Tom doesn’t return home for the night. On my burner phone I track April on social media via the burner phone and a fake account. Although her account is private, she lets me view it.It’s picture after picture of her and Tom, or her and gifts from Tom, or her and places Tom has taken her.A few of the pictures are taken outside the mental hospital. The captions under each post are hauntingly painful. There’s pictures with each other’s families and friends.Groups of people in the comments gushing over how in love they are.Last night’s late night post is a picture of her and Tom smiling, and sharing a bowl of ice cream. It’s a little unclear where they are because they’re against a white and brown wall.But Tom’s smile is peaceful and happy. It rips my stomach into two.My entire body shakes and trembles.The caption says “I understand and forgive you. No matter where you go, you always come back to me” and in a post under that from the day before is her and Tom buying baby stuff.The
I lay on my back as the echo from the shower rings through the room. I desperately try to prepare myself for what my mind is trying desperately to avoid—I was only Tom’s replacement tonight.As if to aid me in this realization, his phone starts buzzing on the nightstand. I ignore it at first but then answer.I don’t have a chance to speak before I hear April’s shrill voice on the other end, “owe—Tommy… I’m still so sore from last night…” My heart stops and I feel my lungs clench, “but are you sure you are okay slumming it for tonight? I can suffer through the pain if you really can’t stand touching her.”I open my mouth but then shut it. What do you even say to that? I look at the contact to make sure it’s from who I think it’s from.It is.April moans again in pain, “and we don’t want to hurt our baby. Maybe it’s best you just come to me tonight… if it’s not too late. Hmm?”I open my mouth. Nothing can come out. Do I let her know she’s humiliating me? Do I give her that satisfaction?
We are silent through the rest of dinner. I can’t help but look around as if our solitude could be disturbed at any moment.Near the end, after he serves a store-bought dessert, I say, “whatever you told the police, take it back.”“What?” He must be lost in thought because his words are light and confused.“They didn’t take me seriously. What if I’m in real danger?”“You call me, not them.”“Do you remember when I fell asleep on a train and ended up 2 cities away? My phone had 4% battery, I hadn’t brought my purse or wallet, and I called you to come get me.” I ask.He makes a face, “no?”“It was about 3 years ago.” I remember it clearly, “you said you couldn’t because April’s mom was in the hospital and you needed to take care of her.”His eyes dart side to side and his forehead furrows, “why…”“I called you and you told me to stop being jealous. And you said that April’s mom had always been there for you growing up and you needed to support their family. Then my phone died and I had
I asked Anna to stop and get me a baseball bat before taking me home. I’m cautious approaching the door.For all I know, there’s a group of doctors and police inside waiting to arrest me. I need to be ready to escape.Armed with a ready bat, I enter the house.There’s a strange scent, almost like burnt fish. I snap around quickly trying to figure out where Liam and Harry are. They aren’t here.As I walk in further, someone finally walks into my sights.I swing the bat but he jumps and dodges with a disgruntled gasp.“What are you doing?!” Tom snaps as he catches the bat as I reset my stance. In his other arm, he holds a tray of some kind of food.“Where are they?” I look around again.“Where are who?” He tugs the bat from my hands but I don’t let it go without a fight.When he finally pulls it back, he puts it and the tray on a table in the entrance. Then he grabs me by the shoulders and mumbles, “I forgot, you’re insane.” As he leads me to the kitchen.He’s set up a candle lit dinner
“You don’t have to go back unless you want to.” Anna says.Some morbid part of me wants to. I want him to love me. I want him to choose me. I want him to want me. I just know that these wants will never be my reality. They’re April’s reality.She had two years to monopolize him and she’d taken it.I’m just a formality.Anna leaves with Hailey to go get me a phone and contact the PI. I sit on the couch in silence until Carson walks in.He sits beside me, appearing nervous. He says, “so what job were you hoping to get?”“Anything. I’d prefer something that lets me care for my baby but… anything.”He hesitates more, then says, “recently… recently I was promoted. And I received offers to work with research groups in addition to my current work at the hospital.”“That’s really nice. I’m very proud of you,” I try to keep my voice sweet and not let it show that I had completely forgotten to consider how he might be doing recently.He nods then says, “thank you… I’ll be really busy though. So
We all stare at Carson in shock.He shuffles awkwardly and says, “I’m a doctor. I easily could’ve visited you while you were in there. I can forge a DNA test too. So long as Tom’s not the father, he can’t do anything.”I open my mouth but no words come out.Anna speaks first, “that’s a great idea!”“Wouldn’t that threaten your job?” Hailey asks.“It shouldn’t. If she consents. The court will have no reason to challenge us if we both agree to be the parents and we have a report. I was never your direct physician.” Carson struggles to meet my eyes but he does try.I hesitate further. The offer is tempting but I have to keep a level head about it.Finally, I say, “the courts might not pursue it but Tom will. Even if we can hide the lie, he’ll come after you just in retribution. He’ll sue me for infidelity. I’d never be able to pay him back. The only options would be prison or staying with him.”“Didn’t you already tell him he wasn’t the father?” Hailey wonders.“Yes, but he didn’t believ