Chapter 02

AMELIA

“The foetus in her womb is healthy, the blood was a result of–“ the doctor's words faded into the distance as I gazed at the empty ceiling.

Six years of my life. Six years of promises. Everyone knew how much I loved him. I didn’t hold back. I never betrayed him. I never looked at another man, and I was glad he never looked at another woman.

In fact, there were days I would scroll through his phone just to prove a point to myself. Just so I could find a way for him to disappoint me, but he never did.

The other shoe never dropped. Well, until last night of course.

“Amy,” Joan’s voice pulled me from my trance.

I lazily gave them my attention. “What’s wrong with the baby?”

I knew something had to have happened from that terrible fall. Not only did Gregory steal the love from my life, but he tried to steal the life it had brought too.

“Nothing is wrong. You are fine,” she squeezed my fingers.

“Okay,” I murmured as I turned to the other side of the bed.

Wishing they would all disappear, I wrapped my arms around myself.

“Thank you, doctor. I’ll ensure she takes her medication, and avoids too much stress.” Joan said.

I scoffed. What was the point of the medication? Why should I let this child come into this world with such a father?

I heard footsteps recede and soon Joan’s skin on mine. “Amy, please talk to me. You didn’t say anything throughout the night, and even now.”

With a grunt, I pushed myself up. “I don’t hate gay men.”

“I know that.”

“I don’t even judge them.” I continued, “I don’t get why this is happening to me. I don’t steal, I don’t abuse people, I don’t bully. I think I can call myself a good woman.”

“Yes, you can, my darling.” Joan reaffirmed as her eyes softened with compassion.

“So, why does life have to be such a bitch to me?” I asked, hearing my voice crack.

Immediately, I clamped my lips shut.

I won’t cry over him. It wasn’t an option.

“Amy, life isn’t being a bitch to you. Darrel is. He is a fucking bastard.”

“I know.”

My legs crawled up to my chest as my face grew hotter. My lips quivered, and my fingers were clenched.

I just couldn’t let the tears win. No. It wouldn’t happen.

“He doesn’t deserve you.”

“I know, but I still love him.”

That was the hardest part. It wasn’t the words I heard him say to Gregory, or the smell of sex that filled my nose as I walked into the room that hurt me most. It was the yearning in my heart for a man who only used me as a cover up for his lifestyle.

“How could I have been so blind? Were there signs I didn’t see?”

Joan immediately took my hand in hers. “You cannot blame yourself for this.”

“But–“

“But nothing! What could you have done to change his sexuality? Do you think fucking him better would have done it?”

I give no answer.

“Even if you had fucked him thrice a day it wouldn’t have had any effect on his sexuality.”

“That’s true…”

Why did my heart still feel heavy?

She pulled closer, and wrapped her arms around me. “I love you, and I will always be here for you. No matter what. Okay? If anything, he should be ashamed.”

“Yes,” I agreed as I sniffed.

She pulled back, “You need to have the hard conversation with him now. You need to figure out the future of your child. He can’t avoid his responsibility.”

“I don’t want to do it.”

Thoughts of him already had me crawling towards the grave, seeing his face would kill me. I didn’t need that.

“I’ll go with you. You don’t have to say anything, I’ll do it all.”

I nodded, “that’s a better idea.”

Joan helped me into my clothes, and after settling with the nurses, she led me out of the hospital.

As we stood in the warm weather, Joan called a cab.

I pressed my lips together as I wiped the dust off my eyes. I truly wished I never found out. I wished the other shoe never dropped.

He should have just lied to me forever. How would I survive this?

Oh, God.

Like a zombie, I absentmindedly walked into the cab. Joan handled everything after that.

“Amy,”

“Hmm?”

“I really don’t want you worrying. I need you to focus on your child.”

“I will.” I responded with my head out the window.

Did safety even matter anymore? I couldn’t see myself surviving long enough to see this pregnancy till the end.

In no time, we arrived at his office. The tall building stood before us. I knew the exact door to walk into, the spot on the couch that was softest, where he kept the remote for the TV. Yet, my feet was glued to the floor.

“We can come back another day if you are not up for it.”

The right edge of my lip lifted in a snarky smile. I couldn’t say I was surprised she had decided to back out. This was scary as fuck to me.

I cleared my throat then turned to face her, “I can handle this. You’ve been with me all day, you should go and get some rest. I’ll call you when I am done.”

“Are you sure?” She asked, searching my eyes.

I knew I wasn’t, but I nodded. I didn’t need her here in case I decided to back down.

To my surprise, she argued no further. I felt her eyes on my back as I walked into the building.

As my feet moved forward, I disregarded every greeting, every smile, and every wave until I got to his office.

If I turned off this zombie mode, I’d find myself swallowed by my tears.

“Amelia,” he said as he got to his feet.

Great. I was now Amelia. No longer babe, or Amy. Amelia.

“Please excuse us,” he said to the people before him.

They took one look at my reddened face, broken nose, and his distraught reaction before they filed out.

Whatever their conclusion was, I wasn’t in the mood to clear it up.

“You are here,”

“I know,” I scratched my nose, as I dropped my bag.

“I assume you are here for a reason,” he treaded lightly with his words.

“Where is your best–lover?”

His eyes immediately darted around as if someone could have heard us in the room.

“Why are you here, Amy?”

“Now, your tone is stiff.” I chuckled to myself, “we need to talk about our child. What will be the financial situation?”

“We will have the child after our wedding, of course.”

“Please tell me that is some insane fucking joke.”

“No, it isn’t. Once we are married, I will cater to the child’s every need.”

“Darrel, we are done. You can fuck all the men you want, but I will not be a party to that.”

“Suit yourself then, but I won’t commit to a child not living under my roof.”

“Are you out of your fucking mind?”