Reckless

Monique

"I'm not broken," I said quietly, the words escaping my lips like a confession I wasn’t sure I believed.

I wanted to... God, I wanted to. Because what is a broken person, really? Is it someone who cries at night and hides it in the morning? Someone who gives their heart to someone and watches them shatter it without warning? If so, maybe I was broken. But I didn’t want to be.

“I know you’re not,” Marcus said gently, his voice solid and sure.

He let go of me and leaned back into his seat, giving me space but not distance. “You’re not broken, Monique. Not even a little bit. All he did was break your trust and make you doubt yourself. And you are, right now. I can see it.”

I nodded slowly, letting his words wash over me like waves that hurt just enough to feel real.

“The first thing he did was alienate you,” Marcus continued. “From your friends, from your family.”

“I never really had family,” I said with a dry laugh, trying not to sound bitter.

“Yes, but… I’m sure there was someone,” he said gently. “A distant relative you talked to, maybe?”

I hesitated. “Yeah… my aunt. And her daughter. We used to talk. Before the marriage. I haven’t spoken to them… probably the whole time I was with Ryan.” My voice shook. “And I never even thought to question it. They’re the only family I have. .... I don’t even know where they are... Or if they’re alive...”

Panic clawed at my chest, sudden and choking. The realization hit me harder than expected. What if I really was alone in the world?

“Hey, hey,” Marcus said, shifting forward again, his voice now urgent and soothing at once. “Calm down. Don’t spiral. We’ll find them, okay? I’ll help you. We’ll find them.”

I shook my head, covering my face with my hands for a moment. “I hope so,” I whispered. “I hope they’re okay. I can’t believe I actually forgot about them. Not until you brought them up.”

“It’s okay,” Marcus said, his tone never wavering. “You trusted him. You didn’t know who you were trusting... but that doesn’t make you wrong. That doesn’t make you broken.”

I nodded slowly, almost robotically. “I’m fine,” I said again. “I’m not okay, but I’m not broken.” The words cracked slightly as they left my throat. I repeated them, softer this time. “I’m not broken.”

I wanted to believe it. I needed to believe it.

Marcus nodded with me, in silent agreement. Then he leaned forward, grabbed his drink, and took a sip. I followed his lead, lifting my glass of wine with trembling hands and taking a long sip.

Maybe if I kept saying it, I’d start to believe it. Maybe if I said it enough times, it would be true.

We kept drinking, each sip dulling the edges of pain and sharpening something else... something unspoken but thick in the air between us. After a while, the silence wasn't awkward anymore. It was loaded. Heavy. Intimate.

And the more we sat there, the more Marcus began to feel like weaponized temptation.

I glanced at him, at the way his eyes occasionally flicked toward me when he thought I wasn’t paying attention. There was something in his gaze, soft but intense, curious but respectful that made something stir deep inside me...

I let my eyes roam, slow and unashamed. I liked the way his hair curled slightly like it might feel soft between my fingers. I wondered if he was sensitive there and if touching him would make him shiver. I traced his face with my eyes, letting my thoughts run wild.

His hand, wrapped around his drink, looked strong, and confident. I wondered how those hands would feel on me. If they’d be careful. Or if they’d be rough in just the right way. I looked at his nose, which fit his face perfectly, and then my eyes landed on his lips.

They were soft. Kissable. I wondered what they tasted like. If they’d be gentle or demanding. If they’d move slowly against mine, or if he’d kiss me like he meant it, like he needed it.

I swallowed hard.

“I’m gonna go to the restroom,” Marcus said suddenly, his voice snapping me out of my spiral.

“Yeah, of course,” I said quickly, pretending to look away first.

He stood and walked off, and I watched him. The way he moved. The quiet confidence in his steps. The strength in his back and shoulders. The way he carried himself like a man who didn’t need to speak too much to be understood.

And I had to admit something to myself, something I had tried so hard to deny until now.

I wanted Marcus.

Not because I was lonely, not because I was sad or drunk or broken... I wanted him because he made me feel something, something I hadn’t felt in a long time.

I wanted him however he could give himself to me. Even if it was for just one night. Even if it all disappeared with the sunrise.

What was stopping me, really?

This was the first time I had allowed myself to see another man this way since Ryan. To feel desire and not guilt. To feel attraction and not shame. And the truth was... I kind of felt like I deserved this.

I didn’t think this was cheating.

I didn’t think it should count.

I had been the perfect wife. Loyal. Quiet. Supportive. I had been the ideal daughter-in-law, the flawless sister-in-law. I gave everything. I lost everything.

I think, just for once… I deserve to be reckless.

Just one night.