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The Sound of Laughter

Penulis: Proud
last update Tanggal publikasi: 2026-07-20 15:35:05

~ ALAN~

I rode up to Toby’s dorm building just past eight on Saturday morning.

The spare helmet was strapped securely to the back of my seat, and my pulse was racing faster than it usually did before a major game.

I wanted today to go well.

I wanted him to enjoy himself.

When Toby finally stepped through the glass doors of the building, he looked like he was walking toward a firing squad.

His face was pale, his shoulders were hitched up to his ears, and his fingers were tangled tightly into
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  • Black Ice   What Comes at Night

    ~ALAN~ The first dream was quiet. Toby was sitting on the edge of my bed in the dark, his golden hair falling into his eyes. He did not say anything at first. He just looked at me the way he always did when he was trying to be brave. I reached out and brushed the hair off his forehead. His skin felt warm under my fingers. He leaned into my hand like he had been waiting for it.“You came back,” he whispered.“I never really left,” I said in the dream.He smiled, small and soft, and I kissed him. Not like the dare. Longer. Slower. His hands came up and held the front of my shirt like he was afraid I would disappear. I woke up with my heart slamming against my ribs and my mouth dry. For a few seconds I still felt the shape of him against me. Then the shame came in hot and fast. I sat up in the dark and pressed my palms into my eyes.“It is just a dream,” I told myself. “It does not mean anything.”The next night it happened again.This time we were on the empty ice after a game. Th

  • Black Ice   Questions I'm Scared to Ask

    ~TOBY~Parish texted me two days after the coffee shop. He just said, "Same place, same time?" I stared at the message for a long minute before I typed back "okay." Part of me wanted to say no. Talking about my feelings still felt like walking on thin ice, like one wrong word could make everything crack open. But another part of me, a smaller and braver part, wanted to go back.The café smelled like cinnamon and coffee beans when I walked in. Parish was already sitting at the same corner table, two cups steaming in front of him. He waved me over like it was the most normal thing in the world, like I hadn't spent the whole walk over here trying to talk myself out of coming."I got you the same drink as last time," he said, sliding the cup toward me. "I hope that's okay.""It's perfect," I said, and I meant it. I sat down across from him and wrapped both hands around the warm cup, the way I always did when I needed something to hold onto.For a while we just talked about nothing. He

  • Black Ice   The Shape of a Truth

    ~PARISH~I knew what was happening between Alan and Toby long before either of them were ready to say it out loud.It was in the way Alan watched Toby when he thought no one was looking. It was in the way Toby's whole body seemed to lean toward Alan even when they stood apart. After the kiss, the truth sat even clearer. Alan was running from it. Toby was blaming himself for it. And I recognized both reactions too well.Watching them took me back to high school in a way I did not enjoy.I remembered the boy I had loved when I was seventeen. His name was Daniel. He had a quiet smile and kind hands, and for a few months he made me feel like the world was softer than I had been taught. I was too scared to call it love. My family went to a strict church every Sunday. They talked about right and wrong like the words were simple. So I smiled at girls I did not care about and told Daniel we were only friends. I watched him wait for me to be brave. I never was. By the time I finally u

  • Black Ice   The Space Between

    ~THIRD PERSON~Toby noticed the change before anyone explained it to him. One day Alan had been beside him at lunch, walking him home, sending short messages that made the day feel less heavy. The next day those things simply stopped. At first Toby told himself Alan was only busy with hockey. Then the silence stretched across two days, then three, and the careful excuses he made for Alan began to fall apart.He sat alone at their usual cafeteria table and stared at the empty seat across from him. The sandwich on his tray stayed untouched. Every few minutes he checked his phone, hoping for a message that never came. When a group of students walked past laughing, he curled his shoulders in and tried to become smaller. Without Alan’s steady presence, the old feeling of being invisible and unsafe crept back into his chest.At night in his dorm room Toby replayed everything. He remembered every quiet conversation by the lake, every time Alan had waited for him after work, every soft s

  • Black Ice   Distance

    ~ALAN~I started avoiding Toby the very next day. It was not something I planned with clear steps. It just happened because every time I thought about seeing him, the memory of the kiss rushed back and made my chest feel too tight. So I began making small changes. I left for morning practice earlier than usual. I took different paths across campus. When lunchtime came, I stayed in the weight room instead of meeting him at our usual table.My phone buzzed with a message from him around noon.Toby: ‘Are you coming to lunch today?’I stared at the words for a long time. My thumb paused over the keyboard. In the end I locked the phone without answering and put it face down on the bench. The guilt sat heavy in my stomach, but the fear was stronger. If I sat across from him and saw his soft green eyes, I did not trust myself not to remember the exact shape of his mouth.At practice that afternoon Coach watched me skate harder than usual. I took extra shots. I stayed late for more drills

  • Black Ice   The Shape of a Kiss

    ~TOBY~I woke up the next morning with the feeling of Alan's lips still on mine.For a few seconds I just lay in bed staring at the ceiling of my dorm room, my heart already beating too fast. The soft morning light came through the thin curtains, but nothing about the day felt normal. I sat up slowly and pressed my fingers against my mouth without thinking. The skin there still tingled, like the kiss had left a mark only I could feel.I dropped my hand and tried to breathe steadily. 'It was only a dare. Parish had said so. Everyone had laughed about it afterward. But my body did not believe that.'My body kept remembering the exact moment Alan's mouth met mine, the careful way he had leaned in, and the way I had stopped being afraid for those thirty seconds.Getting dressed felt strange. I pulled on my shirt and noticed my hands were not steady. When I brushed my teeth, I caught myself staring at my own reflection and touching my lower lip again. The memory played over and over—A

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