Chapter 11

Camila

With my pulse racing, I ignored the weary stares of my parents, hit the green icon, and lifted my backpack from the floor. In the few minutes since I’d lain it down, the bag had tripled in weight. Maybe it was the heaviness of my future that I was feeling. “Cat, espere por favor,” I said, keeping my eyes downcast and making my way out of Papá’s office.

Rushing past Sergio, I sprinted toward my bedroom. The home where I’d lived all my life was but a blur. Once inside my bedroom, I slammed the door and turned the lock. I wasn’t under the misconception that a simple knob lock would keep my father or his guards out of my room if they wanted in. I just hoped the lock would be respected.

“Cat” —emotions bubbled in my voice— “do you know?”

“Are you alone?”

I froze and my chest seized at the sound of the baritone tenor, the one I immediately recognized. As I tried to form words, the dam broke on my emotions, tears spilling from my eyes and my voice cracking as I uttered his name. “Dante?”

“I wanted to talk to you before you were given the news.”

My temples throbbed from the concoction of emotions. “Papá just told me. I don’t want to marry Rei. I want…”

“The next word better be me. You want me.”

I nodded despite the fact he couldn’t see me. “It is you, Dante. I want you.”

“Tell me that’s your honest reply, and I’ll move heaven and earth to make you mine.”

Closing my eyes to the familiarity of my pink-painted walls as well as the pictures and posters I loved, more tears cascaded down my cheeks. “I never thought I wanted to marry, not until you.”

“This isn’t over, Camila. Not by a long shot.”

My hands trembled as I held tight to the phone, sat on the end of my bed, and lay back, staring up at the slowly whirling ceiling fan. “Papá said it was set” —I didn’t want to say it aloud— “with Rei.”

“Fuck, I wish I was with you in California. This is a mistake. I had both Jorge’s and Dario’s approval.”

“You did?” I sat up. “What happened? How did this go so wrong?”

“I don’t know. I agreed to all the stipulations.”

“Stipulations?”

“Mostly that you could continue working on your degree. I don’t want to stop your dream.”

“Right now,” I said, “it feels like my dream has been ripped away.”

“Will you trust me?”

“I want to.”

“I’ll make this right.”  

“What can I do? I told my parents I’m” —did I want to admit this?— “I’m in love with someone else. Not Rei. They didn’t care.”

Before Dante could respond, an explosion of voices erupted at his end of the call. Holding my breath, I waited.

“Dante?”

“Camila, it’s me.”

The sound of my sister’s voice caused a smile to come to my lips. “Cat. Can you help us?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t know. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Why didn’t I tell her?

I didn’t tell her or anyone because Dante was my impossible dream. A man so incredibly handsome, simply looking his direction caused my core to twist and my panties to dampen. A man with the edge of danger who was also kind and funny. When he looked at me, I felt like I was all he could see, his whole world, despite the Mafia’s demands on his time.

Even my thoughts were insufficient to describe the way he made me feel. From the first time I saw him, the night before Cat and Dario’s wedding, I was enamored. After my first visit to Kansas City, I was awestruck. However, it was after our first kiss, after I shamelessly rubbed against his body made of hard muscles that I knew my heart had made its choice.

“Camila?”

I concentrated on the noise behind my sister. “Are Dario and Dante arguing?”

The noise disappeared. “They’re discussing.”

“Me. They’re discussing me.”

Cat’s voice came through without the background noise as if she’d moved away from the men or they’d moved away from her. “Dario told me that Dante requested you. I was afraid you didn’t know about it.”

“That’s what Mama said. She was afraid to let another daughter go to the famiglia. Cat, I love Dante. I think I do. I want to marry him, not Rei.”

“Rei is closer to your age.”

The lunch I’d eaten long ago churned in my stomach. “You’re encouraging me to consider Rei?”

“It’s nothing you can consider. Papá went to Jorge when he heard about Dante’s proposal. El Patrόn agreed to change his mind. He recognizes that the cartel needs to focus on its inner strength. After what Gerardo did, your marriage to Rei will reaffirm the Ruiz commitment to the cartel. You’ll help Papá’s and Uncle Nicolas’s standing.”

“Their loyalty should speak for itself. I don’t want to be a bargaining chip, something to cement their loyalty.”

“Camila, Rei is nice. Aléjandro has shown a different side of himself to Mia. I believe if he can be a good husband, Rei can too.”

“I told you.”

“You didn’t,” she protested. “If you had, I could have helped. Mama thought she was doing what was best for you.”

I shook my head. “No, the day of your engagement party. Remember?”

“You didn’t even know Dante then.”

Swallowing, I took a deep breath. “I told you that I didn’t want to marry because Papá or el Patrόn said I should. I wanted to marry for love.”

Catalina exhaled. “Love and lust are two different things.”

Springing to my feet, I clenched my teeth. “You don’t think I know what love is? You think I’m too young.”

“Camila…”

“No, Cat. I saw that Dario loved you before you were willing to see it. I might be young, but I know what love is. I know that the stolen moments Dante and I have shared were more than lust.”

“What?” her voice was hushed. “What have you two done? Oh Lord. If Papá finds out…”

“We kissed. That’s it.” Mostly. He also gave me the best orgasm of my life. “I wanted to decide who I would share my first kiss with. I chose Dante and I’m choosing him again.” When Cat remained quiet, I added, “The day of your engagement party, you told me that if you and Em had a say in my future, I could…I could marry for love. You’re married to the capo dei capi. Help me. Help us.”