Chapter 36

GRACE'S POV 

Once again, Susan had convinced me to go out with her. This time, it wasn't the weekend yet. As a matter of fact, it was only Tuesday. But she had us in her apartment, dressing up to attend a random karaoke night at a random bar. 

“I cannot believe I'm doing this. I thought you were going on a social purge or something, cleanse yourself of the public for a while and avoid the male population.” I told her as I buckled the completely unnecessary belt she gave me to use. 

“You said to focus more on loving myself, and that's what I'm doing. I'll avoid the male population, of course. But that doesn't mean I shouldn't do what I want. Who knows? Maybe I could make more female friends.” She replied, reapplying her lipstick.

I snapped my head towards her. “More female friends? Am I not enough for you?” 

She smiled at her reflection in her mirror. “More than enough. But perhaps one of them could have a brother that I'll end up with.” 

I stared at her, unblinkingly. “Susan.” 

“Grace.”

“You're on a self love journey, completely avoidant of the male population, at least I hope so. Why would you hope to find someone to end up with through a possible female friend?” 

She looked at me and shrugged, unashamed. “Because I still want love. I'm not going to shut down all possibilities because I want to love myself more. It's called strategizing.” 

“Scheming, you mean.” I corrected, sitting on her bed. It almost swallowed me alive, that's how soft it was, like clouds. 

“No, strategizing.” 

“You can't claim to be on a self love journey while you search for love.” 

“I can. It's called balancing.” She countered, slipping her heels on. 

I could already see that there was no way I'd be able to win this battle, so I decided to let it go. If she thought it was balancing, then by all means it was balancing. I could barely argue with her, she was crazy.

One of the main reasons I'd agreed to this outing was because I was hoping to find Michael there. It was terrible of me to not remember the day or place we met, but considering if I let things just roll, I'd be dead by his doing in 10 years, this was nothing compared to that. Absolutely nothing.

“Are you wearing that?” Susan pointed to my sneakers like they were horrendous to even be pulled by a thought. 

I looked down at them, brows furrowed in confusion. “Yes, why?”

She sighed and shook her head. “Come on, I have heels your size.”

I poked my cheek with my tongue, stubbornly shaking my own head. “Hunny, it's either this or I put on the flip flops I came with. You're just lucky I left this here however long ago it was.”

She looked like she wanted to protest even more, but I gave her the stink eye, daring her to try me. I was more than ready to put on my flip flops.

“Fine, but when it's my turn, I'm putting my foot down too.” She sassed, turning around to pick her purse.

I groaned, dragging a hand down my face. “I should have stayed in my room, this is barely worth it.”

“And miss karaoke night?” she scoffed. “Never.”

“I could rewatch a concert from home.” 

“You could catch arthritis from staying at home so much.” She added, a smirk appearing on her face 

I paused for a long second. “I don't think it works that way, child.” 

“That's what they said about AIDS too.” She clicked her tongue.

I stared at her, hard, longer than a second this time. “I don't even want to know, I swear.” 

Susan pulled me up and led the way as her cackle filled the air. 

Fifteen minutes later, we were standing outside the bar. I was really starting to wish I could apparate, but I was no elf, neither was I a Dumbledore.

Loud music spilled out from inside, mixed with laughter, off-key singing, and the occasional cheer. Fake or not, the cheer was loud. I believed most people only came out for the thrill of being around others that were drunk out of sadness or anger, or both. I had no desperation to be drunk, or be around those who were drunk. 

I folded my arms, already reconsidering my life choices. I should've just left. 

“This was a mistake,” I said.

Susan grabbed my wrist and pulled me forward. “Too late. You’re already here.”

“I can still leave.” I pressed my foot down, willing my weight to stay put.

“No, you can’t.” She pulled again. This time, my weight disobeyed me.

“I can literally turn around.”

She pushed the door open and dragged me inside.

And just like that, I was pulled into chaos.

The place was packed. Not overwhelmingly so, but enough to make the air feel warm and alive, the presence of humans made evidently known. 

Colored lights shone across the room, bouncing off faces, glasses, and the small stage at the front where someone was currently butchering a love song. Seriously, he wasn't even singing, he was screeching.

“Is he okay?” I asked, wincing slightly. His voice gave me the same feeling cutlery scraping a glass dish gave.

Susan leaned closer to hear me. “He’s trying his best!”

“His best is concerning!” I said.

She laughed, pulling me toward an empty table near the side. “Sit,” she said.

I sat reluctantly. I was already here, I might as well just try to enjoy it.

A waitress came by shortly after, and Susan ordered drinks like she had been preparing for this moment her entire life.

“I’ll have something sweet,” she said confidently, grinning at the lady.

The waitress nodded and turned to me. “And you?”

“Water.” I said immediately. If I let Susan, she would've ordered something strong for me just to get me loosen up a bit. 

Susan’s head snapped toward me. “Excuse me?”

“I said water.” I repeated. 

“You are not drinking water at a karaoke bar.”

“I absolutely am.”

The waitress looked between us, clearly entertained.

Susan sighed dramatically. “Fine. She’ll have something light. Very light. Practically water.”

I nodded. “That works.”