Beneath Blood and Water

When I think to the day it all started I am always shocked by how mundane it was, a car ride with home with whom I considered a brother, the wind in our hair, the growl of the engine, a body in the trunk, and caked blood on your shoes, I made sure to be cleaner in the hit this time compared to others.

I watched the places around me fade into a blur of greens and blues, a mush mosh of blurred colors, the wind calmed my nerves, the impatience I held that this car wouldn’t go faster.

“Alex are you listening?” I shook my head still looking out the window.

“What did you say?” I asked quietly, my voice above a whisper, as if speaking any louder would break the peace that I currently had.

“I was asking if you're really quitting?” I turned to look at the man

Dyed red hair in a buzz cut a permanent smile on his face as if it were cut and sewn there on his face, he was always so darn happy.

I respected that and it also annoyed me who as the Director always said had facial expressions that were forced to be upside down, whatever that meant.

He sighed rolling his brown eyes at me they always shone so nicely in the sun, he had so much hope and happiness for someone in our profession what happiness was to be found in being a hit-man.

I always wondered if it was our upbringing, I was born and bred in the ‘ Happy smiles orphanage’ I never knew my parents, I was told I was just brought by the stork hand-or is it beak- delivered, to the director himself.

I knew no one and nothing but what I was taught in the orphanage, but he was different.

Joshua, my mind whispered curling around the name like a snake curled around its prey, but it was soft not angry, or in hunger, more like just petting an animal for warmth when it was full.

Joshua came to the orphanage when he was little over 8, he was scared at first, I watched him, he had the shiniest, and cleaned blonde hair I had ever seen-its gone now hidden by ugly dye-.

When I first saw him I could've sworn it reflected the sun into my eyes, I went blind for a minute only to be blinded again after he smiled at me.

I immediately found him annoying, and sought to run far away from him, but he was persistent, ,maybe it was because I helped him escape from bullies, or maybe it was according to him I did not look at him like an outsider as other children, but to be fair all children were outsiders to me at the time, they never stayed

But I was forced to be his friend, and we've been together ever since.

I reached out to touch his hair out of habit, something I did whenever I was lost in thought and staring at him, his face, he would become the darkest shade of red, like blood, he no longer turned red like when they were younger though, just as he no longer had hair, just as I’ll no longer be here.

‘tsk’ I took back my hand “Why did you cut your hair”

“Well the director said it was a nuisance”

“you would cut your fingers if that’s what the director wanted”

He chuckled” I owe everything to the director” something strange passed his eyes for a second that I couldn’t catch, or even understand even if I did, but it was gone too fast to try”…I would do anything for him”

I was irritated again “ its not too late to follow me you know” I said again, this time out of formality, I knew he wouldn’t leave,” your debt is almost over anyway”

“ I don’t know where to go, or how to start life… you know this is the only life I’ve ever known.. I’m actually surprised that you're leaving, you can hardly function normally here how would you function outside.”

The debt, a cross we carried the moment we stepped foot in ‘Happy smiles’ we were given the best food, the best education, the best clothes and health care, but at a cost.

When we turn 18 the caretakers will give us a list of our bill, like in a hotel, they show us the numbers of that we had spent from the day we entered the orphanage till that day, all with interest, and were given an ultimatum, spend our life in debt, or work for them to pay our debt.

Usually the f*e is an astronomical amount for anyone that comes in, only those that have stayed there for maybe 2 years could risk working on the outside to pay, but people like Joshua, who had been there for 10 years had no choice but to work for them.

My bill was extravagant, the Director said I was a very sickly baby, I almost died too many times to count, so my bill was worse than most people here.

But I had worked and fought and killed my way to this day, it took 15 years, but I was finally free

I shrugged “ What matters is that the debt is paid, this is my last job” I looked back to the blurry view, it felt like my life was passing as fast as the view.

“I still don’t see why you have to go, the organization is our home we've been here since we were little why do you want to leave”

“That's exactly why, you only got here when you were 8.. I was practically born here, I want to see what it’s like to be…” I pause searching for the word”…normal?”

“ sorry Lex but you are far from being normal”

“Yes but I could learn” I said seriously

“you would learn? How would you learn?”

“i’ve watched a lot of television”

Josh laughed , I ignored him “I learned that you should say thank you after you're given something and please to take something”

“is that why you started that, the trainees were so scared, they thought they were about to die, since when did the all might Alex…show gratitude, it sent a shiver down my spine as well ” he fake shuddered.

I glared at him raising my hand in a punch

He caught it flashing a toothy smile my way, as if smug “see you don’t just hit someone that annoys you in the outside word, its not polite”

I rolled my eyes, but noted that for later.

“What else did you learn?” he teased

I thought seriously,” Running away from vampires is futile,and Beds are for sleeping”

He looked at me flabbergasted “What?”

I nodded seriously, “the director often said that sleeping would leave one open to too many risks, so I usually find a corner to sleep ”

“ First off vampires don’t exist..”

I ignored him

“ Second off is that why you don’t have a bed in your room? I thought you had a retractable bed or a futon or something”

I shook my head,” No I never saw the use of one so I didn’t ask for one”

“Always living with what’s needed..”

“.. You have to think more of what you want “ I finished “…that’s why I am leaving the organization, I want to see experience life like on tv”

Whatever that means. “I have the funds, I can live without working I’ll go around the world, I’ve always wanted to go to Japan…as a tourist, not as a job” I silenced him when he was about to object that we've gone there plenty of times

“That was your fault you never slowed down, always too busy thinking of leaving” he said bitterly

I didn’t say anything more, noticing that we were slowing down, we had gotten to the office.

Usually we threw the body out then returned, but Joshua said the Director wanted to speak with me before I go, I had  a plane booked in the afternoon to my first vacation site in the  Maldives to rest, it was the most popular vacation spot, I wanted to experience what a vacation felt like.

Then after I’ll take the body to my special dumpsite and then ill be gone.

I nodded my head doing a mental check on all the things I needed to do before leaving, I need my bags, and a shower, I could still smell the blood.

The car came to a stop in front of a building, it was an abandoned cabin surrounded by nothing but trees for miles, it had broken windows, and a huge sign with red paint splattered all over it, that looked almost like dried blood, on the one intact window, the fake blood wrote ‘GET OUT’ a mark in the front that almost looked like a gash.

This was to scare anyone daring enough to try and go inside to snoop around, it was very effective, but at the same time attracted the daredevils wanting to try their luck, if they ever found anything they were taken care of, either by being scared of, paid of or just turned off.,

I sighed taking in the place for the last time.

Joshua was ahead of me, he had already exited the car and knocked on my glass ushering me out of the car.

“Let’s go to the Directors office”

“ I nodded and walked ahead of him, wanting to get this over with, I looked at my watch.

11.24

The flight was by 4 I still have time.

I walked inside the cabin, the inside looking more horrifying than the front, there was broken glass everywhere, claw marks on the walls by something obviously not human, dry wall caked the floor, it looked old (find out what old blood looks like) my eyes schemed over stopping at a frame kept in a conspicuous angle obviously to get people’s attention.

I always found myself drawn to this particular photograph, it was ruined, a family photo most likely, a pregnant woman sat down smiling brightly into the camera her eyes bright, against her beautiful ebony skin, her hand held onto the man with no face, it was ripped off or more burnt off, his hand around her neck in a hug, she was bigger than the man, taller it would seem, most likely why she needed to sit, the man was skinny, not in a sickly way at least, if you looked closely you would see the muscles in his small frame, most likely a couple that enjoyed working out

I walked on towards the basement, my footsteps were usually light, but taking any step in this cabin left a creaking sound that was offensive to my sensitive ears, I gritted teeth moving briskly reducing the force to avoid the sound made by the boards.

At the bottom of the stairs in the basement, we found nothing but pure darkness, following my memory I shuffled around and found a crate in the left corner on the room, it was covered by what used to be white sheets, now turning yellow due to age, and dirt

I felt around the crate, I traced the crate down the edge my fingers found an uneven surface, I ran over it again and pressed down with a silent click, a keypad appeared.

i inputted a series of random code, something that changed every second for security.

“You have to be the only one on base that can guess these codes without checking your communicator” he sighed in (given up? Is that the word?) “..must be nice being the directors son”

I am not his son… I thought having been disillusioned years ago but kept silent, it would lead to another argument after all, and it was tiring to argue when you don’t want to talk much, I wasn’t much a talker I just talked to Joshua

But it was just 1% more than I talk to other people.

Click

a hatch opened below us, a cold blue light flashes before us, we went down me first.

After more security clearance, passwords, and riddles, and tunnels that lead into one another like a puzzle because the director considered himself funny we finally arrived at the office

I took a deep breath, it was finally time, after his last check in I was finally free.

I opened the door without hesitation.

“Director” I greeted curtly with a bow of my head hands beside me.

“Ah my precious baby how have you been” I took that as my sign to stop bowing, I met his eyes a very strange shade of dark brown, I always wondered about, in some lights it almost looked red,  his long black hair was in a bun on top his head, his muscled arms crossed over his chest, long legs spread open one laid on the floor the other at an angle, he was too tall for the couch but he looked comfortable enough in it, he had a high nose almost aristocratic, his eyes were always half closed he was someone used to looking down on people, his full lips pulled in a smile red against his pale almost white skin, at a glance you would think he was close to death, a poisonous beauty I heard in the corridors, a beauty in an androgynous way poisonous to any gender the beheld him.

He sat languidly on the couch in his office, it reminded me of a feline watching his prey, if anyone saw him like this they would think him an easy target with his soft smile and smiling eyes, I knew that wasn’t true, like a panther he would leap and tear out your throat at the slightest offense I had witnessed it myself plenty of times, this man was not someone easy to deal with, and needn't do it himself he had enough loyal followers that were hard to deal with.

“I have completed the mission sir, this will be my last check in”

I looked behind him the clock read 3, I can still make it.

The director sighed, “You really won’t change your mind” he said sulking

I flashed him a deadpan look. We’d been over this — too many times to count. Every time I said I wanted out, the answer was the same.

My silence answered his question,”That’s disappointing” he placed is chin on his hand, “you are too much like your father” he got up and caressed my face

It was the first time I’d ever heard anyone mention my parents. I didn’t even know he knew them.

I stood frozen not in fear, but in shock. In the thousand questions crashing into each other in my mind.

He snapped me out of it. His nails dragged along my skin sharp and far too close to my eyes.

"It's one thing I love and despise about you," he murmured.

Then his fingers clamped around my chin, forcing me to meet his eyes, glowing, burning red.

Everything inside me screamed.

My vision blurred. My lungs locked up. It felt like something was squeezing me, cold, slimy, and endless. A thousand invisible tentacles constricting my body, crushing me from the inside out.

I couldn’t move.

Couldn’t breathe.

My limbs felt like stones, sinking into dark water.

With the last bit of strength I had, I turned my eyes, just enough to see the clock.

3:30.

I wasn’t going to make it after all.

And then the world went black.