110. Alone With My Past

Raven

I woke up panting, sweat soaking my shirt, and my hair sticking to my face. My eyes were swollen and puffy, with my nostrils filled with snort. I had been crying in my sleep.

What was that?

I climbed out of bed and rushed to the bathroom. The bathroom I used to cry in when I was younger. My hands were trembling violently as I splashed water on my face.

I know deep in my guts that this wasn’t a dream. My therapist’s theory was right…you are bound to regain your memories if you go to familiar places.

So, all of that… was real?

I sucked in a breath as my thoughts wandered to Killian. It can’t be true, right? I had sent him to prison unjustly…it can’t be true.

My heart pounded in my chest heavily. He never told me about it… Why didn’t he tell me any of it?

I don’t know whether to be angry or grateful that Killian didn’t hold what I did against me, but still…I had hurt him badly.

But what happened after that? I didn’t see him again until I got my internship at his hospital. What happened all those years before now?

I had so many questions and theories, but first, I must calm myself. It’s not good for the baby. I went back to bed; it was almost morning, so I forced myself to sleep the remaining hours. By the time I was up again, the sun was already up.

I was back in Phoenix, at my parents’ old house that my late mother had left behind. I don’t know where my father was, but instead of moving to another state and beginning the process of buying a new house and starting afresh, which would cost a lot of money, I decided to move back here instead.

I’ll reshape everything, including my past. I have enough money to last me for some years to come, so I’ll rebuild myself little by little before my baby is born.

My only prayer now is that he doesn’t find me. Neither brother should find me. I want to be alone and rebuild myself alone. Killian already said he wants nothing to do with me, and with what I could remember, I don’t blame him anymore.

When I was done with what little chores I could do, I went over to the balcony and started applying for jobs.

When I was done, I looked over the lawn, and then my eyes fell to the house several feet beside mine. I swallowed. That’s where Killian used to live. The building had been renovated, and someone else lives in it now, but it still holds so much presence.

I wanted to take a stroll down to the backyard, but I changed my mind. I don’t want to appear creepy.

I remained in the building, the loneliness sipping in. It then occurred to me that I had no friends, no bestie or girls to tell to come over. I don’t have any childhood friends. The only person I had was Killian until he was taken away, and ever since, I have never formed any strong bond with anyone and that brings me to my second question.

How the hell did I end up with Viktor if I lost touch with their family for so long?

How?

How did I marry a man who already had kids for another woman? Was I that cheap?

And Nero, where did he go?

What happened to their parents?

I shook my head and went back inside. I started rooming at the house. I was bored to death…is this how I’d live till I die?

I decided to take a stroll with the neighbors. I came out of my house and walked down the street to the playground some blocks away. It was still the same, only renovated and more modernized.

I hesitated but went over to knock on the door; maybe the Harrisons still lived here. I could ask some questions if they still lived here, and to my greatest surprise, the old lady came out.

And with my vague memory, I could tell it was her.

“Um…hi ma’am, I live a few blocks from here, and I was kind of bored, so I thought I could come around,” I told her, and she ushered me in freely.

" Oh, dear. Come on in…. I’ve never had a visitor for a long time since my children left me.” She said, and I walked into her living room.

She offered me a cup of coffee, and I sat on the couch directly opposite her. “ Your children left?”

" Yes …they are all married, all six of them. They’ve started their own lives now.” She sighed. “ And this neighborhood is too quiet; everyone keeps to themselves since that incident happened. No one even sends their kids over to visit me.” She shook her head.

She had already piqued my interest.” What incident?”

She removed her glasses and dropped them on the side table, a perfect sign that she was the gossip type, and she was about to spill some juicy topic.

“Since the parents of those violent sons died mysteriously, the whole neighborhood had to keep their mouths shut and mind their business. People say the family is cursed.” She started, and I listened attentively.

I have to show absolute interest, so she spills more. That’s how gossip with old women works. “Oh my, they died? That’s so tragic. What about his sons?”

I held my breath, waiting for her to talk.

She leaned in, lowering her voice even though we were the only ones in the house. “ I heard they were fighting over who was going to inherit their father’s fortune. And then after the death, there was a will, and people said his property was shared equally among his first two sons; not even a dime went to the last son.”

I curled my fingers into fists. “ How did the last son survive?”

She waved a hand. “ He was a thorn in the family. He was sleeping around with his neighbor’s daughter and raped her, then he was sent to prison for it. When he eventually got out, no one has heard of him to date. Some people say he went after his neighbor’s daughter to have revenge, and he beat her up till she had a bad fall and lost her memories.”

I scoffed. Another pathetic gossip. “I heard the girl in question was disowned by her family. How true was that?”

The old lady adjusted herself in the chair before continuing to speak. “She ran mad…she left her own family and let herself be used by the Markov's. I heard she whored herself for the brothers one by one. She said she hated her family, and so she whored herself and then eventually married the first son. So, her parents had to disown her to keep the family name out of the mud.”

I didn’t ask any further questions. I already got the answer I needed. “Well, it’s all in the past now. Isn’t it?”

She nodded in agreement. “So many years had passed since then.”

I stayed a little longer, chatting with her about the last few years and random things. Then I got up to leave with my head full.

There were too many loopholes, and I don’t think I can get enough out of the old lady. If I wanted to know everything, then the best person to ask was him, but I had already sworn to have nothing to do with them for the rest of my lifetime.

I guess I have to let go of everything and look to the future, right?

Wrong!

I asked Mrs. Harrison again if she knew precisely how the Markov’s died so mysteriously, and she said something that stuck with me.

At least now I know why my mother was murdered, too.