chapter 9: I want to know the truth

Cassian pov

I’ve never been one for crowded halls or loud, polished events. I grew up with banquets, ceremonies, and the constant weight of being watched. So I knew how to blend in. I knew how to make my presence felt without demanding it.

But tonight, the moment I stepped into the Orion Foundation gala, all I cared about was finding one face.

Orion.

I didn’t know what I expected. Maybe that he’d ignore me. Maybe that he’d avoid me completely. But I didn’t expect him to walk like he was balancing on a blade—like every breath was measured, like he was forcing himself to stay upright.

It made something in me stir.

My wolf didn’t howl or roar. It... leaned forward.

Like it was trying to hear something. Like a scent it almost remembered but couldn’t quite place. A thread of something familiar.

I kept my distance for a while. Watched him navigate the room like a seasoned diplomat. He smiled at all the right people. Said all the right things. But his eyes never lit up. Not once.

He looked like he was fading from the inside out.

And beneath the rich perfumes and colognes of the room, I could smell the faint chemical sting again. Suppressants. But stronger. Too strong. It clung to him like a shield—and a prison.

Whatever he was hiding—he was terrified of it being found.

Still, my instincts were louder tonight. Closer to the surface.

The first time I scented him, it had been faint, drowned by blockers. But the impression lingered. A sweetness buried in acid. I couldn’t forget it. Couldn’t ignore how it made my wolf tense and lean forward with alert curiosity.

I waited until he slipped away. Watched him excuse himself and move out to the balcony, shoulders tight, movements stiff.

Then I followed.

---

He didn’t look at me when I stepped outside. The breeze lifted his hair gently, and he leaned against the railing like he couldn’t hold himself up any longer.

I said the first thing that came to mind. “You look like you’re suffocating.”

He didn’t respond, not at first.

But he didn’t leave either.

There were things I wanted to say that I didn’t have the right to. Questions I wanted to ask but knew he wouldn’t answer.

So I spoke the only truth I had.

“I’ve been searching for my mate since I was eighteen,” I said quietly. “And now I’m thirty-four.”

He stiffened but still didn’t turn.

“That’s sixteen years of wondering. Of waiting. Of meeting faces and walking away disappointed.”

Silence stretched between us like a pulled string.

“My wolf... he’s been quiet for years. And then you showed your real self at that gala.”

His knuckles were white against the stone.

“I don’t know what you are,” I continued. “But my wolf is trying to reach something in you. Something quiet. Like yours is trying to respond, but can’t.”

At that, he finally turned.

His eyes were hard, but his voice was softer than I expected.

“You’re imagining things."

“No,” I said. “I’m feeling something. And so is your wolf, isn’t it?”

His lips parted. No answer.

Then, his guard snapped back into place. “I’m not your Omega.”

“I never said you were. But I think we both know this isn’t normal.”

He moved to step past me. I didn’t block him, but I let my voice follow him.

“You can bury your wolf in drugs and chemicals. You can hide behind a title. But your wolf will soon become weak of hiding, and it will come out of its hiding place.”

He paused for half a second.

Then he left.

---

I stayed out on the balcony after he disappeared inside. The wind was colder now, biting at my collar, but I didn’t move.

The city glittered below us like nothing was wrong. Like it wasn’t holding secrets and silences.

I hated this.

This waiting.

This uncertainty.

I needed confirmation.

But the truth was—I couldn’t get it unless he let it happen.

His wolf was too weak to respond properly. And mine couldn’t recognize what was buried so deep.

And the worst part? I was starting to care.

Not just about the bond. Not just about the answer.

About him.

There was something about the way he held himself together. The way he said nothing but screamed through his silence. He looked like someone who was constantly bracing for impact.

And I didn’t want to be the next one to break him.

But I still had to know.

---

Later that night, I returned to the North Tower.

Kai met me at the gates, holding a file. “You missed three meetings,” he said flatly. “And one diplomatic call from the East sector.”

“I didn’t miss them,” I muttered. “I ignored them.”

He handed me the file anyway. “And you’re still brooding?”

I didn’t respond.

He followed me up the stairs to my office. “Want to share your problem?”

I dropped into the chair behind my desk. “It’s not just a problem. It’s him.”

Kai folded his arms. “Then what now? You can’t force a bond. You know that.”

“I know.”

I ran a hand through my hair. “But there has to be a way to draw his wolf out. Not in a fight. Not in fear. But naturally. Slowly.”

Kai was quiet for a while. Then he said, “You think he’s been suppressing himself for how long?”

“Years,” I said. “Maybe since he was a teenager.”

“And you’re going to be the one to change that?”

I looked out the window.

“I don’t know if I can. But I think I have to try.”

Because whatever Orion was hiding—it wasn’t just about survival.

It was about who he really was.

And if I was right... then he was mine.

Even if neither of us knew it yet.

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