Chapter 14: The Weight of the Past

Cecilia remained motionless in the middle of her apartment, the wind raging outside, the disturbing recollection of the crash echoing in her thoughts. She rolled her head from side to side, hoping to shake it off, but the discomfort remained unyielding. She lightly stroked her belly, lost in thought, a subconscious routine that began during her pregnancy.

Heading to the couch, Annie sorted through a jumbled heap of clothes, looking for something to divert her attention,Her thoughts returned to memories that still clung to her like shadows.The healthcare center. The doctor’s office.The chilling, indifferent setting where her dreams crumbled.

It had been more than a year since, yet the recollection was still vivid. Cecilia entered the room, feeling both hopeful and anxious.She had been feeling unwell for days—drained, unsettled And slimming down despite eating as she usually did.But she could never have predicted what the doctor would say next.

Flashback:

Cecilia perched on the examination table's edge, the white paper gown rustling underneath her while she anxiously drummed her fingers on her knee. The doctor's office was unsettlingly silent, accompanied only by the gentle buzz of the overhead fluorescent lights. Her heart pounded as she gazed at the door, anticipating the doctor's arrival.

When he eventually did, he held a file in his hand, his face displaying an inscrutable expression. He didn’t glance at her right away; instead, he turned the pages, his brow slightly knitting in concern. Cecilia felt her stomach twist.

“Ms. Sinclair,” the doctor started, finally locking eyes with her, “we’ve got the result from your tests.”

Cecilia nodded, attempting to soothe the fluttering in her heart. "And?" she murmured.

The doctor inhaled deeply before proceeding, his tone calm but weighty. "You have been diagnosed with cancer, Cecilia."

The words hit her like a punch to the chest. Her whole body became rigid. For a brief instant, everything surrounding her became indistinct, and the earth appeared to rotate on its axis. She sensed the earth below her collapse, her mind failing to comprehend the weight of what he had just uttered.

Cancer. The word resounded in her mind repeatedly, a harsh refrain.

The doctor kept talking, but Cecilia was unable to hear him. She could only concentrate on the throbbing in her head and the queasiness escalating in her throat. She was not interested in hearing it. She did not want this. She was unprepared. Not at this moment, not when all other aspects of her life were falling apart.

The doctor's tone became gentler, as if attempting to comfort her, but it only intensified the situation. "It’s in the early phase, but we must begin treatment right away."

Cecilia looked at him emptily, the words indistinct. She parted her lips to speak, but nothing issued forth. She was unable to articulate the words. The burden of the diagnosis and the uncertainty of the future weighed heavily on her spirit.

“Ms. Sinclair?” the doctor spoke softly, his hand placed on the table's edge. "You are not by yourself in this." “We’ll determine the most effective approach for you.”

She shook her head, holding back the tears that were close to falling. She was unaware of how to handle this situation. No clue how to maneuver through this unfamiliar reality.

"Is there a solution?" Her voice trembled, scarcely louder than a whisper. “Is there any hope?”

The doctor paused, his look brimming with sympathy. “We will try all options, but it will be a lengthy journey.”

Cecilia nodded in a daze, her chest constricting under the enormous burden of everything. She was diagnosed with cancer. She couldn't control it and had no means to get away from it. It felt as though I was ensnared in a bad dream with no escape.

However, there was one thing she was aware of. She refused to allow this to break her. She refused to allow cancer to define her existence. Not if she could help it.

Present Day:

The recollection diminished, yet the weight persisted. Cecilia gasped, as though attempting to regain her breath. She gazed at her hands, the shaking still evident. Her eyes were hazy with uncried tears, although she attempted to blink them back.

Annie’s voice shattered the quiet, her worry clear as she shouted from the sofa. “Cecilia? "Are you alright?"

Cecilia's pulse quickened as she emerged from the haze, facing her friend. She put on a smile, but it didn’t touch her eyes. Certainly. Here it is: “Indeed.” Simply... pondering.

Annie lifted an eyebrow but chose not to inquire further. "Concerning what?"

Cecilia paused. She didn't wish to impose on Annie with this—didn’t want to go back to the past. Yet, when her eyes landed on her reflection in the mirror, she found herself reminiscing. Recall the anguish, the grief, the sensation of having lost all control. The illness, Andrew, the shattered fragments of her existence... Everything was interconnected in a tangle of confusion.

"I’m not sure," she murmured, ultimately confessing the reality to herself. "I simply feel... overwhelmed with everything."

Annie rose and approached Cecilia, a knowing expression in her eyes. "There's no need to let your current situation dictate your feelings or your life." Cecilia, hear me out; you are a powerful woman, and I truly believe you will succeed in this.

Cecilia acknowledged with a nod, appreciating the assistance. However, the reality was that she hadn’t genuinely permitted anyone to assist her. Not completely. She had bottled up everything, concealing the burden of it all behind a facade of resilience.

The wind wailed once more outside, and Cecilia sensed a shiver trace up her back. It felt as though the outside world mirrored the tempest within her soul. The unpredictability, the anxiety, the stress—it was overwhelming.

“I can’t continue escaping from this,” Cecilia declared, her tone more assertive now, although tinged with fear. “Yet, I’m uncertain about how to confront it.”

Annie inhaled deeply, her gaze filled with comprehension. "You don’t need to do everything in one go." "Simply take your time and do it one at a time."

Cecilia nodded, yet while she attempted to grasp Annie’s words, something troubled her.

Annie quickly changed the subject, wanting to uplift Cecilia’s spirits. “Do you recall the tale I shared regarding my husband, Marcus, who has declined to sign our divorce documents?”

Cecilia nodded, her forehead creased with slight curiosity. "Yes, I recall."

"Okay," Annie breathed out, combing her hair with her fingers, "I just discovered he’s currently employed at a hospital in Oakland. The issue is, I don’t know of the hospital's name. "Can you imagine that?"

Cecilia moved her head at a slight angle. "Alright, but you understand I'm still trying to comprehend this entire marriage of yours." Everything happened so fast that I don’t even know or have met this your estranged husband, and to be honest, I've always been curious if you both ever dated.

Annie emitted a resentful laugh. "Cecilia, I never wanted this union." Everything was organized by our parents. My parents and Marcus's parents believed that marrying us would enhance their business collaboration. "I had no influence in the decision." She hesitated, her tone laced with remorse. "There wasn't even a large celebration." No visitors, no friends, only close family. “It was an agreement, not a union.”

Cecilia reclined, taking in the impact of Annie’s words. "That seems... terrible," she whispered.

“If it hadn’t been contrary to my wishes, you would have been the first to know.” "You’re aware of that, aren't you?" Annie remarked, her tone gentle as she looked at her companion.

Cecilia nodded once more but remained silent. Annie scowled, observing Cecilia’s quietness. She leaned in and noticed her friend had dozed off, her expressions now calm and at ease. Annie offered a slight smile, thankful that Cecilia was able to find some relief after the chaotic day they endured.

Silently, she rose and crept out of the room, ensuring she wouldn't disturb her. As she went back to her own room, the burden of her issues weighed heavily on her.

Annie shut the door behind her, and the room felt unnervingly chilly. A feeling of discomfort slid up her back, as it frequently did lately. She shook her head, rejecting the sensation. It was likely fatigue.

Yet while she reclined in bed, her mind wandered, involuntarily, to Marcus. Regardless of it all, a part of her could not disregard how his intense gaze always appeared to penetrate her, as though he was aware of her most profound secrets. There had been instances, brief as they were, when his touch caused chills to run down her spine, not from fear, but from something else she couldn’t fully identify.

Why couldn’t he simply sign the documents and allow her to leave? Was it arrogance? Obstinacy? Or something more profound?

Annie’s mind raced as she struggled to find sleep. She sensed that she was confined, not merely in her marriage, but also in a tangle of feelings she didn’t completely grasp.

Out of nowhere, a distant howl cut through the night. Annie shot up suddenly, her heart racing. Hearing wolves in this region was not unusual, but the sound tonight caused a shiver to run through her body.