Chapter 29: The Pretense of Forever

Emery’s POV

I had gone to see her again, my mother. She was still placed in that same room with the same smell. There wasn't much to talk about because nothing had changed.

The lights above were too bright, the walls still felt lifeless with those shades of cream. The air around felt cold, just like the kind that would make your skin sting after sitting still for too long. The room was quiet and only the steady beeping of different machines connected to her, produced a soft hum that filled the silence like background noise no one had invited. The heart monitor blinked with a soft rhythm, slow but steady.

My mother lay there, exactly as I had seen her.

Her skin looked thinner that I could almost see through them. Her hands were pale and fragile that when I held one in mine, it felt like I was holding a delicate glass. I was afraid that if I gripped too tight, she might break.

I kept watching her chest rise and fall beneath the blanket and it wasn’t enough to ease the worry in my chest, but it reminded me that she was still here.

I had hoped Mia would come.

Every time I asked, the nurses said the same thing “She just left” or “She was here earlier.” It kept happening, again and again, until it didn’t feel like it was just a coincidence anymore.

She was avoiding me, but I didn’t understand why.

It shouldn't be about me or her, she shouldn't be avoiding me, not when our mother was in a hospital bed, barely holding on. It should had been enough to bring us together. But it didn't, instead she kept slipping out of reach before I could even try.

I stayed longer, I told Killian I wanted to come alone just in case that was why she kept leaving. Maybe she thought he would be at the hospital with me, and maybe she didn’t want to see him. I understood that she never liked him.

But she didn’t had to like him to face me.

We were still sisters right? 

We were both hurting, and all we had left was our mother.

I just wanted a moment, just a conversation to say something that reminded us that we were still family, even if everything else had changed.

But the room stayed quiet. There wasn't a footsteps in the hallway, there wasn't a knock on the door, there was no Mia.

I kept sitting there, I didn't move, my hands still rested lightly on Mom’s. Her fingers didn’t twitch, her eyelids didn’t flutter. The machines kept doing their job, as if that was enough to keep hope alive.

I don’t know how long I sat like that, But a soft knock came in at the door that snapped me out of my thoughts

“Miss Sinclair?” the nurse said gently. “Visiting hours are over.”

Her voice was calm, like she had said the same thing a hundred times before. But she didn’t rush me. She waited at the door, her eyes were kind, her hands clasped together at the front of her dress. I looked at her, but my body felt too slow to move. My head finally gave her a nod.

I turned back to my mother and leaned down. I pressed my lips to her knuckles, holding them for a few seconds, just to feel that connection one last time that night. Her hand didn’t move, so I gave it one last squeeze before I let go.

The chair let out a soft scrape as I pushed it back and stood up. I adjusted the edge of her blanket, tucking it in even though I knew she couldn’t feel it. My hand hovered above her chest for a second, then dropped.

I gave one last glance around the room, hoping…that just maybe… Mia would appear at the last minute but she didn’t, so I left.

I walked toward the door, my shoes quiet against the tile floor. The nurse stepped aside to let me pass.

The hallway was dim and cold. The fluorescent lights flickered slightly above, casting a yellowish glow. Everything smelled like disinfectant and metal.

I looked around, and it was empty. Killian wasn’t there.

There wasn't a tall figure in a black suit waiting at the end of the hall. There were no shadows watching silently from the corner. There was no heat on my back reminding me he was always a step too close, and for once, I was relieved.

There was no pressure in the air. No tension sitting in my throat, it was just me… alone.

And that felt like the first breath I had taken all day.

The quiet I had felt after leaving the hospital didn’t follow me for long because the moment I stepped into the waiting car, the one Killian had ordered to follow me, 

I had barely rested my back on the car seat before the screen in front of me lit up.

I blinked in confusion at first because I hadn't put it on, until I saw the headline.

The screen held me face and his side by side like it had always been that way.

“Engaged?”

“Killian Wolfe Shocks Business World With Surprise Engagement.”

“Insiders Confirm: It’s Not Just a Fling.”

I stared at the screen 

What engagement? Surprise? Yes that was for sure, I was surprised because there was even an engagement party.

 A fling? 

Where was the news coming from? I sat there, just still I didn't know what to say, I didn't know where to start, I didn't even know that I was holding my breath

“A surprise engagement?” I whispered to myself. It felt like I had lost a memory, but I hadn't. I stared at my finger.

Yeah, the one that the ring was supposed to be in but there was no ring there, there wasn't even a line that indicated that there was once a ring

But then it clicked. There was no need for me to think too much, no one does those kinds of things except Killian himself. No one twists news stories about me and goes free because Killian always deals with them so It had to be him.

The world was already starting to believe it. I didn't need to ask how, It was Killian after all. He always does his things with precise calculation.Things always went as he had planned for it. Just like the headlines.

The car pulled into the estate, I didn't wait for the car to park before I jumped down. I walked inside the house with thunderous step and my thought loud

I saw him waiting at the center of the parlor dressing is all black attire like he had all the answer to the question that I should never asked

“You saw it?” He asked but I didn't reply, I wasn't in the mood to conduct a question and answer session with him. But I indulge him anyway.

“You weren’t going to tell me?” I asked. “You were going to let me find out through a screen?” I shouted

“you needed to get ahead of the headlines.” He sounded so unconcerned like it was normal 

‘I needed to get ahead of headlines?’ It sounded so simple yet so hard to do. He didn't even feel apologetic about it 

He sounded like he had done a favour to me. All for what? For control?

“You needed control.” I asked. My voice, was barely above whisper

He didn’t deny it.

Instead, he stepped forward, voice low. “They were tearing you apart, Emery. I had to give them something else to talk about.”

“So your thoughts, giving me to them would solve the problem?”  

“It wasn't about distracting Eme, It was about protecting you. With the headlines, no one would dare to lay a finger on you… because if they did they would be calling trouble to their doorstep”

“The same trouble you always kept dragging me into.”

He clenched his jaw. “I did what I had to do.”

“And I had no say in any of it?”

“This wasn’t yours to give, Killian,” I said, my voice breaking. “Not my name. Not my future. Not my story. Don't ever.”

“You already said yes once,” he said.

“Yes I did, but that was to a performance. One that wasn't supposed to be real. One that was just used to drive the attention of the public away from me. I didn't agree so you could make me the center of attention.”

“But it feels real, doesn’t it?”

“But I didn't make the agreement when it was real. Did I?” I shot back

The air between had thinned.

He took another step. “Tell me it doesn’t. Tell me the way you look at me isn’t real. That the way I need you isn't this sick, that the endless need doesn’t scare you as much as it scares me.”

I blinked, I took a step backwards. I couldn't say a word because it did and it terrified me how much I needed him but that wasn’t the point.

“I’m not a chess piece, Killian,” I said quietly. “I’m not a PR bandage or a headline fix, I’m a person and I deserve to be consulted before my life is paraded as a strategy.”

His voice softened, almost a whisper. “I wasn’t trying to parade you. I was trying to tell the world to back off.”

Something inside of me broke. It was the remaining pieces of my fragile heart. 

He didn't realize, did he? He didn't realize that claiming he wasn't loving, that I didn't want to be owned. I didn't want to be claimed, that I wasn't a property, I wasn't a house or a car. I was human

He loved too hard and it always left bruises. How much more would I bleed? How long would it take before he realized that? That every single moment, a piece of me broke. Maybe when I'm left with nothing, he would finally see it 

“I don’t know where I stand with you,” I said. “One minute I’m a woman you would burn cities for, the next I’m your secret. Then I’m your fake fiancée in a power play I didn’t ask for.”

He moved closer until I had to tilt my chin up to hold his gaze.

“You’re not a secret,” he said. “And you’re not fake.”

I stared at him, searching for something, regret or maybe even doubt. But he looked at me like he meant every word, like the lines between pretend and reality didn’t exist for him anymore.

“Do you want to marry me, Killian?”

The question hung in the space between us.

His brows drew together slightly, but he didn’t back away.

“Yes,” he said. I should had jumped in excitement at his words, but I felt his words were low and brutal. “Eventually. When you're ready. But right now… I need the world to think we already are.”

“That’s not love,” I whispered.

“No,” he replied. “It’s war.”

There it was again—that line he always walked. The one between devotion and possession, between protection and domination.

“I don’t know what’s worse,” I said, “the part that you did this to keep me safe… or that part of me that is starting to believe you.”

His face didn’t change but his eyes did. They darkened, not with malice, but with something close to longing. 

“I told you,” he said, his voice quieter now. “I don’t know how to love gently.”

“And I’m tired of bleeding for it.”

Then he took a step back not obvious but just slightly and it was enough. 

Enough to give me space to breathe.

Enough to remind me that I could still choose.

“I’m not saying I don’t want this,” I said slowly. “I’m saying I want to know what this is. Because I can’t keep playing pretend in public while breaking in private.”

“I’ll give you time,” he said, nodding. “As much as you need.”

“And space?”

“That’ll be harder.”

I almost smiled… almost.

Later that night, I took off the ring he had given me after our argument. Not because I was still angry, but it was to remind myself that it didn’t define me.

Not yet at least, not until I chose it.

I placed it in the drawer beside the bed, then curled up beneath the sheets

Because some battles couldn't be won with declarations or diamonds. On some occasions, some were won in silence.

And I would continue to choose yourself again and again until someone would love me without needing to own you.

“I'm such a confused creature” I whispered to myself