. "You already gave your first kiss to another man, you better not have let him into your ass too. I do not share," I growl and pull his pants down, taking his boxers too. He's trying to shake me off of him, but I don't allow it, "Come on, Birdie. Get ass up and show me." "Oh my god," he complain
I stare at Eros blankly. Annoyed. "I'm not asking for you to say you love me, idiot. I don't love you either,” he scoffs at me, “But at least I can admit I want you. I think you're hot, I feel safe with you and sometimes I even want to be around you. So… your turn.“ "Fuck, Birdie, why do you want to know everything all the time?" I complain, looking everywhere for a figurative way out. I wish I could just leave and end this conversation, but I can't. He's just waiting for me to say something, "I don't know what to say, stop looking at me like that!" "Stop getting all agitated for nothing," he complains, shaking his head at me, "God, you’re really bad at this. How many girlfriends have you had?” "None," I respond immediately. His mouth falls open and he can't understand why, of course, because he can't spend one day without having someone to emotionally terrorize, "I don't feel things for people. I like women, I fuck them, I can hang out with them and have fun for a weekend or
"Calm down," I say when I see him starting to hyperventilate, "Eros, sit down and stop spiraling. Yes, all of those things are because we're mates. But we don't really call it 'soulmates' in my cult, we just say we're fated mates. Brought together by fate, destined to create a future and a life together.” “Oh… That sounds beautiful,” he whispers, then shakes his head and frowns, “Too good to be true.” “Too good? This is a prison,” I let out. He narrows his eyes, about to get mad again, “You’re chained to ME by fate, do you really think that is beautiful?” “Well, if you put it like that…” he murmurs, thinking about it, “I guess you make this worse, but under normal conditions with a normal person, it would be beautiful. Tell me more about this fated mates thing.” “Well… it’s a really big deal where I’m from. Like, people think that finding your fated mate is the one thing we’re here to do,” I continue, he eats it up and smiles at me all stupidly, “Also… fated mates’ children ar
"The reason why I can't just tell you the truth is because it's hard to believe," I mutter, giving up, "The reason why I know everything and the reason why my mom knows we have something going on. It's magical and nonsensical and you're not ready to hear it." "Magical?" he asks, moving back with wide grey eyes. They’re way too pretty, "I believe in magic." I roll my eyes. "It's one way to put it," I mutter, sighing and looking into those eyes again. And since his hand is so close and I know he'll appreciate it, I grab it... and hold on to it when he tries to snatch it back, "If I just tell you right now, you'll think I'm bullshitting and then you'll get angry and run to Dylan so he can make you feel better." "I won't do that," he murmurs, still trying to get his hand back. I don't let him, I just pull harder until his hand is on my chest and I lock it there. Now he's in a very awkward position and has to move and lay closer to me, "Let go of me." "No. I know for a fact you're wai
After that realization, I slowly turn around and stare at my new boyfriend, up and down. He looks so pretty, compared to the last memory I have of an older version of him that looked skinny, decrepit and sad. So sad. His cheeks are full right now, his eyes still lively, his body still strong and stance proud. I haven't completely fucked him up yet, I still have a chance to turn it back around and avoid that awful hell I sent both of us with my denial. I feel like a brand new man all of a sudden. I feel like I was just reborn after that, like I get a chance to do it all over again. And I'll take it, at least until I stop feeling so scared. "I'm sorry I yelled so much," I murmur, clearly confusing him a lot, "I don't know how to deal with... feelings and stuff like that."Eros nods, weary but not as on guard anymore. I breathe in and out for a few seconds, until my body stops feeling so tense. I've been so tense since I arrived to his room that my neck is hurting like crazy. "Can y