Chapter Four

Chapter Four

Josie

I close the car door a little harder than I intended to and let out a breath. Gripping the steering wheel, I try to calm down.

“Are you mad?” Everly’s voice comes out in a shaky whisper.

“Yes,” I huff. “Not at you. I’m mad at the school for letting this go on as long as it did. They should have called me the second you reported it.” I let my hands slip down the steering wheel and turn the car on, desperately needing the air conditioning to blast my face. I know my cheeks are already red from anger. “Why didn’t you tell me you were being bullied?” I turn and face my daughter, heart aching. 

Everly looks at her folded hands in her lap, tears pooling in her eyes. “I…I thought I could handle it,” she squeaks out. “And I didn’t…I didn’t want to worry you. You’ve been busy with work and I know you’re tired.”

“Oh, honey.” Tears fill my eyes and I reach out and put my hand on Everly’s. “I’m never too busy for you. You know that. No matter what. It’s me and you, kid.” I sniffle and give her hand a squeeze. “I am always here for you. Good luck getting rid of me.”

Everly’s bottom lip trembles and she breaks as soon as she looks up and makes eye contact with me. I lean over, wrapping her in my arms.

“I hate it here,” she cries, face pressed against me.

“I know, honey.” Tears roll down my cheeks and I rub a hand up and down her back, trying to soothe her. “I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry, Mom.” She straightens up, wiping her eyes. Then she notices two girls standing a few cars over. They’re both snickering, and one has her phone out, recording Everly crying. Something inside me snaps, and I go to get out of the car, ready to grab the phone from their bratty little hands and smash it on the pavement.

“Mom, no!” Everly catches my arm. “Please, it’ll only make it worse!”

I stop, knowing she’s right. Mama Bear wants to come out, clawed paws swinging, but my anger won’t scare away the entitled bitches who are responsible for bullying my daughter. Leaning back against my seat, I inhale and slowly let my breath out.

Nothing can prepare you for becoming a mother—especially when you become one when you’re still a kid yourself—and nothing prepares you on how to handle something like this. I’m fighting a maelstrom of emotions and I want so desperately to break something.

But I can’t.

“Want to get fruit smoothies and go to White River Park?” I pull my seatbelt over my chest, shoving it into place with more force than necessary.

“No,” Everly says, sounding defeated. “I just want to go home.”

“Okay, but we’re at least picking up junk food on the way home.”

*

Pausing outside the door, I turn my head and listen to the steady tapping of the keyboard coming from Everly’s room. She humored me by eating our double order of extra-large French fries on the back patio with me, trying to convince me she’s fine.

But I know better because I know my daughter.

I wanted to give her space when she said she wanted to be alone, but I also know the suicide rates among teenagers who are bullied, and I’ve been sick to my stomach since we walked out of that school.

Knocking on the door, I wait for her to tell me to come in before opening the door a few inches.

“Yeah?” Everly asks, turning around from her little corner desk. She’s FaceTiming Alma and has closed whatever website she was on before I came into the room.

“Hi, Ms. Walker!” Alma says, waving at the screen.

“Hey, hun,” I say back and then turn my gaze on Everly. “Just seeing if you needed anything, Ev.”

“No. I’m good.”

“Okay.” I linger in the doorway for another few seconds before going back out, leaving the door cracked open. Letting out a sigh, I go into my room, change out of my dress and into loose pajama pants and a t-shirt. Then I go back downstairs, turn on my electric kettle and straighten up the kitchen while I wait for the water to heat up.

I make myself a cup of tea and take it out on the patio, glancing up and making sure Everly’s bedroom window is closed before sitting down and calling my sister.

“Hey, sis,” Louisa answers.

“Someone’s in a good mood.” I tuck my legs up and blow on my tea.

“Someone is. Because someone just got laid.”

“I thought Ruby left already.”

“No, her assignment got delayed due to some sort of outbreak at the basecamp.”

“Yikes.”

“Right? It hasn’t deterred her though. She’s as excited as a doctor going to a third-world country can be.”

“This is her, what, third or fourth time going overseas, isn’t it?”

“Fourth. At least she’ll only be gone for three weeks this time.”

“That’s good, though three weeks away from your spouse probably feels like forever. Not like I’d know what it’s like to be married.”

“Of course you’d make this about you,” Louisa says with a snort.

“Hah. Actually, I need to make this about Ev.” I take a small sip of my hot tea and set it on the little patio table. “And maybe get some legal advice from my lawyer sister.”

“Shit, what happened?”

My eyes fall shut and I feel sick again, fighting off the urge to run upstairs and check on Everly already. “She’s been the target of your typical mean girl bullying. It’s been going on for a while, Ev reported it to a teacher last week, and I was just informed by the school today. She didn’t say anything to me either.” My voice trembles. “She’s miserable and I’m scared—” I cut off, unable to allow myself to finish that thought. “She doesn’t have friends here, Lou. And she tries so hard to act like things are okay because she doesn’t want to upset me.”

Guilt hits me, causing me to lose my composure.

“Hey,” Louisa says gently. “It’s okay.”

“She shouldn’t feel like she needs to protect me,” I say, voice high pitched as I try not to cry. “I need to be the one protecting her.”

“Stop right there.” Louisa’s voice is firm. “I know where this is going and don’t. You’re a good mom, Josie.”

I let out a shaky breath. “She shouldn’t have to protect me,” I repeat. “She’s just a kid.”

“And so were you,” Louisa reminds me. “And you stayed. You did everything for that little girl, and you still do everything.”

“I try.” I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand and pick up my tea, fingers trembling even though it’s still hot outside. “We’re, um, planning to go see Aunt Kim this summer and right now I’m tempted to just leave in the morning and let Ev finish the school year remotely or something.”

“Do it.”

“What?” I ask even though I heard my sister clearly.

“Do it. I mean, if she really can finish remotely. You do most of your work from home, so go.”

“You…you…you’re encouraging me?” I sputter.

“I am. We weren’t all popular in high school like you were—”

I let out a snort of laughter. “I wasn’t popular at all. Though once I started showing people had an odd fascination with me.”

“Oh please. Being popular is what got you knocked up in the first place and landed you the quarter back. Fuck Josh. Just not literally. Not again.”

“Ugh. I shudder. “Never ever ever again.” I shake my head, still angered when I think of Josh, who’s nothing more than a sperm donor. Looking out at our tiny yard, tears fill my eyes again. “I don’t want to mess this up, Lou. And I honestly have no idea what I’m doing.”

“You’re doing your best. Do you need me to come down tomorrow? I have a million phone calls to make and can work on the drive.”

“No, spend time with your wife before she has to leave. Though if you both want to come down here, I wouldn’t object. I do miss you guys.”

“She’s on call tomorrow and I can already promise you she’ll get called in. Shootings are a dime a dozen here in Chicago.”

“People suck. Are you sure you both don’t want to quit your jobs and live off the grid with me?”

“You know, it’s kinda tempting. But I also like my bi-weekly massages and designer shoes.”

“You can still wear designer shoes. And I’m sure you can trade services with someone else on the compound for a massage.”

“Wait, we’re going from off the grid to a compound now?”

“Yeah. I need people to help take care of all the horses I’m going to rescue. Plus, I’m a terrible gardener. Actually, since it’s my idea, I’ll just ride horses and oversee the whole operation. Oh, I’ll be the compound general manager.”

Louisa laughs. “You get this all put together and I’ll be there. Are you sure you’re okay? I really can make the drive down tomorrow.”

“Thank you, but we’ll be fine. I think…I think I’m going to pack our bags tonight and surprise Everly in the morning with a trip to Silver Ridge.”