Nate
I was afraid, I thought he wouldn't understand the situation, but Will is always surprising me. When he took me to the bathroom, I thought he was angry, that he would scold me and say that I was making a fool of this girl.
— I know, I saw everything, and I heard what she said! — Hearing this my expression changed, I felt a great relief, and he approached me and continued. — There's something I want to know! From what she said, you couldn't go all the way, why?
I stare at him a little surprised, lower my head, look away, and then at him. I know that by telling him the reason, the teasing will increase, but I also can't lie to myself, I like it when he teases me.
— Because I only thought about you!
NateThis will not work!His hand goes up to my chest, caressing me lightly. Holy shit, am I getting hard just from this? Will moves his hand down to my pant leg. Isn't it possible that he's going to do what I'm thinking? He's going to do what I think he's going to do! As our mouths don't seem to want to be apart anymore, he pulls the coz out of his pants and puts his hand inside.— No Will, stop! — I say and turn away from him, who looks at me without understanding nothing. — What did I do wrong?— This is going too far!— Too far away? We are dating, do you remember that?— I know, but I don't think I'm ready for sex.
Nate— You want to have sex with me, you just haven't done it yet because you know you're going to be on the bottom, and you're afraid to assume that you want to be the passive!— What?I hear a little way off someone say "Wake up Nate! ". I open my eyes and quickly sit up in bed. I run my hands through my hair, my breathing is labored. I look next to me, and a pair of drawn eyes watch me intently. He touches my hand, and strokes it.— Is everything okay?
Nate— The passive? — asks, and I nod my head. — You know that homo-affective relationships are not like in Bl's, nor in Yaoi anime and manga?— I know, but I still have a lot of doubts about it!— So, in these stories there is the seme protector with the macho way, and the uke fragile that needs to be protected, all this is to make a comparison with heteronormativity. And it's not like that, what can happen between you and Will, will depend on the two of you talking, reaching a consensus, allowing yourself, and the best? To surrender to the passion.— I need to talk to him more, but I feel ashamed, it's weird because it wasn't like this when I was dating girls.
WillNate's embrace is so comforting. I feel that I am protected, and that nothing will affect me if he is by my side. It may sound too romantic, or even desperate, but that is exactly what I have become after rejecting feelings, sensations, and especially my sexuality. Since I decided to bet on an acting career, besides playing a character as confused as I was in the past, all this has pushed me to understand myself, to accept who I am and to be sure of what I want.When I met this guy who turned my head, I lost the fear of feeling everything that I had previously repudiated, because I was led to believe it was wrong. I don't want to live like that anymore, pretending to be okay, being someone I wasn't, even though I still can't assume that I have a boyfriend.
NateTouching him, providing pleasure and hearing his moans is something indescribable. I had never been with a guy before, so I feel different, but in an extremely happy way. "Come on bunny!", as soon as I ask, he lets out a desperate moan and watching him explode in pleasure was delicious. I watch every detail of my boyfriend, he breathes breathlessly, and opens a satisfied smile when his gaze meets mine, I smile back. I caress his face, he opens and closes his eyes, and then stares at me.— Do you want me to do it on you?— Are you tired?— Don't worry about it! — he answers, and I hand him some paper to clean up the re
NateA few days have passed, after the declarations, besides the intense moments that we had in the living room, in my bedroom, and in the bathroom. I can say that our relationship has evolved a lot, and the confused ideas that I had in my mind no longer absorb me so much, however, we still haven't reached our final destination. I believe that we need to experience some stages in order to reach the apex, and I have been thinking about this for a while, ever since Will assured me that he didn't mind being active, passive or flexible.We are working too much, and he usually sleeps at my house on the weekends, for him, I would sleep every day, and this has become a routine, I confess that I like it too much when he sleeps here, always hugging me. Being in love sometimes makes you a little stupid, and I believe I a
NateI look toward the door, and there are Will and my mother. I let go of Oat, and he hands me his cell phone.— Oat, how are you, dear? You and Nate don't change, always the same stupid jokes... — except for my mom, at least I think, because my boyfriend's face doesn't look so good. I stand up and approach him.— What's going on here, Nate? — his voice sounds like a whisper.— Nothing, it's just that Oat wanted to get my cell phone at all costs, and I was trying to stop him.— Lying on top of him? That's a pretty strange way to keep him from getting your cell phone, don't you think?
NateMe: If by chance I want to, what do I do?Oat: you know that you need to do a cleaning process so you don't run the risk of having some surprisesMe: I know thatbut I don't know how to do it exactlyOat: I'll send you some videos later, don't forget the condomAnd most importantly the lubricantMe: Right tell mesomething, does it hurt a lot