Chapter Seven

Elara’s POV

I didn’t stop running.

Not until the library was far behind me.

My breath came out fast and uneven, my chest rising and falling as I pressed my back against the cold wall of the corridor.

Everything was quiet.

Too quiet.

But inside me—

Nothing was quiet.

It all kept replaying.

The way he looked at me.

The way he spoke.

The way he touched me.

My fingers trembled as they slowly lifted to my lips.

I froze.

Why… could I still feel it?

My heart began to pound again, harder this time.

“No…”

The word slipped out, barely above a whisper.

I shook my head quickly, like that could erase everything.

But it didn’t.

Nothing changed.

I closed my eyes tightly.

“God… forgive me.”

The prayer came out fast, like it always did.

But this time—

It didn’t feel the same.

Because something inside me hesitated.

And that scared me.

I pushed myself off the wall and started walking, my steps slow at first.

“This is wrong… everything about it is wrong…”

I muttered under my breath, trying to hold onto that thought.

He was wrong.

Everything about him was wrong.

His words, his attitude.

The way he looked at me—

Like he already knew something I didn’t.

I swallowed hard.

“No… that’s not true.”

I said it again, trying to convince myself.

“I didn’t want it.”

But the moment those words left my mouth—

I slowed down.

Because my mind betrayed me.

It showed me that moment again.

That moment I didn’t push him away.

That moment my body…

reacted.

My breath hitched.

“No…”

This time, it sounded weaker.

I wrapped my arms around myself tightly, like I was trying to hold everything together.

Like I was trying to stop something from slipping.

I didn’t even realize when I got to my dorm.

The door closed behind me softly.

And now, finally I was alone.

But even then…I wasn’t.

Because he was still there.

In my thoughts, in my body.

And the way my heart refused to calm down.

I walked slowly to the mirror placed at a corner, usually for my casual makeup when at least necessary.

For a moment, I just stood there.

Looking at myself. Wishing I were drunk, but I don't drink.

We don't... but I did something worse we also shouldn't.

Still staring at my face.

The same face, same eyes.

Same person.

But something felt different.

Something had changed inside me.

My hand lifted slowly, almost without thinking, brushing lightly against my neck.

The exact spot his lips had touched.

A blush burns on my cheeks.

My breath caught sharply.

And I pulled my hand away immediately, like I had felt a real flame burned myself.

“No…”

I whispered again.

“This is a test… it has to be…”

I turned away from the mirror, pacing the small room.

“I am stronger than this.”

But even as I said it, it  didn’t sound true.

Not anymore.

A soft knock came from the door.

I froze instantly.

My heart jumped so fast it hurt.

For one second—

I thought it was him.

But that didn’t make sense. He can't be here.

“Sister Elara?”

The voice broke through my thoughts.

Sister Annette.

I let out a breath slowly.

“Yes… come in.”

The door opened gently, and she stepped inside.

Her eyes went straight to my face.

Studying me.

Carefully.

“Are you okay?”

I nodded quickly.

“Yes, I am fine.”

My response was too fast and rehearsed that she didn’t look convinced.

She stepped closer, her brows slightly drawn together.

“You don’t look fine.”

I forced a small smile.

“I’m just tired.”

She didn’t respond immediately.

She kept looking at me like she was trying to understand something.

Then her gaze softened.

“With everything that happened earlier… I just wanted to check on you.”

My heart skipped.

Earlier?.

Her words lingered. And suddenly I felt something rise in my chest.

Like I wanted to speak.

Like I needed to say it.

“I, I have to confes—”

I stopped.

The word hung there.

My lips parted slightly.

For a brief moment, I almost told her.

About the library, about him and about what had happened.

But then, my thoughts crashed in.

What will she think of me?

Won’t she mock me?

'Miss perfect… being worse?'

My throat tightened.

And just like that, I swallowed everything back.

“I’m fine,” I said again, quieter this time.

Her eyes didn’t leave mine.

Then slowly, confusion crossed her face.

“Wait…”

She frowned slightly.

“You’re not going to tell anyone… right?”

That was when I remembered.

The garden and what I told her.

I looked at her properly now.

“I meant what I said,” I replied calmly.

“I won’t tell anyone… as long as you confess.”

Her eyes widened slightly.

Clearly surprised.

“You… you’re serious?”

I nodded.

“Yes.”

For a moment, she just stared at me.

Like she didn’t expect that answer from me.

Then har expression softened again.

But this time, there was something else there.

Concern. A real concern.

She stepped closer again.

“Elara…”

Her voice was softer now.

“You’re really not okay.”

Before I could react, she lifted her hand and placed it gently on my forehead.

I froze.

Her touch was light and careful.

She frowned slightly, then whispered under her breath,

“Her temperature is normal… that’s strange.”

I stepped back slowly, creating a small distance between us.

“I told you, I’m fine.”

But even I could hear it.

I didn’t sound fine.

She looked at me for a long moment.

Not speaking, but just watching.

As if she could see right through me.

And somehow, that made me feel even more exposed.

Finally, she sighed softly.

“Alright…”

Finally! She wasn't going to push further.

But the look on her face didn’t change.

“Just… take care of yourself, okay?”

I nodded quickly.

“I will.”

She hesitated for a second.

Then turned and walked toward the door.

Before stepping out, she paused.

Then glanced back at me one last time.

Still worried, and unsure.

Then she left finally. I couldn't tell if what she was concerned about was actually me spilling her secret or me... like me acting different tonight.

The door closed quietly behind her.

And just like that, the silence returned.

I stood there for a moment, not moving.

Then slowly, I sat down on the edge of my bed.

My hands rested on my lap.

Just staring into space.

But my thoughts weren’t.

They kept going back.

To him.

To the way he spoke, the way he looked at me and the way he said.

"Say you don’t want it".

My fingers curled slightly.

Because I didn’t say it.

Especially not immediately.

What if he tells everyone what has happened? How would they think of me? And how will he be thinking about me... like right now?

And that truth…

It scared me more than anything else.

I closed my eyes slowly.

“This ends now.”

I said it out loud.

Firm like a decision.

Like something I could hold onto.

But deep down, a quiet voice whispered back.

Liar!.

My eyes opened slowly.

And I stared ahead into nothing.

Because for the first time,

I wasn’t sure if I wanted it to end.