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09— A brief History of the city Varanasi.
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DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM 10— The 'Phone' call.
10— The 'Phone' call. “Nowadays pain isn't present in tears. It is present in smiles.” —Saumya Tripathi"I will have to phone my uncle first thing first as soon as I can to let him know about my location. Immediately at that. But before that I better get out of here first and right away," I crammed, agreeing to myself. I better get going. Oh god! Let him be safe. Let him be safe. Closing my eyes, I prayed for my old uncle desperately for his well-being. Perplexed as I was I tried to avert my mind from my desperate turmoils that actually were clouding my sense of thinking rationally. Crying never helped anyone. Had it? No! It never had. Then, how come it will now? Why would it? It will not. Crying will never help me in getting away. Now, will it? No, it shall not. Never had. Never will. Crying won't let me out of this place. And papa also never would have allowed me to cry like this; like a vulnerable child in any situation. Such as this very perilous condition. I nodded, staunchl
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM Part two.
Part two. "Hello—?" A very faint but exhausted voice quivered from the other line; what I could only do was sob loudly for quite a time at the vulnerability of the tone. "U-uncle.." I rasped out from my dry mouth, still crying. Although trying to restrain my quivering mouth from crying more than I already was. I tried to speak out but nothing came out. "R-radhika...? Where are you, my child? I could not find you anywhere! Where have you been? How are you, child? How is Shaurya? Are you two alright? Is Shaurya with you? Tell me where you are and without delay, I will come at this instant!" He inquired hastily in his turned-up voice. Questioning me non-stop. He was panicking. "U-uncle h-he took us and shot Awadhesh! And he was n-not allowing us t-to go home. He-he; I don't know who he is. Uncle take us h-home please-please. I am scared," I stammered horribly at every word but I prayed to shiv Ji that he would make him understand and specify my incoherent sentences. "Child, Sssh. C
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM 11— Oh! Shiv Ji please no, how why?
11— Oh! Shiv Ji, please no, how? why?“At some time, everyone wants to be understood by someone. But no one is trying to understand the other. Why? If you really want to be understood: try to understand first.” — Saumya Tripathi “No..no..no..No!” I woke up with a jolt, sweating. My heart felt as if it wanted to jump out of my chest. Awash with perplexity and dread, I tried to grasp the bits and pieces of the situation. Deflating through my mouth, I took deep and long breaths to calm the restlessness I felt taking place inside. Was that a dream? Still somewhere between half awake and half asleep, I pondered over, slightly confused and bothersome about the whole ordeal. It had to be. However, the vividness of the scene from the dream made my body tingle with fear and anxiety. I was certainly uncertain about what I saw. It took me a while to confirm that it was, in fact, a dream. More like a nightmare must I add. Had it not been a dream I definitely would have been having a heart a
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM Part two.
Part two. It was now beginning to drizzle slightly after the full-blown downpour, however, not after a long period, it started to downpour heavily yet again with a bellowing cold- chilly wind, promptly. It was too cold and the downpour was not making it any better with the chilly climate and cold air. Despite my layers of clothes, I shivered. Oh, how I had loved the rain when it used to pour on our foyer with my parents sitting by my side sharing cheerful movements of nostalgia. Bringing my hasty mind out from the rejoicing thoughts which I had shared with my happy family back to the ugliest truth of life, I blinked rapidly trying to change the vision that had me breaking into even more little pieces. Venturing my groggy eyes to look outside the window for the familiar face of my uncle, but to my dismay, I met with unknown faces of the group of people that were already buzzy in their own little world. I sighed deeply. My shoulder slouched at the desperate attempt to glance out of th
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM 12— Unbidden departure! (Part-1)
12— Unbidden departure! (Part- 1)“It was darkness: blinding with absolute rage, ache and emptiness. Everything felt constricted, everything felt out of place, out of reach, nothing seems right anymore, nothing seems to matter anymore. The power once felt so potent, so strong— felt like a thin thread of broken trust, bond and loyalty. Everything felt like the gripping darkness of the night, nibbling on the outside to reach the insides to take control. To take control of the mind; the grasping silence that has billions of emotions overpowering each other felt— an immense amount of numbness, surrounding it: surrounding the psyche in a death grip.” — Saumya Tripathi •• November 3 Location— Cantt station, Varanasi. Timing— 3:27 a.m “If you came here to take us back then you are highly mistaken,” my voice came out stronger contrary to what I felt inside. “We are waiting for my uncle to receive us,” I emphasised. “We are going home.” His unruly hair seemed messed up and wet with a f
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM 13— Unbidden departure! (Part-2)
13— Unbidden departure! (Part- 2) “The fact that people do not learn from the mistakes of History is the most important lesson of History.” — Aldous Huxley “Try to hurry up, little bird,” he had said before leaving. “No,” I shook my head a little. Sometimes when we think we have choices, is the very time we realise that we have none. Because what is lotted cannot be bloated. We have our ups, and we have our downs yet we stick together in the hope of coming out from such disquieting situations. Blinking several times, a soft gasp left the space of my lips. Although my mind bolted with questions and disbelief, there were certain parts where I already knew what had happened yet I was too late to accept it. I was just in the phase of denial of what actually had happened. Because at the end of the day I was nothing but a human with a tormented head. “Actually we both will be waiting for you. Come soon.” His voice kept on reverberating inside my head. What? What happene
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM 14— Talks and researching! (Part-1)
14— Talks and beseeching! (Part-1)“Now, I totally don't believe in: the ‘eyes' are the souls of human beings because I have met a lot of people in life with warmth in their eyes and monsters residing inside them.” —Saumya Tripathi “Who are you?” I breathed, quivering in the cold. “What do you want from us?” Trying to force back some air into the lungs, I whisper-yelled. “So you think, it is easy for me to just trust a complete stranger without any questions asked and be compliant with what has been asked of me?” “No,” he finally forced out the words. “But you should know I will never let any harm come to you or your brother if you listen to what I say.” “What if I say: you're the one who has been hurting us by forcing us to stay with you?” Even in the storm-crashing weather, there was an eerie silence at that moment. I waited for his reply. “It's the only way to protect you.” “Protect me from what exactly?” I burst into tears. “It is you who we want protection from!” He was
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM 15— Talks and researching! (Part-2)
15— Talks and beseeching! (Part-2) “We judge people as it is obvious psychology of humans to do so. But the question is: is it worth it? To judge everyone based on how they look? By how do they present themselves? By how do they choose to act? Because some people ought to be felt rather than observed. As you truly cannot judge people by their outer layers, that would be so unfair, some people should only be gazed upon by their hearts instead of eyes.” — Saumya Tripathi “However, if I have to, I will. But you already know that. Don't you?” I did. His deep, uncaring tone sent chills down my spine. “It totally depends upon what you choose.” He waited. “Either it is your way or mine but the path needs to be the same.” Anger spiked in my stomach as if molten lava had been kept in it. I needed to get over this. I needed to get away from him. I had to get over it as quickly as possible. I had to! Because I didn't have much of a choice. As if knowing my state, the breeze picked up.
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