Not emotionally attached

I waited like thirty minutes before Daddy came out of the bathroom, dressed up. Yes, he had another wardrobe there in his office bathroom.

Quickly I got on my feet; I had already dressed up properly.

"I'm having dinner with a few friends," he said, and immediately my stomach dropped. I knew the friends he had; they were all in the p**n industry.

“But… I thought we could go again.” I tried to get closer to him, but he was fast, grabbing his phone and then walking away, leaving me alone and suddenly feeling kind of weird.

This is not what I expected, honestly. I thought after this we would be together or something; I don't know, I wasn't thinking straight.

I stayed in the office for a while before finally dragging my legs out of there and straight to my bedroom, where I went straight to take a shower.

For the past weeks, I've just been craving his cock. He was much older than me, and he was my mother's husband. There was no way I wanted more than that, but right now I couldn't help but think maybe giving him my virginity was a mistake, that maybe I'm just supposed to keep touching myself to the thought and not actually sleep with him.

“Oh?” I gasped when I saw blood on my hands. I looked down at the shower and realised I was bleeding. I wondered if perhaps I'd been bleeding all this time, that the wetness I felt was actually blood.

Now I tracked my period, so it couldn't be it. I wasn't in much pain either, so it couldn't be that he hurt me. Oh yeah, it should be my virginity.

“Fuck.” I could feel a hint of pain but not much. Anyways, I washed up and prepared myself before going to bed.

I lay there suddenly; instead of feeling excited, I was sad, like I had just lost my favourite pet since I couldn't even begin to miss my mother. I don't know; she wasn't much of a mother to me. She gave me everything because she had it and was obligated.

I kept turning and turning until I finally fell asleep. The next morning I woke up to the ring of my room telephone, which I knew could only be the house security.

“What?” I picked up after the fifth ring.

“Good morning, Ms Zoe; you have guests.”

“Why didn't you call Dad's room?”

“Mr Winston didn't come home last night.”

“What?” I quickly sat up. Dad had never stayed out all night before; he always came home. “Are you sure?” I asked, suddenly feeling restless.

"Yes, Ms Zoe, so what do I do with the guests?”

“Ask them to come in.” I ended the call with him and then dialled Dad's number. I was so restless; I don't know why.

“Can I call you back?” He said it as soon as he picked up.

“You didn't sleep at home?”

“I know, buttercup, I'm doing something important.” I almost asked him to better not be with another woman, but the words just felt awkward, so I didn't say them.

As the call disconnected, I got out of bed and then went and washed my face. I wondered which visitors we had only for me to reach to brushing my teeth to hear Destiny's squeaky voice.

“Are you in the bathroom?” She called and I left what I was doing to come greet her.

Destiny was Gerald's daughter; she was almost my age. Well, Gerald had two daughters, Destiny and Whitney, Whitney being 21. We never really spent time together, and we never talked about them, but yes, his first daughter was at least a year older than me.

“I didn't know you were coming.” I said, honestly pulling away from the hug. Gerald never hid what he did; he even had sex clubs and so forth. The mother of his kids never wanted her kids around him because of that.

“She got tired of me asking.” She referred to her mom. “Whitney is downstairs.” She informed me, “Is he home?”

“No, he… he didn't sleep at home last night.” I got weird quickly thinking about what I've been doing, especially what happened last night. “Did you find the rooms?”

“I'll be sleeping here with you.” Destiny loved me, and I did too; she was my only friend. "I'm so sorry about your mum."

“It's okay, it's been weeks." I walked back to the bathroom, telling her I was going to take a shower.

Closing the door behind me, I turned on the shower without going in. I stood in front of the mirror and watched my reflection.

This is something people don't tell you: the awkwardness after a night of forbidden sex. I couldn't look Destiny in the eyes because of what I had just done with her father, but it's not a big deal; she knew exactly what her father did, and if she should be awkward about anything, it should be the fact that her father ran the largest p**n site in the world lol.

Like, the fuck, we were both fucked up; I was the daughter of a p**n star and she of the p**n site runner; there was no difference.

I went in the shower; after about thirty minutes I was out, wearing just something normal. Now I was happy Destiny was here; if anything, I craved a connection with someone my age. The fact that I'd be going to college soon made me even need her more, but why now when her dad and I had started enjoying ourselves?

"I'm hungry,” Destiny said. “I literally ran here when Mom gave the green light.” We walked down to the kitchen, and there we found Whitney already making herself a snack.

“You're still here?” Was the first thing she said to me.

Whitney hated me and my mum with passion; she made it clear we were just golddiggers, and admittedly, I didn't like her much either.

“You do know you're not Dad's daughter, right?” she continued.

“Leave her alone, Whit; she had just lost her mum." Destiny defended.

“What did she expect after sex with a thousand men? Obviously that was bound to catch up to her.” She rolled her eyes. Well, I was not emotionally attached to my mum; she knew that, so I didn't get why she was wasting her time.

Also, I didn't have time for her; if anything, I only wanted Gerald back home so we could go again. I was starting to think of the woman who gave birth to me, the woman who automatically gave me shame; I think fucking the man she loved would make me feel better right now.

I almost took a bottle of water from the fridge when Gerald's voice caught my attention; he was back.

“How are you girls?” He greeted, the daughters responded, and I didn't. I was kind of mad at him; I didn't turn until he said something completely crazy.

“Who?” Immediately I turned around to look. There next to him was Sienna, the funeral director who organised my mother's burial, the same woman I saw eyeing him with lust that day. The same woman whom he had just introduced as his girlfriend.

"Sienna,” he repeated, not really looking at me.

“Oh, Zoe, right. How are you?” She came toward me; she was one of the people giving me fake love during my supposed difficult time. Her aim was to take me in her arms, but I moved away, giving her a cold 'I'm fine’ response.

He must be kidding me!