Accueil / Tous / Cycle of Cliches / The Nineties’ Thing

Partager

The Nineties’ Thing

last update Date de publication: 2021-07-12 11:07:43
The Nineties’ Thing

 

Pehla nasha, pehla khumar

Naya pyar hai naya intezar

Kar lu main kya apna haal, aye dil-e-beqarar

Mere dil-e-beqarar, tu hi bata…

 

The first tipsiness, the first hangover

This is new love, new wait

What do I make of myself, O restless heart!

My restless heart, you tell me this.

 

Do you remember the tragic heart-break scene which followed this song in the movie Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar? The scene, when Anjali finds her beloved Sanju engaged in a celestial lip-lock in the aesthetic privacy of a derelict hill-top fortress? Do you remember, how many times you might have watched that same scene, each time, risking a scandal of a life-time? How many times you might have fanned your hidden desires of having such moments in your own life too? When I had watched this scene for the first time, I was in the eighth grade.

By the time, I saw Junali for the first time, and that was two years later, the desire had already reached its zenith and the most effective way to calm my senses down was to imagine stories weaved out of moments with her. Stories were more rewarding than masturbation. Apart from leaving indelible traces in my notebooks as words, those imagined moments, rather fantasies, taught me how to outgrow my licentious self and arrive at the life-changing realization that the kiss on the lips signified something far greater than mere erotic physicality. Some sort of a yearning. Love.

What else could I care for, as a fifteen-year-old, more than love? The kind of love that led to kisses. I was waiting for that kind of love to happen. On reflection, I feel, the slimy happening of this kind of love is like cinema. It is so full of visual action. Who says love is a thing of heart? I don’t.

In those days this yearning…love…began when after much deliberation and strenuous efforts, the Seeker, that is the person who yearned for love, would succeed in securing frequent unblinking gazes from the Sought, whenever there was an opportunity. It would happen only when the Seeker would communicate their feelings to the Sought. It could be a formal face-to-face verbal proposal or a verbal message or a letter sent through a confidante. It was only when the Sought reciprocated those messages and feelings, with a formal acceptance popularly known as the YES, that love actually happened. A spontaneous, progressive, linear state of eunoia: that was what I had understood about love from the elusive narratives shown in Bollywood movies of the time. It felt like a state where nothing beat the yearning to be accepted in the first place, and to remain accepted thereafter. This understanding only got cemented when Junali Rajbongshi had said yes to me almost a year after I had seen her for the first time.

Inside the six-by-four smoking-room in Kolkata airport, when she was standing in front of me, with a jaw-dropping gaze, I was living a moment, I had forsaken and yearned for, a million times, since the evening we had met for the last time three years after she had said yes to me.

“Neelim?” Her buttery voice hadn’t changed, but her tone seemed more like a question.

“Isn’t she sure that the man standing in front of her is indeed me?” crossed my mind.

The brief exchange of words between us interrupted the nonchalant silence of the smoking room. The others in the room lifted their eyes from their mobile screens to witness a wee-hour drama unfold. I could feel a few of my brain-cells start slithering. Hope was at work.

I managed to return a smile quite as a common courtesy, as she smiled and kept looking at me with an unblinking gaze. Between Junali and me, from the clouds of smoke there now appeared a collage of monochromatic images hovering in front of my eyes. Images of a breezy April morning in Guwahati.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Continuez à lire ce livre gratuitement
Scanner le code pour télécharger l'application

Dernier chapitre

  • Cycle of Cliches   Touchdown

    TouchdownWe will have our respective touchdowns today – Jahnobi at 6:30 PM British Standard Time at Gatwick, and I at 6:30PM IST in Pune. Nineteen days have elapsed since I am away from my workplace (you may read Karmabhumi). I have no clue how my team members are performing their daily rituals of chanting “Thank you for calling…”, “I understand your concern, however…”, “the options that I can give you are…”, “I apologize for the inconvenience…” to appease a bunch of unknown, unseen, fatally wronged, over-promised and under-delivered voices and names on the other hemisphere of the world, trying their guts out to get the best possible solutions to their issues. It’s not easy, going through these iterative bouts of supervising all these computer-screen-facing, headsets-clad, wretched souls engaged in those precarious rituals. It sucks the blood out of the brains and when I return to my flat in the morning, all I desire is a sound, undisturbed, dreamless sleep. When I wake up in

  • Cycle of Cliches   Missed Turns

    Missed TurnsNineteen days ago, I was greeted here, in the same airport, with the concerned and impatient voice of Jahnobi over the phone, “Have you reached?” Junali’s full and wide smile and the whiskey-dipped lines written for her transformed into a maze of eerily quiet corridors in in the main building of Gauhati Medical College Hospital. Every minute counted during my hunt for the single occupancy cabin where my mother was admitted. Even after a running-around for about ten minutes, following the directions of the old man sitting at the May I Help You counter, I was, kind of, lost in the maze of alleys, corridors, staircases and closed rooms in that mammoth building. “Yeah, reached, but kind of lost. Where’s the cabin?” I asked her. I wasn’t sure whether Jahnobi expected an assurance of my presence, or if she was just reminding me of the urgency – every moment can be the last moment“Just ask someone which is Ruplekha Baideu’s room. People know that she’s here.” I could

  • Cycle of Cliches   Like a Free Bird

    Like a Free BirdAt the door, there’s this tall, lanky fellow, with a week-old stubble on a pitifully undernourished jawline and a face with unusually white patches of skin standing with a tilt to his right. He has an aluminium forearm clutch in his right hand and he is emitting a strong stench of inflammable oil, a stench which is common among city bus drivers and conductors, diesel engine technicians working with the Railways or in the car-repair workshops. For me, it has really been hard to recognize people in the neighbourhood, because in this colony, people keep moving in and out. In the last eight years, every time I came for my vacations, I met at least one new family in the immediate neighbourhood, or came to know about at least one, who had moved to some other part of the city or to some other part of the country. The biggest bluff that our movies show is that the characters don’t recognize other characters when they wear a disguise. We usually recognize people’s eyes

  • Cycle of Cliches   Beyond Binaries

    Beyond BinariesThe ninth and the tenth days have been the busiest in terms of visitors. These were mostly repeat-visitors, who were doing a little more than paying just courtesy visits. Relatives, friends, and Ma’s close aides in her office. So, whatever means I tried to keep myself aloof, I had to come out more often than the previous three days. Thankfully, the what-happened-to-her questions had gone down significantly by then. These visitors wanted to help us in whatever way possible. My friend Rajib wanted to take an entire week off from work, but I said it would be fine if he made himself available on the eleventh and the twelfth days. I think he didn’t quite like the idea. What was he up to? Be by my side, like Ranjita was by Jahnobi’s. It would be rude to tell him or for that matter, anybody of those visitor, that they could be of greatest help to me, only if they let me be on my own.I missed Biswa though. He is in a remote village in the bordering areas of Rajasthan

  • Cycle of Cliches   Distant Realities

    Distant RealitiesThere’s nothing uncomfortable about the navy blue suit. It’s tailor-made unlike the other ones purchased earlier from online stores or from ready-made showrooms. The white two-ply twill cotton shirt with a double fused semi cutaway collar, the French cufflinks, the black Oxford shoes, belt, wallet and the wrist-watch strap can’t have complemented the suit better. I like the distinct tapping of my shoe-soles on the spotlessly clean chequerboard floor with every step I take through the corridor.Level 5 Function Room at the Southbank Centre. London. Dream destination!The black bow-tie is a bit of an annoyance though. Never wore a bow-tie before. Never needed to. Never attended an English dinner before either. Never needed to. I can bear the bow-tie though. The company of people will make good for any trivial annoyance.Right on time. Half five it is. It’s a Carrera Calibre 5 Automatic by Tag Heur. The most expensive one from my collection. I was pleasantly

  • Cycle of Cliches   Worldly Wise

    Worldly WiseOne morning, when Nishant was barely three months old, Papa and Mummy came to see him. Jaanvi opened the door to them, but was in a fix whether to let them in. Ma called them in. She not only called them in, but offered them to sit and also brought Nishant to them. Papa held Nishant in his hands for a while and then gave him to Mummy. The next moment, both of them were in tears, crying like children.Jaanvi was sulking within. Those tears didn’t mean anything to her. She was living in a strange, robotic world. A world which looked perfectly normal from outside, but whose insides burnt like hell every moment. She waited for Papa and Mummy’s collective weeping to come to an end and their tears to dry up, while Ma excused herself to the kitchen to make tea for them.When Papa and Mummy’s sobs mellowed down they kept looking at Jaanvi. Perhaps in anticipation that she would say something. She didn’t. Rather, she didn’t want to. Mummy’s curse had muted her.Ma enter

  • Cycle of Cliches   Sermons on the Hill

    Sermons on the Hill“Gadho, you need a direction and not a bike to find someone!” Birinchi was at his sarcastic best when I shared the benign intention of purchasing a brand-new bike with a whopping forty-six thousand rupees. Nisim was sitting beside us and relishing the breath-taking view of t

    last updateDernière mise à jour : 2026-03-24
  • Cycle of Cliches   Sunset Dating

    Sunset DatingThat every sunset brings a promise of a new dawn sounds like an overstatement, or perhaps Emerson forgot to add to a chosen few at the end of his famous saying. In the evening when Deuta was killed, somewhere in some jungle in Burma or in some small town in Bangladesh, the bosses

    last updateDernière mise à jour : 2026-03-22
  • Cycle of Cliches   Breath-taking!

    Breath-taking!“It’s like a bowl,” said Nisim as we looked around the parts of the city visible from the terrace. He formed a bowl with his fingers and the palm of his right hand to describe Guwahati, our new home, “Plains surrounded by small hills and the mighty river, Brahmaputra, flowing by

    last updateDernière mise à jour : 2026-03-20
  • Cycle of Cliches   Language is Power

    Language is PowerI write from the crematorium, but this definitely doesn’t make my story more readable than the others. It does make me an attention seeker though. That I’m in a flow, which, by the way, is also my desperation, only means that I fear of losing sight of a juicy plotline for my f

    last updateDernière mise à jour : 2026-03-20
Plus de chapitres
Découvrez et lisez de bons romans gratuitement
Accédez gratuitement à un grand nombre de bons romans sur GoodNovel. Téléchargez les livres que vous aimez et lisez où et quand vous voulez.
Lisez des livres gratuitement sur l'APP
Scanner le code pour lire sur l'application
DMCA.com Protection Status