Chapter 4

Tick tick tick.

Time flies, they say. Bullshit! For me, time was not flying, it was stuck in a damn moment! Anxiety was sneaking

it's way up in my mind and I was on the edge of being crazy.

The restaurant I was sitting in was nearly empty with only four people scattered around the table. Empty, was what I needed as my husband was coming to meet me here and we couldn't afford to be seen in public right now.

"Talk."

I snapped out of my thoughts at the commanding voice, Shraf's voice, the voice I love so much! His commands, I specially loved them when we were having sex.

Strip

Open your legs.

Kiss me.

Oh God, I get so lost whenever I think of him! I didn't even see when he walked in here.

"Eva." His impatient call, my forever patient husband was being impatient now.

I smiled.

Eva, get my tux out.

Yes

Eva, hold this meeting for me.

Yes

Eva, my black coffee. Eva, my schedule. Eva, my emails.

Yes, yes, yes! Yes to everything you say, yes to everything you want!

My one and only response to his every call.

"Yes?"

"Talk"

His most sentences were confined to one word, highest four. I stared straight into his eyes, grey fumes circling around, they would soon turn into fire, I knew.

"I don't want divorce."

There. That fire fumed awake in his grey orbs.

"The hell you don't!" He pursed his lips, his attempt to hide his rage. Who was he hiding from? I knew him like the back of my right hand.

"I don't. Even if you take me to the hearings, I won't agree to sign the papers."

"You can't stop this divorce, Eva. Just tell me what you want, more alimony? Or that yacht you love so much? I have no prob-

I laughed. I was laughing so hard, my chest shook as I tried to stop it, but to no avail. I ended up laughing more hard, tears falling along the line of my cheeks. Sneaky them, always finding their way outside.

"Do you really really think I want money from you? Is that how much you know me?! I am hurt, shraf."

Although the last sentence was supposed to be out as sarcasm, I was hurt. His words were knives, they stabbed my heart and twisted it around painfully.

"What do you want?"

"Five years." I said, my expression blank.

"What?" I swear the coffee cup in his grip would break down in any second. He was gripping it so hard in rage. For the first time in life I managed to evoke an emotion from him, even if it was rage, I was satisfied.

"What.Do.You.Mean?"

"I invested five years of my life in you, shraf. My hardwork, my devotion, my loyalty. I worked with you shoulder to shoulder, step to step to conquer what you have today. And what do I get in return, Shraf? A divorce?"

A breath left him, sending my hair slightly away from my forehead. That was a one deep breath.

"Look, Eva. I am utterly grateful for what you have done all these years. I will agree to any demand you want from me, I, in no way want to make your life hard. I don't."

"Then give those five years back to me, Shraf."

Give me back those moment I spent craving your love, your attention. Those nights I spent dreaming about the day you would say 'I love you' even for once, or those minutes when I would crave for your smile at me after I did something for you.

"Don't be childish."

"I am not being childish, Shraf. I want what's rightfully mine, these five years! No amount of your money can bring back those!"

"This is not fucking possible!"

It was not possible to love you this much either, I did anyway.

"30 days." I sipped my coffee, my fingers rubbing the warm mug.

"What?" My husband might lost count how many times I rendered him speechless today, but I didn't. I was fucking enjoying it.

"I want thirty days from you. For the next thirty days, you are mine. I get to touch you whenever I want, wherever I want. I get to kiss you goodbyes, hug you when we sleep"

And confess 'I love you' again and again to the end of the time, till you get tired, till you get used to the words like you are used to whoosh of air around you, till you could make out those words even if there were waves of screams all around you,till the last breath of my life.

"What's your fucking point?!"

"I want to live like a wife for once, Shraf. I've wasted these five years for nothing. I want to live the life I always wanted with you, a normal married life." I moved my hands over his, my first attempt to touch him without permission in these five years.

"Give me those thirty days, Shraf. I promise, I won't bother you after this. You know this is important for me."

"I never rejected your touches", The words were just whispers beneath his breath, yet I heard him.

"Yet you never allowed me touch you."

"For God's Sake, you don't need permission to touch me!" He shouted, I have never seen him losing his shit in life. Still, I was not going to back out.

"You have mysophobia, Shraf! I have seen you scrub your skin to blood when anyone touched you without permission. I would die if you reacted to my touch like that!"

"I would never hate your touch! I crave- fuck this. You need thirty days right? You got it! Do whatever you want to do!"

I was too in my head to notice any of his words, I just knew I succeeded to make him agree to this thirty days agenda and I wanted nothing else. Grabbing the bill book of my coffee, my husband tucked his money inside and turned to storm out.

"Wait! Sign this contract."

He exchanged his gaze to me and the contract on my hand, disbelief written on his face.

Thirty days or no divorce- the headline

Mandatories: 1. At least two kisses a day.

My husband didn't read more, his shocked face morphing into a comical expression as his eyes struck at me,

"You got to be fucking kidding me!"