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44. Go To Sleep
I move my watery eyes and notice Ashar is still there. He is talking with someone on his phone. When his eyes catch me, he gets staggered. He put his phone down and runs to me.
He examines my face, "What happened?"
"Not now, Ashar." I warn, wiping some of the water from my face, "I'm really not in mood. Leave me alone."
I turn around and start walking away, but he comes forward and blocks my way, "Sanaya, I can't leave you crying. Please tell me what's wrong."
My nostrils dilate. He doesn't understand my simple words, "I don't want to see your face, Ashar. Didn't you get me before?" I yell.
For some reason, I feel a flood of tears rising in me and then they begin stream down my face. I'm tired. I'm sick of living this way. I want to be happy too.
"Get lost." I shout out my frustrations at him, "Get out of my life. I don't want to see you. Why my life is full of unfortunate events?"
"Please calm down." He gets worried. He lessens the s
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Am I married? 45. Forget about Warnings
I blink my eyes open, look around. Chilly feeling and car's room replay the last scenario. I immediately rise, settle my hair and come out of the car. When I drifted to sleep, it was day time and now it's night. I search for Ashar through my eyes. Five minutes later, I see him talking on his phone and coming towards his car. He stops when he sees me. I don't know what he did during the time I was sleeping in his car. He didn't even wake me up. However, sleep helped me. My headache is gone and I restore my strength also. I'm feeling better. "You woke up." He says when he comes to me. "Yes." I get nervous. "How are you feeling now?" "Better. You should've woken me up. I slept long." "No problem. You looked peaceful." Did he see me sleeping? Now I'm embarrassed. "You would've a hard time because of me." He shakes his head, "No. I've another car. I called my driver. I went to meet some people, you know offic
Am I married? 46. The Apology
Ashar comes to the hospital as he said so I go out to see him. He called me outside. He's leaned against his car. When he sees me, he stands straight and passes me a smile. I smile too, feeling light goosebumps on my arms. I walk to him. "Hey." I say, don't know how to start the conversation. He rubs his forehead, looks uneasy. "I..." I frown. He looks into my eyes straight, "I haven't done my lunch. Will you accompany me?" I couldn't hide my surpise, "Yes?" Is he asking me out? I'm surely dreaming. He looks to his left for a second, then me again, "There's a good restaurant nearby on walking distance. Come with me." It's actually four in the evening in my watch and he's talking about lunch. "I'm...I'm not...hungry?" I say, unsure and hesitant. I don't feel ike eating anything. "Okay. You can accompany me, just sit with me." "That's fine." I agree tentatively. He locks his car and start walking f
Am I married? 47. The Blissful Moments
"Ladies and gentlemen, may I get your attention please." Someone's loud voice breaks my trance. Ashar and I both turn our heads. Everyone else in the restaurant do the same. There is a young man with copper hair who is standing at the stage connected to a wooden dance floor with a wireless mic close to his mouth. "Today is the day when I first time confessed my love to the woman who is my fiancé now." He smiles, "Since the happiness in me is overflowing so I can't keep it to myself anymore, thought to share with all of you." He turns to his right, "Natalia, I want to say I still love you very much and my heart still races the same way like it raced when I saw you first time." "Awe." I exclaim aloud and smile. That's cute. I'm not the only who reacted like that. Other people in the restaurant also applaud for them and express their awe's in unison. That man walks over, taking the flower bouquet from the waiter and sits on his knees in front of the woma
Am I married? 48. Orphan Again
Once my class is over, I gather my things and put them in my bag. I amble out of the classroom when my phone rings in my back pocket. It's Ryan. It has been now a week when I'm practically living in a hospital and haven't gone to the mansion. "Sanaya, come over immediately." As soon as I put my phone on my ear Ryan says. He sounds panic. I freeze on my spot, "Why? What happened?" I press my phone more to my ear so that I won't miss out his next response. "They have shifted her to the ICU. Her blood pressure rose." I shiver when I understand what he's trying to say. "I'll be there." I say and cut the call. With shaky hands, I pocket my phone and run outside. Aaron is there standing with his car as usual. I quickly sit in the car and tell him to drive me to hospital. Twenty minutes later, I reach there. I hurry straight to the floor where ICU is. I can feel my heartbeat, every single beat that is pounding against my chest; loud a
Am I married? 49. Another Mistake
Distractedly, I push open the door of his bedroom and we both step inside. I move my eyes around. It's my first time coming to Ashar's room. The familiar scent of his minty cologne touches my nostrils. Room is furnished with light and dark shades of purple, make me think that he has some sort of likeness for the purple color. It has large glass doors, led to the small balcony. At the end of the bed, a white rug covers the space on which two geometrical designed arm chairs are placed. There are few pictures of him and some paintings hanging on the walls. His room looks clean and peaceful. Everything is placed on its rightful places. "Do you like purple?" He let out a breathy laugh, "Yes. Purple is warm." Purple is warm, just like him. Sometimes he's warm and thoughtful too. I bring him near his bed. He moves his arm from my shoulder and sits on the bed, still massaging his forehead. "Get some rest. You'll feel better." I say.
Am I married? 50. The Cold-Hearted Brute
Sun has risen. I find out about it when the weak rays of sunlight flicker through the large window and tease my eyes. I'm lying lifelessly on the middle of the large bed of the room. Ashar was right. I'm foolish, stupid and amateur teenager. He proved it to me last night. This is the first ever time in my life, when I've felt suicidal. I never felt so humiliated before. Ashar took advantage of my emotionally weak state. My mind was surely malfunctioning last night that I didn't give a thought about the outcome of my decision. I forgot about his resentment for me. His kisses and hugs were lessening my mental torments so I just let my feelings float. They were satisfying my longing desire so I gave in. I gave in on my virtue to him. I left his room in the middle of the night before he could wake up and spent the remaining night in other room; the room that the family offered to me when they brought me to this mansion. I thought I couldn't be able to fac
Am I married? 51. The Rebel
Is it possible not to recognize faces when you're drunk? It doesn't even sound convincing. It's not like my features resemble to Samara. Her eye color, hair color, shape of face is different from me. Even our heights are different. I'm some inches shorter than her. No matter the substantial amount of hate Ashar deserves from me I still can't stop my heart to get sad at the realization that the sincerity, the desire I saw in Ashar's eyes that night was not for me. He couldn't just call it a mere one-night stand. It was not a one-night stand for me. No one would believe on his excuse that he didn't mean to sleep with me. He meant to sleep with Samara. The fact that he wanted to sleep with Samara is enough for me to understand what he wants. Even if I take a stand and prove somehow that he's lying, it won't change that fact. He doesn't want me in his life. So its useless to fight back. I don't want to force myself on him. I clutch the glass in my hand, s
Am I married? 52. Some Music and Dancing
Loud thumping of music inside the house escalates my wooziness. My head starts spinning faster, making my vision blur. I stop walking and rub my forehead. Closing my eyes for some seconds, I try to fight back with my own disoriented self. I blink my eyes open again and jerk my head. My vision gets cleared a little and things around me stop whirling. Plastering a wide smile upon my face, I amble in the middle of dance floor, mingle with the young people there. I raise my arms above my head and start swaying my bottom with the beats of the music. For the first few minutes I dance alone and don't follow any specific moves. I silence every disturbing thought and let the music to take full control of my mind and body. A random boy comes in front and we start swinging our bodies in front of each other. I laugh aloud. He put his hands on the curves of my waist, "You're hot." I grin again and dance with him for a while. When I move my gaze around the place ai
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