9

Gasping, I pinched each nipple once more and then slid my second hand down to join the first between my legs. With one hand, I penetrated my vaginal opening, rapidly shoving my fingers in and out of myself. The other hand slid into the slippery canal between my puffed up lips, running along it to the top where I found a very inflamed clitoris.

"DADDY!" I cried out, unable to stop myself as I pressed my finger hard against my clit. Rolling my swollen clit around in circles, I pressed harder still. At the same time, my other hand forced my fingers to plunge deeper inside my vagina. It was almost painful how hard I was masturbating, but I couldn't help it.

My face was damp with sweat and, admittedly, tears. It was a shock when I realized I was crying while my orgasm mounted. But I couldn't stop myself. My father filled my brain completely. His naked, beautiful body was all I could see. It was like he was masturbating right alongside me. I was breathing heavily, the sounds echoing around my little basement room. The force of my masturbating was so strong that my bed was squeaking as my body flailed and rocked.

Pleasure swirled around my vagina, inside and out. My clitoris was throbbing more urgently than I had ever felt. Still mashing my finger as I rolled it in circles, I felt my butt lift from my bed. Everything was shaking. I was breathing so hard and so fast, I felt dizzy. My mouth was open wide. The fantasy version of my dad started shaking and I knew he was about to release. I wanted to finish with him.

"Mmm hmmm," I whimpered. Diddling my clit faster still, my fingers continued their slippery penetration of my opening. I could hear the slick sound of my juice as it continued to ooze from me. My hands and vagina were so incredibly wet, there was no friction whatsoever. I had never been so wet before.

I pictured my dad getting closer and closer and I felt my muscles tensing up. My back arched until only my ankles and shoulders were touching my bed. Faster I plunged into my vagina. Faster I spun my finger against my clit. Pleasure rose. My breathing grew shallower. I opened my mouth wide.

Everything slowed down suddenly. My penetrating hand plunged deep and held still, fingers dancing within me. Pressing down harder against my clit, I stopped moving. I was trembling. My muscles felt like they were stretching even tighter. I stopped breathing. In my mind, the only thing still moving was my father's hand as he stroked his penis. He was hovering over me with it, pointing it at my chest. Yes, daddy. Get off for me. I don't even know where the thought came from. I had never asked a boy to do that before. It felt naughty and arousing all at once.

Pleasure exploded and I screamed. I couldn't help it. Sucking in a breath, I stifled the sound as fast as I could. But my body was shaking violently as my orgasm surged through me. It was concentrated in my crotch at first, but quickly swept outward and upward. I felt like ripples of goosebumps were rolling up my body, onto my chest. My nipples were ultra-sensitive suddenly. I gasped as my body convulsed again, twisting to the side. My clit felt like it was vibrating. So much that I couldn't help but start rolling my finger against it again. That made me groan with pleasure.

Tears were streaming down my face uncontrollably and, between gasps of pleasure I let out irregular sobs as well. I was having an orgasm and crying at the same time. It was a jarring war of emotions within me. Rejection and loss and longing mixed with a very profound, explosive orgasm. It was a sensation I had never experienced. If I hadn't been so thoroughly engrossed in the throes of ecstasy, I knew I would have completely succumbed to my despair. Instead, the two seemed to keep me in balance as my body teetered on the edge.

Finally, my muscles gave out and I collapsed onto my bed. My feet slid down and I felt my back and butt land on my mattress, sinking into it. My body continued to convulse and shake in the aftermath of my orgasm. Unfortunately, as the pleasure slowly died down, my heaving sobs increased in strength. Minutes passed and the tears continued to stream down my face. I knew in that moment that I was experiencing a temporary feeling if insanity. Depression should never be mixed with such a powerful orgasm. It was a bittersweet feeling.

For over half an hour, my body continued to shudder every so often. I pulled my hands from my crotch and placed them on my stomach. My fingers were sticky and wet, but I didn't care. My vagina and body felt warm and at peace, but my mind was a total mess. It was frustrating. I had to find a way to get my dad out of my head. For my own sanity.

If only he would like me even just a little bit.

Sobbing, I fell asleep.

[Explosion.]

The day after thinking about my father while I masturbated was extremely emotional for me. It started with a brief, heated exchange between the two of us over something stupid that, for the life of me, I can't even remember what it was we were arguing about. But that was three weeks ago. And we've barely spoken since. Thank god I have my sisters around or I would probably have killed myself already. They were the only thing keeping me from flying off the handle.

My dad kept making these offhanded jabs at me, giving me the impression that he clearly didn't approve of me or my life choices. Things like, "When are you going to get serious about choosing a career?" I was only one year into college, for crying out loud! Or he attacked the way I dressed. That pissed me off more than the career comment. He seemed to do that a lot. Apparently I didn't own any outfits that he approved of. Which ultimately culminated one night after a high school friend (Katie) texted me asking if I wanted to go to a club with her.

I hadn't talked to Katie in three years. And hell yeah I wanted to go out! Anything to escape the constant nagging of my dad. I spent the next two hours getting ready. I picked my outfit very carefully. I wanted to look sexy. What nineteen-year-old single girl wouldn't? In the end, I decided on a pair of white, low-cut shorts that left little half-moons of butt cheek on display. And a pink almost-tube top that looked more like a bikini than a tube top. There was a ring connecting the two cups around my boobs, so you could see a fair amount of skin. Like I said, I wanted to dress as sexy as I could. And my hair, I decided to go with two braids that hung down either side of my face.

The last thing I worked on was my makeup. For that, I wore a creamy foundation that made my face look pale and hid every sign of a wrinkle around my eyes, even when I smiled. I applied a subtle blush on my cheeks and then spent the rest of my time on my eyes. There was a Korean girl who posted makeup tutorials on TikTok. I used one of her methods to outline my eyes with a rosy pink and then added a darker eyeliner that I extended slightly to the outside of my eyes. Finally, I added some lavender mascara that made my lashes look fuller. I skipped the lipstick, mainly because I hate how it feels on my lips.

Taking stock of myself in the mirror one last time, I smiled in approval. I was ready. Checking the time, I saw that it was almost time to go. I pulled up the Uber app on my phone and checked how long it would take. The nearest driver was fifteen minutes away. That would get me to the club a little early, but I didn't care. I was ready to leave.

Heading upstairs, I was feeling extremely feminine and confident. I was excited to see my friend, but mainly I was excited to get out in public with strangers and flaunt myself a little. It wasn't like I was trying to get laid or anything, but it felt good to be fawned over. As I walked into the living room, I had a huge grin on my face. Ally was the first to spot me and her eyes opened wide when she took me in. Then she started giggling and nudged her older sister. When Monica glanced at me, her jaw dropped.