The Hardest Goodbye

Emma's POV

Twenty-four hours felt like twenty-four years.

I sat on my dorm room floor. Wet tissues were all around me. I had to make an impossible choice. The pregnancy test was on my desk next to Margaret's check. Both things seemed to be laughing at me. My phone kept making noise with Jake's sweet good morning messages. Each text felt like a knife going deeper into my chest.

I could not ruin his life. I just could not.

If I told Jake about the baby, I knew exactly what would happen. He would drop everything. His dreams, his career, his whole future. He would stay with me and raise our child. He would give up his NHL dreams without thinking twice. That was the kind of man he was. Good. Always thinking of others. Too good for his own good.

But his mother was right about one thing. Jake was about to become great. Scouts were already calling him. They were ready to give him everything he had worked for his whole life. I had seen him on that ice. I had seen the pure happiness in his eyes when he played. Hockey was not just what Jake did. It was who he was.

How could I be the person who took that away from him?

My hands shook as I picked up my phone. I typed the hardest message of my life.

Can we meet at the campus coffee shop? I need to talk to you before you leave for college tomorrow. It is important.

Jake's answer came back right away.

Of course, baby. Everything okay? I love you.

I closed my eyes. I tried to remember those three words. It would be the last time I would ever hear them from him.

Twenty minutes later, I stood outside the coffee shop. This was where we had our first real date. My heart was beating so hard I was sure everyone could hear it.

Through the window, I could see Marcus sitting at a corner table. He looked confused but hopeful. I had called him an hour ago with a plan that made me hate myself. But I could not think of any other way to make this believable.

Jake had to believe I did not love him anymore. He had to believe I had chosen someone else. It was the only way he would let me go without a fight.

I walked inside just as Jake arrived. His face became happy when he saw me. He looked so beautiful, so happy. He had no idea that I was about to destroy everything we had built together.

He said "Em, you look pale. Are you feeling okay?" He reached for my face, but I stepped back. Moving away from him hurt him like a physical blow.

I said "I am fine. Actually, there is something I need to show you." My voice was steadier than I felt.

Before I could lose my nerve, I walked over to Marcus. I pressed my lips against his. The kiss was cold and mechanical. It was nothing like the fire I felt with Jake. Marcus seemed shocked but did not pull away. He probably thought all his pathetic attempts to win me back had finally worked.

The sound of something crashing made me break away. Jake stood frozen ten feet away. His coffee cup was broken on the floor. Brown liquid was spreading across the tiles like spilled blood. His face had gone completely white except for the bright red marks of betrayal burning across his cheeks.

He said "Are you kidding me?" His voice cracked with disbelief. "You promised me two weeks ago that you would never go back to this jerk. What the hell is going on? I have not even left yet and you are already back with him?"

My heart was breaking into a million pieces. But I forced myself to stay cold and distant. This had to be believable.

Jake said "Why did you promise me you would not go back to him?" His eyes were wild with hurt and confusion. "Emma, what is happening?"

Marcus, the idiot, chose that moment to wrap his arm around my waist. He said "Look, dude, she has obviously moved on. We are back together now, so I think you should just accept it and walk away."

I said "Shut up, Marcus," but the damage was done. Jake's face crumpled with devastation.

Jake said "Emma, please. Tell me what is really going on. This is not you. This is not us." He was begging as he stepped closer.

I forced myself to look him in the eyes. I used every ounce of strength I had left. I said "It has always been about you, Jake. You and your hockey career. You are so selfish. Everything revolves around what you want, what you need. I am tired of it. I am tired of hearing about your dreams when you never ask about mine."

Jake said desperately "That is not true. I said I would wait for you. Just a few years and then we will start our family. We will have everything we talked about. I love you so much, Em. Please do not do this."

I said "No. We are done. I do not want to date you anymore. I want us to break up." Each word was like swallowing glass.

Jake staggered backward like I had physically hit him. He said "So for the past six months, for this entire summer, you were just playing with my feelings?"

I nodded. I hated myself more with every lie. I said "Yes. Marcus thinks about me. He is not selfish like you are. He is better for me, and I respect him more than I ever respected you."

Jake's voice was barely a whisper. He said "You are choosing him over me?"

I said "Yes. I have gotten back with him, and I think you should move on. Good luck with your NHL dreams and everything."

Jake stood there for another moment. His blue eyes searched my face for any sign that this was all some horrible joke. When he found nothing but cold determination, something inside him died. I watched it happen. I watched the light fade from his eyes. I watched the boy I loved disappear and leave behind a broken stranger.

Without another word, he turned and walked away.

I stood there until he disappeared completely. My nails dug so deep into my palms that I drew blood. Only when I was sure he was gone did I turn to Marcus. He was grinning like he had won the lottery.

Marcus said "Wow, I cannot believe you actually dumped him for me! I knew you would come to your senses eventually. So when do you want to make this official? We could..."

I said flatly "Get away from me."

Marcus's smile disappeared. He said "What? But you just said..."

I said "I used you to make Jake leave. That is it. I do not want to date you either. Just leave me alone."

Understanding showed on Marcus's face. Then came rage. He said "Are you kidding me? You are completely insane! You broke up with your boyfriend and used me as bait? What the hell is wrong with you? Are you some kind of crazy woman?"

I said tiredly "Whatever you think about me is fine. But I do not want to date you either. Just leave me the hell alone."

Marcus stormed out. He was cursing my name, but I barely heard him. All I could think about was the look in Jake's eyes when I had destroyed him. The way his shoulders had slumped in defeat. The way he had walked away without looking back.

I sank into the nearest chair and finally let the tears come.

I whispered to the empty coffee shop "I am sorry, Jake. I have to do this for your future. I do not want to ruin your life. I know if I told you about the baby, you would choose me over your career, and I cannot let that happen. Your mother was right. I love you too much to be the reason you throw away everything you have worked for."

Tomorrow, Jake would leave for college and start his journey to NHL stardom. And I would disappear from his life forever. I would carry his child and the secret that would protect his dreams.

Margaret's check was still sitting on my desk back in my dorm room. Fifty thousand dollars that felt more like blood money. I would not use it to get rid of the baby like she wanted. But it would help me disappear and start over somewhere far away from here.

But as I sat there in the wreckage of our love story, one terrifying thought kept echoing in my mind.

What if someday, somehow, our paths crossed again?

What if Jake discovered the truth about why I really left?

And what if by then, it was too late to explain that breaking his heart was the only way I knew how to save his dreams?

The coffee shop door made a chiming sound as another customer entered. For one heart-stopping moment, I thought Jake had come back. But it was just a stranger. I realized that from now on, every door that opened, every phone that rang, every unexpected sound would make me wonder if this was the day my carefully constructed lie would finally catch up with me.

What scared me most was not that Jake might find out the truth someday.

What scared me most was that when that day came, I might not be strong enough to lie to him again.