Chapter 1

I know it's a bad idea to go home now. Even after eight years, I can still feel their disdain burning holes through me. For them, I am a bad example for my sister—a shameful woman who'd rather collect trash than live off their wealth. They wanted me to be a nun. It's not that I don't want to get closer to God. I just can't stand the fakery, putting on a show of holiness just for a title. And the people there? Let’s just not talk about it.

I heard my parents forced my sister into a religious academy. I haven't seen her in so long. We have no communication; they've completely erased me from their lives. I wasn't even allowed to visit her when she was in the convent. Both of my parents are well-known tycoons. They are also known as religious people. I guess it runs in our blood, because my female cousins are already serving as nuns in the church.

My parents expected me to be like my cousins or my sister—timid and holy. But no matter how hard they pushed, I couldn't last. Just the thought of being stuck in a convent sends a shiver down my spine. If I could choose never to come back here, I would. I heard from one of our maids that my sister pleaded to stay in a dormitory. My mom and dad also transferred her to a religious school. I don't even know how she managed to convince them; once they've made up their minds, nothing can change it.

I'm on my way to the dormitory now, hoping to surprise my sister. The guards didn't know me, and a little extra cash was all it took to get me through. I didn't want to go straight to the house since she's no longer there. It wasn't her dream to come here; it was mom's decision. She just turned 19 today, and I want to give her a present. It’s not much, but I worked hard for it, with my own sweat and hustle. I've been working part-time at a café, saving up for this car for a long time. My mom never allowed her to have a car even with all their money, which is good because it gave me a reason to see her today and give her my gift.

The moment I stepped into the dormitory, the judgmental stares of my mom's friends greeted me. They were women who once served in the church and then married into money, and now they act like they're above everyone. I greeted them, but like my mom, they refused to accept my choices. They looked at me as if I was dirt.

“Oh dear, looks who's here? What are you doing here, honey? Are you going to study now?” one of them asked, the insult sharp in her voice.

"How did she even get in?" I heard one of mom's friends whisper. I didn't know what they were doing here. This wasn’t their turf.

“I came through the door. Are you blind?” I shot back at the lady who looked at me with disgust, as if her own daughter wasn't an addict.

My eyes landed on my mom's best friend. I remembered how she used to push me down the stairs because I always outshone her daughter in school. Looking at this old woman, you wouldn't find a single thing to criticize. Besides her respectable clothes, Satan's horns were perfectly hidden.

"Hello, Aunt Beth. It’s been a long time. Is your daughter still stupid?" A smirk tugged at my lips.

"Your mouth hasn't changed, my dear. It looks like you need to return to the Lord," she said, a sickly-sweet tone masking her venom.

"I heard your sweet daughter is pregnant?" I said, raising an eyebrow.

"You must have heard wrong. My daughter is in America right now, on vacation with her rich boyfriend,” she boasted, her chin high.

"I met her in LA last week. Do you want to know what I discovered?" I leaned in, my voice dropping to a whisper, my mouth close to Aunt Beth’s ear. "She was a stripper there. Dancing with no clothes. Hanging out with people who do drugs. Did you know that? Or are you just covering it up?" My grin widened as I watched her face.

Aunt Beth’s face immediately turned crimson. She must have thought I’d let them trample all over me. I have my own ways of knowing all the dark secrets of their children. She just had bad luck that when I met her daughter, she was begging me for help because she was pregnant with an unknown man’s baby.

"Aba, Maria, patawarin ka sana sa mga biro mo." She suddenly made the sign of the cross, along with her friends who had the same issues with their children.

"Wait, didn't you used to dance in a club? I guess you stopped? It's so embarrassing for your parents." One of them spat.

"Oo, at alam mo kung sino-sino ang customer na palaging nandoon?" My lips curved into a wicked smile. "Lahat ng mga asawa niyo."

Their faces turned a fiery red. They clearly didn't expect my greeting. I wasn't here for them, but these four old women were starting to get on my nerves.

"Malandi kang babae ka!" Mrs. Smith's friend, who looked clueless about her husband, quickly held her back.

"Oo, malandi nga ako. Pero ang mga asawa niyo ang sisihin niyo dahil sila itong kusang pumasok sa lungga ng tigre. Sige po! Ingat!" I turned to walk away. Just before I completely left, I glanced over my shoulder, a mocking smile playing on my lips. "Sabihin niyo na rin po sa mga asawa niyo na may libreng tuli sa center. Baka sakaling may pag-asa pang lumaki. Bye!"

I heard them calling for a medic as two of my mom's friends fainted. A laugh escaped my lips. My friend from the club once told me that their husbands had never even been circumcised. And yet they still had the gall to ask for a 6th round. If you ask me, even one round would have taken them down. In a war of insults, it was better for them to keep quiet and pretend they didn't know me. They started it, and I was going to finish it.

I found Finn leaning against a post, a raised eyebrow on his face. Like my other cousins, he was also forced to serve in the church because his parents blackmailed him. Most of my male cousins can't stand by their own decisions.

"What did you do to your chakarit Aunt Beth this time?" he asked in a soft, musical voice.

I laughed. He didn't used to sound like this. Among all the gay men I've met, he's the number one beauty queen, so it was jarring to hear his masculine voice.

“Wala. Binati lang namin ang isa’t-isa.”

"Greeted? It's obvious that Satan wanted to come out of Aunt Beth's body."

"She was provoking me, so I gossiped about her daughter."

"Gaga! Why did you do that?"

"She was provoking me!"

"True. If I were in your shoes, I probably would have pulled her hair out!"

"Gago!" We both burst into laughter.

"By the way, why are you here and not in your paradise?"

"The board transferred me. They hired me as one of the respected teachers here to teach sex education." he rolled his eyes.

"That's good, edi paldo-paldo ka rito."

“Bruha ka!” he whispered, before smiling sweetly at the nuns we passed.

“Ang plastik mo,” I said to him once we were alone on the terrace.

“Oo, alam ko. I really want to leave this place, ‘bhie!” he whined, a pout on his lips.

“Then leave. Who's stopping you? Your mother has passed on and you have your family's inheritance. What are you waiting for?”

“Ano kasi!” He pouted at me, his eyes widening.

“What?” Suspicion crawled up my spine. That look meant there was something going on. I stepped closer to him, a judgmental gaze sweeping over his whole being.

"May lalaki ka rito, 'no?"

“Parang—Parang ganoon na rin.” He grabbed my hand. “Kasi naman, ‘bhie, ang laki ng ano niya tapos ang sarap pang humalik. Paano ako makakaalis niyan?”

I knew it. I didn’t want to hear what he was going to say next. I thought he had changed his ways and truly become a priest serving the church.

"I am trying to fight temptation. And do you know, his companion is so handsome. He looks like a model and he's also a nun-snatcher." He suddenly went silent, his eyes wide.

I shot him a quick, sharp look. “Ano’ng sabi mo?”

“Ah ano… hehehe… may sinabi ba ‘ko?” he stammered, his cheeks flushing.

"You did, are you crazy?" I snapped.

"Bhie, you know that right?" he asked softly.

"My sister. She went into the convent before."

"Huh? Why didn't I know about that?" His eyebrows shot up in confusion.

I bit down hard on my lip. I prayed my suspicion wasn't right.

"How can you not know? Didn't my mom tell you?"

"No. I thought she entered the academy here."

"She was in the convent for a year. That's all I know."

"If she was in the convent where I came from, I would have seen her. But no. Tita didn't say anything either."

"Hindi ka ba nagtataka?" I tried to connect the ideas in my head. "Mom wouldn't just take my sister out unless she insisted on leaving. But why? She told me in her letter that she was doing well."

"You were writing to each other?"

"Yes, on the day she entered the convent. She told me she was doing well. That the nuns treated her well and that she was also a favorite of the priests."

My hand curled into a tight fist. Just from that part of her letter, I knew something was wrong. But I thought back then, my sister was mom's favorite. She wouldn't put her daughter in danger.

"But all letters go through the board. They only release the letters at the end of the month. You know life is strict inside the convent. After her letter, was she able to write to you again?"

"Yes. But after three months, she suddenly stopped communicating. Even though I wrote every day, I didn't hear any news from her."

"Could Tita have something to do with this?"

"It's not impossible. Mom is rich; she has many connections inside and out."

"Oh my gosh! Tita might not have given her your letters?"

I bit my lip again, the skin taut.

"Do you have contact with all the convents here?" My voice was tight with unease.

"Oo, wait. Gumawa ako ng listahan niyan noon." His voice was a casual hum, but my brows furrowed in suspicion.

“Huwag mo nga akong tingnan nang ganyan. Para ito sa sarili ko. Just in case na gusto kong lumipat,” he said defensively.

“Talaga lang ha? Sure kang hindi iyan para sa mga lalaki mo?” I challenged, a wry grin on my face.

"Ano ba? ikaw na nga itong tinutulungan!" he said with an exasperated sigh.

"Sabi ko nga." I took his small notebook and snapped a picture of all the information on my phone. I tried calling my sister using their dorm phone, but no one answered. I clenched my fist, the anger a hot, tight ball in my stomach. I just hoped I was wrong, otherwise, I would kill whoever ruined her future. Even if it's a priest. I heard a sacristan call for Finn, so he had no choice but to go with him, leaving me to head to my sister's dorm. My breath was ragged as I reached for the door handle. I stopped dead when I heard Mom’s voice.

"You know him..." was all I caught my mom saying to my sister.

“Mommy, I didn’t want that!” It was my sister's voice, laced with so much desperation it made my stomach churn.

“You didn’t?” My mom's voice was flat, almost bored.

"Mommy, I really didn’t want that. It’s not my fault."

“And whose fault do you think it is? The priest? The sacristan?” My grip on the doorknob tightened, my knuckles turning white.

"Mommy…"

"Oh, or is it because you tempted all of them, so he touched you?" Her voice was cold, filled with rage and disappointment.

"Mommy, believe me. Hindi ko po talaga alam. Hindi ko rin po ginusto iyon. Biktima lamang ako, Mommy. Maniwala ka!"

I froze, my breath catching in my throat at Melisa's confession. “He”? So she has an idea of who violated my sister? I didn't expect her to be this cruel! She knew her daughter would be in danger, but she still forced her to go in there. But what shocked me the most was the hard slap my mom gave my sister and her next words.

“Ipalaglag mo ang bata. Huwag mo nang hayaang umabot ito sa kanya. Masyado ka pang bata para riyan. What will my friends say about me, that I have a rebellious and foolish daughter who got pregnant by some random man?”

My mom’s voice was unnervingly calm, but her words were like daggers, slicing right through my sister. My grip on the doorknob tightened even more. She hasn't changed. She walked out of Melisa’s room, a woman of power and authority in her red dress and light lipstick. Her gaze was still the same one that almost killed me—the same look she gave me when I tried to explain myself, thinking she would believe me. But no. She despised me for lying to her and made it seem like it was my fault why those scoundrels were able to touch and try to violate me.

A smirk played on the corner of her lips before her eyes found me. "It's good that you're here. Convince your sister to abort the baby so you can be of some use," she said, before sweeping past me and leaving. I took a sharp, shaky breath to calm myself down. I quickly turned my full attention to my sister, pushing the door open.

“Ate…” she sobbed, throwing her arms around me.

“Ayaw kong ipalaglag ito,” she cried, her voice muffled against my chest.

“Who’s the father of the baby? Is it the priests?” The words came out in a rush. She stopped and pulled away from me. Her hands were trembling, her whole body shaking. I held her by the shoulders, my voice as calm as I could make it. “Sino, Melisa? Tell me. I'll believe you,” I convinced her. She was terrified, and I wanted her to feel like she had an ally. I wanted her to feel the kind of support my mom should have given me back then.

“Ate, natatakot ako.” She sobbed, her body wracked with tremors.

"Huwag kang matakot, nandito na ako. Hindi kita pababayaan. Sabihin mo sa akin sino sa mga pari na iyon ang gumalaw sa iyo?" I insisted, my voice low and firm.

"Ate, natatakot ako. Natatakot ako..." she repeated, her eyes wide with terror.

"Melisa, walang magagawa ang takot mo kung hindi mo sasabihin sa akin kung sino ang nangbastos sa iyo." My tears started to fall. I was so angry, a white-hot rage building inside me. Of all people, why my sister? Whoever did this would pay, even if it was a priest.

"Saang kumbento ka dinala ni mommy?" I held her shoulders tightly, trying to get through to her. She didn't answer, just cried out loud.

"Answer me, Melisa. Sagutin mo ako!" I pleaded.

"H-Hindi ko pwede sabihin, ate... Hindi pwede..." she choked out.

"Bakit!? Tell me! I want to help you!"

"Papatayin niya kami. Maging ang angkan natin. At maging ikaw, hindi makakaligtas sa kamay niya." Her eyes, full of extreme fear, told me everything I needed to know. The person behind this wasn't just anyone. "Naiintindihan mo ba ako?! Papatayin tayong lahat ng halimaw na iyon!"

I hugged her tightly, holding her shaking body. “Tumahan ka na. Stress is bad for the baby. Doon ka na muna sa bahay ko. Hindi ka niya gagalawin doon.”

"You do not understand me..." She pulled away from my embrace.

"I understand you. Pakiusap, sa bahay ka na muna at baka ano pa ang gawin ni Mommy sa iyo."

"Mommy won't harm me, ate."

"Melisa. I heard her. Gusto niyang ipalaglag ang bata. Iyon din ba ang gusto mo?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper. She fell silent, her eyes darting away from mine.

"Mommy will handle this, ate."

"Melisa, listen to me! Si Mommy? Wala siyang ibang iniisip kundi ang sarili niya!" My voice rose, the frustration boiling over.

"Wala ka nga talagang alam, ate." Her words were a shield.

"Melisa, please. I know Mom favors you. Can you just listen to me for once? Kaya na kitang buhayin. Hinding-hindi na kita iiwan tulad noon.” I pulled her into another hug, holding her tight. That day I left her, I knew her life would never be the same in my mom's hands. I know my mom. I know she will do everything for her own benefit.