Chapter 005: Let me go

005

|• DELORES

I expected him to be happy.

To see a smile break across his face because I was finally giving him something he’d always wanted—something I should have given him a long time ago.

Maybe it would have saved me the trouble of dying.

But as I looked at Aaron, surprise surged through me. Aaron didn’t look relieved. He didn’t look excited or triumphant.

He looked… broken.

His eyes were wide with shock like he was still trying to process what I just said. Why wasn’t he smiling? I forced myself to hold his gaze even though every second felt like I was peeling my skin open.

This was what he’s always wanted, right? This should be an opportunity for him to finally live his life, be with a lot of women like he had been without me being in his life to hold him down. I was never fit for his polished world anyway. I was nowhere near those actresses or models who come into his company in the guise of getting their outfits just so they could have a taste of him.

I was finally setting him free.

So why did he look at me like I had just stopped his heartbeat?

“A divorce?” he finally breathed, his voice barely holding together.

A flicker of pain shot through my chest, but I pushed it down. “Yes,” I answered, my voice clipped. “I’ve already spoken with Mr. Pierce, our lawyer. The divorce papers will be ready next week. Please sign it.”

Aaron blinked. “But why?” His voice cracked. I could see the pain in his eyes as he stood to his feet like sitting down would kill him.

I stood up as well, just to be on the safe side.

“Why do you want a divorce, Delores? We’ve been the perfect couple.”

“No, we haven’t,” I retorted, my fists clenching as I recalled everything that happened in my past life. “You never loved me. All you’ve ever done is neglect me and call me lousy!”

“I love you lousy!” His jaw ticked as he ran his hands through his hair. “Jesus. I might have called you that, but I never meant it. I enjoyed it,” he sighed. “Heck, it’s always been the highlight of my day.”

I stared at him in shock. This wasn’t right. In my last life he hated it. Hated me even and wouldn’t even want me to come close to him.

“I’m sorry if I have neglected you. I know I haven’t been the best husband to you, but please, it doesn’t mean we have to separate. We could fix it.”

“There is nothing left to fix,” I whispered.

Everything ended the day I died.

Aaron instinctively took a step forward.

I flinched back.

He froze.

“I don’t want you to touch me,” I rasped. I was terrified that if I let him touch me, I might break.

And the last thing I wanted was my stupid heart winning this battle over me. I’d died once, and now I’ve been given a second chance to fix everything. I wasn’t going to let the remnants of the love I have for him make me repeat the same mistakes.

I looked up at him and realized that what I said broke something in him. I saw it. The way his shoulders tensed. The way he swallowed hard. The way his eyes softened with a kind of desperation I had never seen on his face, not even during our worst fights.

“Delores, please,” he said quietly. “Talk to me. Tell me what I did. Tell me why you’re… why you’re doing this.”

My hands curled at my sides, nails biting into my palms.

He wanted to talk now?

Now?

Where was this version of him when I cried myself to sleep beside him? When he worked late every night, leaving me with unanswered texts and anxiety? When he made me feel like I was a guest in my own marriage?

“I don’t want to explain anything,” I said. “I’m tired of explaining myself to someone who only listens when it’s convenient.”

His breath caught.

“I’m your husband and you’re asking for a divorce,” he murmured. “I deserve to know—”

“You lost that right,” I said softly. “Long before today. I’m tired of this marriage, Aaron. I want out, so please, cooperate with me.”

I didn’t wait for him to say anything else before turning to leave. But his hand on my wrist stopped me. I turned back, pulling my hand away like fire had made contact with my skin.

“Delores,” he called softly. “Whatever it is, we can fix it.”

I don’t want to die.

I said nothing and turned to leave, but he did something that made my eyes widen in shock, it almost popped out of its sockets.

Aaron went down on his knees, his eyes shining with tears.

I facepalmed. “For crying out loud, Aaron.”

“Please, don’t leave me. I love you. Give me the chance to fix everything.”

My eyes burned with tears, my chest tightening. This was becoming harder than I thought. I couldn’t do this. I can’t spend another second here.

I turned away and left him there, tears rolling down my cheeks. I. Don’t. Want. To. Die.

••••••

The week ended with me avoiding Aaron and planning for my comeback—applying for auditions. Though it was hard since Los Angeles was home for entertainment, and every day thousands of people apply to audition for diverse roles.

I couldn’t even meet Jared—my agent—because I recalled how mad he was when I wanted to quit acting. He had big dreams for me, and I ruined it because I thought only my love could keep my marriage.

I should have never given up my dreams for marriage.

But this wasn’t time for regrets anymore. I was going to reclaim my spot. The world hadn’t forgotten Delores Monroe. I hope.

I closed the magazine I was going through, standing to my feet as Mr. Pierce walked into his office. He wore a crisp gray suit, his dirty blonde hair styled to perfection. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was in his late twenties. But Mr. Pierce was forty-five.

“I’m sorry for keeping you waiting, Mrs. Delores. You know how busy we are this season.”

I nodded politely. “It’s fine, I understand.” He gestured for me to take a seat, which I did. “Aaron isn’t here yet?”

Mr. Pierce glanced at the gold watch on his wrist. “I’m afraid so.”

My fists tightened. As always. He would rather work and flirt with women than do something important. I was about to say something when Aaron walked in. He wore a white dress shirt, tucked into black pants. Our eyes met and I looked away.

“Sorry, I’m late.”

I almost scoffed.

Mr. Pierce cleared his throat and leaned forward, folding his hands on the table. “As you both know, we are here to discuss the divorce. Mrs. Delores, you already confirmed your intention last week, your reasons being that the marriage was a mistake from the start, and you want to leave so you can have your life back, but I need you to confirm it again officially.”

My stomach tightened, but I forced myself to sit straight. “Yes. I want the divorce.”

Aaron’s head snapped toward me, pain flashing through his eyes.

“And you, Mr. Aaron,” Mr. Pierce turned to him. “Do you also agree to the divorce?”

Aaron shook his head immediately. “No. I don’t.”

My jaw clenched. I should have known he wasn’t going to make this any easier.

“I don’t want a divorce,” Aaron continued, his voice rough. “I want to fix things with my wife.”

I scoffed under my breath. Of course. Now he wanted to fix things.

“I don’t want to fix anything,” I cut in sharply. “I want the divorce, Mr. Pierce. Please continue.”

Aaron looked at me like I had just stabbed him. “Delores, please. Just hear me out. Give me a second chance. I swear I’ll do better. I’ll fight for us.”

“There is no us,” I retorted. “There hasn’t been for a long time.”

“Delores—”

“For God’s sake, Aaron, sign the damn papers!” I snapped, my voice cracking in frustration. “What do you want from me? Why won’t you just let me go?”

His jaw tightened, his hands curling into fists. “Because I love you,” he whispered and I paused. In my former life, this statement would have changed everything but now… it’s only making my pain worse.

My heart throbbed painfully, but I ignored it. I knew where this would end up. And I do not want to find out again.

“I don’t care,” I whispered back.

The room went silent.

Mr. Pierce cleared his throat again, obviously uncomfortable. “Alright… uh, considering that you two are not in agreement, and emotions seem quite high today, I am going to propose something.”

I looked up sharply.

Aaron did too.

“A six-month cooling period,” Mr. Pierce said. “During this time, neither party will sign or finalize anything. You will simply… continue living together, reflect on your decisions, and see whether reconciliation is possible.”

I blinked at him slowly, disbelief spreading through my chest like fire.

What?

Six months?

“No,” I said instantly, shaking my head. “Absolutely not. I don’t need time to reflect. I know exactly what I want.”

Aaron looked hopeful. “I agree to it.”

I whipped my head toward him. “You agree? Aaron, you can’t be serious.”

“It’s only six months,” he said quietly. “If after that you still want the divorce… I’ll sign whatever you want.”