004: First Stage of Grief, Denial

Harris' POV

Nasa living room kami ngayon ng resthouse na tinutuluyan namin. Nakayuko ako't hindi mapakali habang si Psyche ay nakaalalay sa akin.

Pauli-uli sa harap ko si Hadean, nag-aalala sa maaaring kalagayan ng pinsan niya. Knythe is checking up on Crimson, who is unconscious at the moment. May mga galos din siya at makikita mo ang kapaguran sa kanyang mukha. Halos lahat kami rito ay puno ng pagtataka at kinakabahan. Sari-saring mga tanong ang namuo sa aking isipan. Mga katanungan na nais kong masagot. Sumasakit ang ulo ko sa kaiisip kung bakit ganito ang kalagayan ng kaibigan namin.

‘I knew it. I knew something was wrong pero hindi ko sinunod ang nararamdaman ko. P*nyeta!’ Inis na singhal ko sa aking sarili.

Agad kaming nabuhayan nang marinig ang pag-ubo ni Crimson. Luminga-linga muna siya sa kanyang paligid at bigla na lamang napaluha.

“Crimson, ayos ka lang ba?” Nag-aalalang tanong ni Estevan.

Nagpumilit umupo ang dalaga. She grunted and held her head because of her sudden action.

“Dahan-dahan, you haven't regained your strength fully.” Paalala naman ni Knythe at inalalayan ang dalaga.

Agad na lumapit si Hadean sa kanya at hinawakan s'ya sa magkabilang braso. Her eyes were hopeful, hungry for answers.

“Crimson, tell us what happened.” Seryosong saad nito.

Crimson stared at us one by one, with tears still flowing from her eyes, she spoke with her raspy voice.

“Where is Hellios?”

Hadean's POV

I dialed Hellios' number for the nth time but I can't contact him. Lumipas ang gabi at walang Hellios na dumating. Puno ng pag-alala ang mga kasamahan namin, lalo na ako.

“What the hell is happening? Ano na naman ba ang nangyari sa'yong lalaki ka?” I asked as I walk back and forth, still waiting for Hellios to pick up his phone.

[The number you have dialed is unattened please try again later... The number you have dialed is--]

“Damn it!” I hissed and was about to dial his number again when I heard Chase.

“I'm going out.” Seryosong wika ni Chase. He wore his black leather jacket and his gloves.

“Saan ka pupunta?” Agad na tanong ni Estevan. “Don't tell me you're gonna go after them?” Dagdag nito.

Chase ignored every statement Estevan has made. Patuloy lamang siyang naglakad papalayo.

“Chase! Kumalma ka.” I called out his name. Hindi kami pinansin nito at nagpatuloy sa paglabas. Estevan motioned me to follow him, so we did. Sumunod kami sa kanya palabas ng rest house. Chase wore his helmet and got on his Cruiser Harley-Davidson motorcyle. He squeezed the motorcycle clutch lever with his left hand all the way to the grip.

“Bumalik ka rito!” Sigaw ni Estevan. Agad na nagsilabasan ang iba pa namin na kasamahan.

Dahil sa inis ay hinubad ni Chase ang suot na helmet at tinapunan ng masamang tingin si Estevan. His eyebrows were furrowed and he gritted his teeth.

“No! They are still out there! Calista is still out there! Tell me, how am I supposed to calm down?!” Chase backfired at us. Hindi kami nakaimik agad sa naging tugon niya.

Calista is Chase's ex. Things were rough for them. But I know how he cares for Calista. Still, he loves her.

Magsasalita na sana pabalik si Estevan nang dumating si Claellus at si Vedasto.

Buhat-buhat ni Vedasto si Crimson sa kanyang mga bisig. Wala itong malay at namumutla na. Tuyo na ang dugo sa kanyang katawan ngunit hindi pa rin naghihilom ang mga sugat.

“Bring her inside. Quick!” Anunsyo ni Estevan. Natulala rin si Chase sa kalagayan ng dalaga at wala sa sariling napasunod sa amin.

Knythe cleaned her wounds. Mabuti na lamang at may first aid kit kaming binaon. Rinig ang bulungan ng mga kasama namin. Pauli-uli lamang ako, naghihintay sa pag-gising niya.

She is the answer. She's the only one who can free us from our confusion.

We all want the same thing right now. ‘Wake up, Crimson.’ I stated at the back of my mind, hoping she would wake up.

Nagitla ang ilan sa amin nang umubo siya. Finally, she's awake. I sighed in relief. She sat down and held her head. Inabutan naman ni Knythe ng tubig ang dalaga.

“How are you feeling?” Knythe asked her and checked her state. Umiling ang dalaga at tumingin sa kanyang paligid.

Her tears started to slide down her cheeks. Her lips trembled as she looked at us one by one. Agad siyang pinaunlakan nina Estevan. Nawalan kami ng pag-asa. Lalong napuno ng ingay ng pagbubulungan ang silid nang magsalita na siya.

“Where is Hellios?” Puno ng pag-aalala ang naging tanong ng dalaga.

“Hindi mo alam kung nasaan si Hellios?” Nagtatakang tanong ni Knythe, halatang naguguluhan din sa nangyayari.

“What about Calista? Where's Calista?” Singit ni Chase. Tulad ng ibang katanungan, tahimik lang si Crimson at tila ba tuliro.

“Crimson, natagpuan ka nila sa kalsada. Wala kang malay. Duguan at mag-isa. Gusto namin malaman, nasaan na sila? Nasaan ang mga kasama mo?” Tanong ni Psyche.

Awtomatikong natigilan si Crimson at agad na humikbi.

“So i-it wasn't a dream?” Hirap man ay pinilit niyang magsalita.

“What wasn't a dream?” Chase asked, with his hands holding tightly on the couch. Halatang pinipigilan ang sariling magtanong pa. Sinalubong ni Crimson ang mga mata ni Chase.

“We crashed. Hellios lost control, hindi ko alam kung bakit o paano nangyari 'yon. We made sure that there were no problems with the vehicle. Kami ni Calista, we checked it. Hellios tried to push the breaks but it won't clutch... huli na bago kami makaalis sa sasakyan, bumangga kami sa puno. Gabi na nang magising ako. The gasoline was dripping and I was the only one who's conscious. And then Hellios...”

Napatunghay s'ya nang banggitin ang pangalan nito. “Hellios, he helped me. He got me out. Sabi n'ya tumakbo ako palayo sa sasakyan. Nang makalabas ako sa sasakyan, I tried to pull him out but he insisted that I should run.” Paglalahad ni Crimson.

“Tinignan ko kung may iba pa sa kanilang gising pero lahat sila.. w-wala ng buhay...” lumakas ang pag iyak n'ya habang inaalala ang huling mga pangyayari.

Maririnig rin ang paghikbi ni Psyche at ng iba pa naming kasamahan.

“Naglakad ako papalayo sa sasakyan. But Hellios kept calling out Hadean's name.” Crimson looked at me.

“He called out for you name helplessly! And I couldn't do anything! I couldn't do anything...” She cried out loud and sobbed.

“I cried out for help. Hindi ko na kaya, sobrang nanghihina na ako. Hindi ko na rin matandaan kung paano ako nakaabot sa kalsada. I just kept crying like it would bring back Hellios.” She buried her face on her palm and cried. “Like it would bring any of them back...”

“I-I'm sorry... I'm sorry...” She kept on apologizing.

Napaluhod ako at hindi malaman ang sasabihin. My mind is not functioning properly, refusing to take in all of her answers. Kanina gustong-gusto ko malaman kung anong nangyari sa kapatid ko pero ngayon parang nagsisisi ako na nalaman ko.

“This... this is all a dream. Panaginip 'to 'di ba? This isn't real. Somebody wake me up! Please wake me up!” Parang baliw na pagmamakaawa ko habang sinasampal ang sarili. Pinigilan ako ni Estevan at pilit ako pinapakalma.

“Hadean, please stop it...” Nanghihina na rin si Estevan.

“No, no I can't lose him. I can't lose Hellios! Hindi ko kaya...” I kneeled down in front of Crimson. “Please take it back. Take back everything you just said... I'm begging you, please!!”

“Hadean... Hellios is our friend too, please, calm down--”

“No! He was more than just a friend to me!”

“Hadean,” awat ni Knythe.

“He was a brother to me! So don't tell me that you lost a friend because I lost more than that. I lost a family.”

Lalong lumakas ang paghikbi ng mga kasama ko. Isinigaw ko ang nararamdaman ko. Hindi ko na kayang kimkimin pa.

“Kasalanan mo'to!” Agad na sinapak ni Harris si Knythe. Gulat ang lahat at hindi agad nakaawat. He punched him again. Napatakip sa bibig si Psyche habang napatayo sa kinauupuan si Crimson. Crimson lost ber balance and fell on Vedasto's arms. She looked at them worriedly as the tears streamed down her face.

He tried to punch him for the third time but Knythe dodged it. Siya naman ang sumugod at tinadyakan si Harris. Hindi nagpaawat ang dalawa at nagpalitan ng suntok at tadyak.

“Knythe! Tama na!” Crimson shouted and hugged Bullet to cover his eyes. Nag-umpisa nang umiyak ang bata.

Agad yumakap si Psyche sa nobyo habang pinalayo ni Yxe si Knythe. Puno ng galit at panggigigil ang mga mata ni Harris habang pilit na kumakawala sa yakap ng kanyang nobya.

“Kung hinanap lang agad natin sila, hindi mangyayari 'to!” Paninisi ni Harris kay Knythe.

Knythe wiped his lips and glared at him.

“Daddy, please stop!” Kumawala si Bullet mula sa pagkakayakap sa kanya ni Crimson at tumakbo palapit sa kanyang ama. He cried and hugged Knythe's right leg. He burried his face on his father's thigh, hoping it would calm him down.

“Tama na! Ano ba! Walang magagawa 'yong pagtuturuan niyo!” Psyche shouted on top of her lungs. “They're gone now... they're gone...”

Natahimik muli ang lahat. Regret and repentance could be felt inside the room. Binuhat ni Knythe si Bullet at walang sabing umalis doon.

“I'm sorry, Crimson. You can get some rest. I know you're tired. We're sorry for startling you like this.” Estevan softly stated and glanced at Vedasto.

“Please take her to her room, Yxe.” Utos nito sa kaibigan at payak na ngumiti sa dalaga bago lumapit kay Harris. “We'll settle this once you calm down.” Malamig na saad nito, puno ng awtoridad ang tono bago lampasan ang binata.

“Tsk.” Kumalas si Harris mula sa pagkakayakap sa kanya ng nobya at padabog na lumabas sa resthouse.

That day, we mourned losing our beloved. And among all, I cried the most. Nagsisisi ako, nanghihinayang. Hindi ko man lang nasabi sa kanya ang mga gusto ko pang sabihin. I hate myself for ignoring him after she died. I felt so guilty after ignoring how he sacrificed himself just for me to finish college and get a fine job.

“I'm sorry, kuya...” Kuya. Kailan ko ba siya huling tinawag na kuya? If I still called him that, how would he feel? I sobbed and hugged my knees. I felt so alone inside this room. Nakasiksik sa sulok ng silid at naghahanap ng p'wedeng masandalan.

Lumipas ang maghapon na walang imik ang karamihan sa amin. Harris didn't go out in his room, si Psyche ay nanatili sa tabi namin. Knythe, together with Vedasto took care of Crimson.

Huminga ako nang malalim at kumatok sa pintuan. “Crimson?” I twisted the doorknob and pushed the door lightly to peek inside. Abala si Knythe sa paglilinis ng mga sugat ng dalaga. Bullet was hugging Crimson's left arm, waiting for her to wake up.

“How is she?” I asked Knythe. He fixed his things and sighed heavily.

“She needs some time to recover. May malaking hiwa siya sa tagiliran, may mga bubog but I managed to take all of it out of her wound. Nakuha niya siguro sa basag na salamin ng bintana noong bumangga sila. That explains why she's so pale.” Mahabang usal nito. “Let's let her get some rest for the mean time. At ikaw, magpahinga ka rin.” Dagdag nito at humarap sa anak niya.

“Bullet, let's go.” He uttered calmly. The kid shook his head and kept hugging Crimson.

“I'll stay with her until she wakes up, Daddy.” Bullet replied.

Napahinga na lamang ng malalim si Knythe at tumango. “Don't disturb her.” Paalala nito na ikinatango ng bata. Ngumiti ako at sumabay na kay Knythe palabas ng silid.

Nagpahinga na ang lahat. I managed to calm myself down and stayed in the balcony. Holding a glass of rum on my hand, I stared at the nightsky. It was calm, it reminded me of... him. I sighed. I looked up, preventing myself to cry again because the thought of him already made some tears build up on my eyes.

“I'm sorry.” Lumingon ako sa lalaking nagsalita sa likod ko.

“It's not your fault, Knythe.” I smiled a bit before taking a sip on my glass.

“Kung sinunod ko lang sana 'yong sinabi ni Harris--”

“It's not your fault. You don't need to say anything. Have a drink.” Payak na sagot ko at inalok siya ng alak.

Totoo, hindi niya kasalanan. Walang sino man sa amin ang may kasalanan. I don't want to point my fingers to where it doesn't belong.

“Thank you, for trying to stop me earlier. I would've done something stupid.”

Tinanggap niya ang baso at tumayo sa tabi ko habang nakapamulsa. Tumingala rin siya sa langit at huminga nang malalim.

“Hellios was a great friend. And a brother.” He stated.

“He was.” I smiled bitterly and sipped lightly on my drink.

“Pero hindi ka ba nagtataka?”

Agad akong napalingon sa naging pahayag n'ya. “What do you mean?” I asked him.

“Before we left, we checked every single vehicle we'll have to use. How come hindi natin napansin na may mali sa sasakyan na gagamitin nila?” He explained.

Napakunot ang noo ko at matiim siyang tinignan. “Are you saying Crimson's lying?”

“I'm saying someone's behind this.” He whispered. “And whoever that person is, we'll have to find out.” Saad ni Knythe bago ako iwan.

‘Kung totoo man ang hinala ni Knythe, kailangan kong malaman kung sino ang nasa likod ng aksidenteng nangyari.’

“I'll find the answer behind this, brother. I'll bet my life on it.” pahayag ko bago lagukin ang alak at tumitig sa kawalan.

⚘ little ⊹ lies ··································································································································