Chapter 1

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The house is filled with vociferates and yelling from both of us, broken glasses are on the floor and things are scattered all over the place.

Dismayed by the whole situation, I'm lost for words; my heart's beating out of my chest and it seems that none of us are bothered about the mess we've made. I'm surprised by how the neighbors can't hear us, we have never had such an intense altercation and I'm so apprehensive about one of us ending up

physically hurt.

I'm sitting on the white marble floor in the corner of the dining room, a space so open you can see the door to the living room, I'm sobbing helplessly while gripping my front hair as I rock back and forth with my head facing the floor. Mascara is smudged under my eyes and I couldn't care less about the snot dripping from my nose.

I feel drained and hopeless and with the little dignity I have left, I should be walking out that door, but how am I to leave everything after all we've been through?

Seeing him standing there with his clenched jaw and eyes seething, he looks like an alpha, the kind that you are attracted to but wouldn't want to get close to.

He's looking just as upset as I am and there's no way we can die down the situation. His face is fuming and I can't imagine the disappointment and hurt he's feeling.

I should have held back my thoughts and let things be the way they were before. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything, but how was I to ignore something so serious? Everything was too good to be true, maybe he was too good for me and now reality is sinking in. Maybe we weren't meant to happen.

When I catch a glimpse of him walking across the room, he's looking disengaged, as if nothing else matters to him, like he's given up on life and all that he ever hoped to find in love.

Knowing all that he's been through I feel like sh*t for digging up his past and I know I shouldn't be justifying myself but he played a part in it too. Sure, everything seems perfect on the outside but what about what lies within, the questions we're scared of asking, the past we're too scared to dig up, the moments we're scared of facing — what happens to all of that?

Every moment spent with him has started to fade into thin air and the glasses are too broken to piece them back together. How did we get like this? Now I'm

wondering if I made the right decision to be with him.

Suddenly, I hear my Mom's voice from outside the house and only a door that is ajar is keeping her from coming in. The sound of her voice sends shivers down my spine and strikes my joints weak that I can hardly move. When I dart my eyes at him, I come face to face with the sheer look of terror in his eyes. Arched eyebrows, widened eyes, and a face as pale as that of a ghost.

The easiest thing I can do is to move out of sight, however, I'm too incapacitated. If we're seen together, it will be the end of us. Crap!

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"Hey, wat' up you've been sitting here burying your head in books while Jake and I have been looking for you so we can go to the mall, and I heard Michael is coming along," Tessa says as she leans in and props her chin in her right palm.

She's been my ace buddy since we were twelve and we have been by each other's side like yin and yang. She can be a pain in the ass sometimes but I wouldn't trade her for anything in the world.

I, on the other hand, can be goofy, clumsy, and sedate sometimes but she gets me. Of course, she has a charming way of talking people into a lot of things I mean who wouldn't, her ocean-blue eyes are way too pretty to say no to and I hate that I always fall for them.

What do they say again? Opposites attract? That's Tessa and I, we're like fire and ice and yet we work so well together even though we bicker sometimes. Anyway ending a conversation with her is impossible especially if she wants something so bad, we always tend to go back and forth until I end up giving in.

"Ughh please don't start again, you know that I can't go out with Michael or any other guy, you know my policy," I groan as I spin the chair to face the other direction. I know it sounds cliche and I'm certain Tessa is tired of hearing it but experience made me that way. My history with men has always been sour, especially after what I went through at the hands of my stepdad.

"Oh c'mon girl," Tessa says frustratingly as she spins my chair to face her, "Enough with you and your no-man policy," She says as she quotes my words with her fingers, "I understand that what you went through was torturous, but for how long will you keep holding onto that pain? Just because your stepdad maltreated your mother doesn't mean that all men are the same, if anything every man is far cry from the other."

She slumps in her seat right in front of me and then adds, "Besides, every relationship has ups and downs. It was so unfortunate for your mother to be with such an abusive and reckless man, forgive me for saying this" ( she makes a sign of a cross then proceeds) "But your ex-stepfather was such a horrible man and I'm glad he's behind bars,"

"I'm glad too," I heave a sigh of relief as I slump back in my seat. I've never felt this free prior to him being behind bars. No one should go through what I went through when he was with mom, all the physical and the emotional abuse, no child deserves that. No child deserves to be abandoned by her father either regardless the age.

Despite the many years that have passed, the scars are still there deeply embedded in my skin, and the images of the past still haunt me.

"But Michael is different, he's good-looking, he's smart, he's in college; sure he's older maybe a year or two, but," She says as she looks up trying to figure out his age with her bottom lip jutted out, "Isn't that charming though? Just think about the good that can come from this," She beams. She's getting a thrill out of annoying me she can hardly conceal it.

"Get a grip!" Frustration explodes out of me as I leap out of my seat. Knowing how persistent she can be, there's no way of convincing her otherwise. Once she has her mind set on something, she's as stubborn as a mule there's no way of escaping her grip. "If you like him so much why not date him instead," I say bluntly.

Surprised at my immature suggestion, she scoffs and peeps out the window for a second before reverting her eyes to me, "Like he would. Even if he did I wouldn't want to destroy what you guys have."

"We have nothing! nothing --" I burst out sounding vexed, "I don't even like him like that, sure he's attractive but that's all he'll ever be to me."

"That's what you tell yourself to believe but have you seen the way he looks at you every time you're not looking? The way he speaks highly of you when you're not around? He doesn't have to say a word, anyone can tell that he likes you, anyone but you."

After hours of squabbling about it, I finally give in. Trying to prove a point to her is pointless.

I knew I had already lost this battle. I stand still with my arms folded over my chest while I watch her raise her hand overhead in a gesture of triumph. Her face is beaming and the satisfaction of finally setting me up on a hang-out with Michael mirrors in her eyes.

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Even though I am reluctant about it, she manages to coax me into going to the mall with them. It's such an awkward feeling being in such proximity to him especially when our hands are ghosting over each other.

We've been inside the mall for over thirty minutes and I've hardly spoken a word to him. Knowing how he feels about me at least from Tessa's perspective, I can't do or say anything that would make him think they'd ever be a chance between us, not when I don't feel the same way.

He is so gorgeous but what's the point of dating when he'll end up leaving anyway. They always leave.

Jake and Tessa depart from us a few moments later, leaving me in the presence of the only person I so badly want to escape from.

Standing a few feet apart, I reach for my phone in my purse while praying so hard that there's still a chance my phone's not dead yet. It will take a couple of minutes if not an hour for them to come back so I might as well keep myself busy, anything will do as long as it doesn't have to do with me conversing with him.

When I finally dig my phone out of my bag, I forcefully press the button a couple of times. No this can't be! Panic sets in as I watch the black screen on my phone with nothing but a reflection of me. It's dead, what now?

"If you need to use a phone urgently I can give you mine," A husky voice slips out of his mouth. Standing still, I lift my eyes to meet his golden brown eyes that are reflecting nothing but calmness.

"It's fine -- i-it's not that urgent," I falter as I rush to dump the phone back in my purse.

"You sure?" He questions with an ounce of doubt in his voice.

"Yeah," (clears throat) "Yeah I am, thanks."

"For what?" A soft chuckle escapes his mouth along with the words.

"For umm, never mind," Overwhelmed with emotions, I take a step back to calm my racing heart. My hands are sweaty, and thoughts are swirling in my mind like a wedge tornado. Saying I don't want to be with him is one thing but standing next to him is another especially when we're standing this close. I can't give in. I cry in silence wishing the ground would open up and swallow me, why not now?

I feel a soft touch on my shoulder, it's as gentle and warm as the look in his eyes. He has a tough look, a rebel kind of look that many get to see and only a few people have seen the full version of him.

Having him standing so close to me with his hand still on my shoulder makes me flinch and he takes a step back as soon as he notices. When he rakes his fingers through his light soft wavy brown hair, I notice how slightly bashful he looks by the crimson color on his cheeks.

Taken aback, I stand still and gaze at him in astonishment. I've never seen this side of him before, shy, embarrassed, vulnerable, and can hardly compose a sentence. Abruptly, the color on his cheeks fades away and is replaced with a bold look in his eyes. Confident and so composed as if nothing happened.

"I'm sorry about that," he says solemnly, "Can I get you anything to eat?"

Unable to lift my tongue, I say nothing. Conversations are reeling in my head like whether or not I should eat something. What if I embarrass myself? I can be a messy eater at times and I don't want him to see that side of me, not now. Wait, will there be a next time? and if so will I give the same excuse? Gosh, Becca say something, why do I have to be indecisive all the time?

"Becca, Becca --" A familiar voice pulls me out of my thoughts and it doesn't take me long to realize that it's Micheal's.

Sh*t I haven't given him a response.

"Ice cream!" I blurt out.

Perfect, just what I needed in this cold breeze weather; we're a quarter through spring and the weather still sucks. Winter wasn't friendly and after punching through the snow a couple of times just to make my way through, I could hardly wait for the season when many trees blossom and bright flowers push through the earth.

"Umm...K?" He responds doubtfully as furrows trace his forehead. Upon reassuring him that I'll be fine, he presses his lips into a thin line and shoves his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket. I hope I won't get a brain freeze.

He starts walking towards the ice cream store and I follow behind while facepalming myself for sounding so silly. Ice cream? Ice cream? Really Becca? I huff and Micheal notices, thankfully, he doesn't stop, however, he glances over his shoulder and asks if I'm okay, and this time I respond right away.

After looking through the ice cream display freezer, I finally pick my favorite flavor and scoop it out. Perfect.

"Vanilla?" He asks in astonishment, "That's your favorite flavor?"

Unable to speak, I hum while I devour the delicious cold, creamy, smooth, and sweet cream that will probably give me a brain freeze.

He gazes at me in astonishment for a couple of seconds and I hardly notice -- until now. His brown eyes look so tender and mesmerizing, and his brown hair is draping over the left side of his forehead and covering his left brow, though a soft breeze runs through it, only a few strands fly away but fall back in place right away.

Upon clenching his jaw, he slowly lifts his hand and rests his fingers on the corner of my mouth. Unsure of what to do, I stand still while I hold his eyes with mine despite them melting me to the ground. Nerves fire off in my body the moment he feathers his fingers against the corner of my mouth to wipe off the ice cream.

My breathing intensifies and my heart goes like a bat out of hell when he captures my chin between his thumb and finger and slightly tilts it up. A shaky breath escapes my slightly parted lips but that doesn't prompt him to release my chin, if anything, he starts leaning forward and it is at this moment that I have to make a choice that will either bring us together or break us apart. Oh, snap what do I do?!