Dear Chaos Diary,Not in a thousand lifetimes would I have imagined that everything would end up like this. My conscience is clear, I was honest all along. With myself and with them.I helped wrap up a story that wasn't even mine. So don't ask me again to feel guilt that isn't my place to bear.Loretta says I went too far. Ethan says I should be in psychiatric treatment with Peter. Everyone says something. But nobody lives for us.We are our choices.And I chose to just live. Live as you can. Live with fulfilling my desires whenever possible. Live Free. No strings attached. No label.Which is not to say without love. Love can be translated in other ways.Not just in that romanticized way, like in books and movies.The genuine love we feel for ourselves and our loved ones, that, yes, should be a priority.Then no. I will not take a fault that is not mine.I'm sorry, spare me, but no.The sick are the others.Those who hide behind trauma, I don't see courage. I see fear.I see cowardice
“This is about my first time with Doug. He was experienced and I was just a girl. I tried to describe in detail. Enjoy it!Being warm in Doug's arms inside the car was quite inviting considering the chilly Perth night. After the brief flurry of sincerities in the square, we decided to ease the tension with a lighter conversation inside the car. Talk, and some kisses, of course. We talk about different topics. College, family, future. Until, perhaps a little motivated by the effect of the beer, I decided to take the conversation to more uncomfortable paths. After the honesty shown in Doug's words in the square, and after, even after midnight and with a few pints of beer, he hadn't tried anything, I felt more than ever that I could trust him. I felt safe to the point that my desire increased every minute I stayed close to him."You must be quite experienced" I hinted.He chose to ignore it and placated the silence with a kiss. But I had to insist."Well, more than me for sure."What dif
From the bus window, I begin to recognize the place where my father said he would be next to the new house. By my count, there's only another ten minutes to go.I don't know if it was reading during the trip, the many turns the bus took or everything together, but I feel extremely nauseous, hoping that the bus arrives at its destination soon.I avoid eating cookies anymore, I've come to despise them in the last few days, so these are the ones I love so much.I check my phone quickly, no messages. Screen light also gives me a headache. The truth is, I've been feeling weird with unprecedented frequency these past few days. I also felt that my hips are a little wider. I need to stop eating cookies at dawn.Suddenly, the cell phone rings. It's Loretta."Hey friend.""Hi, babe. Are you there yet?""Hmm... almost. Not long, why?""Nothing, I just wanted to know if it arrived okay."" Missing your crazy friend already, I know." Also." She nods. "Don't forget to say hello to Ethan." Never m
I knew I was irreversibly in trouble on the first day of school. Actually, no. The first few hours of class. My stepmother's insistence that I enroll in the English language course made a lot more sense as soon as my eyes met his. Much more than the shallow reason she had given in trying to convince me. You love reading and writing, you will find yourself in this course.True, I love reading and writing. But in the last few weeks I have been discovering a third activity that I never imagined could give me so much satisfaction.Today I can't see myself without it. Without them. My God, where is that concentrated and focused girl I was and what have you done with her?So that you understand better, I will tell you from the beginning. Not that I am being kind, it's just that, particularly, I love to remember every detail that brought me to the delicious mess I am in now.***Shortly after I received my High School certificate, Lysa, my stepmother, held tightly one of my arms and said:
I should be careful or I would be the victim of more bumps throughout the day. Of course, I hadn't told Peter about this yet, but I was a master at disasters of this kind. Naturally clumsy and inattentive. I worked at it constantly, but here I am, at university, and nothing has changed. I am still a walking slowpoke."My room is 308. Thanks so much for the help with the suitcase and... nice to meet you. Really, really nice to meet you. That's it.”"Mine, let me see... is 105. I'm going to stay on the first floor anyway, which is a relief for my knees.”I rolled my eyes. Of course he could only be joking, talking like that, like an old man. "Thanks for the company. I no longer consider myself a lonely fledgling.”"Take it easy, okay. We're not friends…”" Yet." We said, together."Yay! Bye, Peter!". I dragged the suitcase into my possession again, turning my back on him. No more goodbyes. We both knew that we would bump into each other many, many times on that campus.***Yeah, I kn
His full, unruly, gray hair matched perfectly with the gray beard that framed his face. His slightly square chin gave him a manly, seductive look. And, my God, he had that cursed genetic gift, the little hole in his chin. You could see it, despite the beard, which was very well aligned, by the way.I confess that older guys never called my attention that much. I was in the mood to be with people my own age or younger...like Ethan. Don't judge me, go. But that's a story I'll tell in more detail later, I promise.Back to the Linguistics I professor, I thought he was in his mid-forties by his build and raspy voice.He was white, tall, and with a deliciously up-to-date physique behind his aqua green social shirt, the same color as his eyes.And the look? Deep, seductive, with those thick yet aligned eyebrows. As soon as his eyes met mine, I couldn't help it. I was on fire inside.I had never felt something like this before, to be hit with just a look. But I had to cross my legs on the sp
With a precise movement, Max lifts me up by the waist and suddenly I am sitting on a sort of makeshift wooden table.The cubicle, almost unlit, was now like our parallel universe of chaos and lust. Max Anthon seemed to have urgency to comply with my request. All the movements he had made slowly seconds before were now replaced by precise, agile, firm gestures in pursuit of pleasure. Our pleasure, our anxiety.With enviable dexterity, he opened the two buttons of my jeans as if they were nothing. Inside my panties, my bocet@ was pulsating, my whole body on fire, it was so much desire that it seemed to sweat cold, out of any control."I don't do work by halves.”"What do you mean?". I asked, almost delirious with lust."You know very well.” He said, and didn't give me time to think. He violently pulled down my pants and the panties came down with them. Then he spread my legs wide apart, while I was still sitting on the small table, and squeezing my thighs, he squatted down and began t
"You are gone”. I am startled by Loretta's voice as I enter the room. She looks at me with an inquisitive look, as if she already knows everything. "I ran away, actually. I don't think this prank is funny at all.”"That's not to say that you're also lame…”Gee, you have no idea, Loretta."And where did you go?". She insisted, sitting with her legs folded over her bed. What a curious girl. I felt like confessing everything. But I still didn't know if I could trust her. Boy, it was the first day of school, wasn't it? "She looks tired”. Loretta continued, showing some irritation at my silence. "Tired? Oh, that I am. I had to walk a long way to avoid those inconvenient seniors. No offense”. Loretta laughed disproportionately to the mood of our conversation.I started to sort through my things to take to the shower. I was really exhausted and still in a frenzy inside. "You know you can trust me, right? To tell you anything”. She said, emphasizing the word anything. " Anything, real