Chapter 1 –Damn, this is my life now.

Ava's Pov

That afternoon, I opened my eyes and thought I was dead.

The ceiling about me was white and bright and the light stung my eyes. I opened my mouth and closed it, feeling too stiff to move.

“Oh! Good God!” One of the nurses who was in the room yelled and dropped her clipboard and ran out shouting for the doctor.

I croaked out the only thing that came to my mind. “Where’s my husband?”

The nurse returned with a doctor and they were both grinning from ear to ear.

“You’re awake,” the doctor said, checking my eyes with a small flashlight. “How do you feel?”

“I ask you…” my throat was awfully dry, “—where is Ethan? Where's my husband?”

The nurse exchanged a glance with the doctor before saying softly, “He came by sometimes. He's not around now, but you’ll see him soon.”

“Sometimes? How long have I been lying here?”

The doctor cleared his throat. “Five years.”

 I blinked, sure I had heard wrong. “Five… what?”

“Five years, Ava. You’ve been in a coma since the accident.”

I pressed my trembling hands to my face as I vividly remembered the car accident, and how my husband's face had been the last thing on my mind before I passed out.

Five years. I said aloud, wondering how that was possible. It felt like minutes to me.

“Does he know I’m awake?” I asked, holding the blanket like it could hold me together.

“We’ll contact him,” the nurse promised. “But for now, we’ll need someone to sign your discharge papers. You can’t stay here anymore. Your body needs rehabilitation, but not in the hospital.”

My heart lifted a little. I was finally going home. To him.

****

By the time evening came, I was dressed in loose clothes the hospital provided, but my hair was a mess and I kept imagining Ethan rushing in, holding me, crying against my neck and telling me how he'd never stopped loving and missing me.

But I was in for a surprise. 

Ethan finally arrived, and when the door opened, I wiped the goofy smile that I'd been wearing. What. The. Fuck?

Ethan walked in, all 6feet of him. He was spotting a day old stubble and his dark hair was cropped short. But that wasn't what shocked me.

He stopped short, his lips parting like he didn’t know what to say. “You’re… awake,” he stammered.

I reached out a hand, my throat tight as I looked from him to the child with him. “Ethan?”

Before he could come closer, another voice cut in. “Darling, should I…?”

I was sure I was going to faint. My sister, Clara stepped inside, dressed in a sleek knee-length dress and red heels. She reached for the hand of the little boy with curly hair and wide brown eyes.

The boy clung to her leg shyly before running toward Ethan. “Daddy!” he shouted, lifting his arms. Ethan picked the boy up and I felt like throwing up.

I looked from Ethan to Clara, waiting for someone to explain, waiting for Ethan to laugh and say this was a misunderstanding.

“Ava, darling….it's so good to see you. We had stopped hoping you'd ever wake up.” Clara commented, with a sly smile.

I stared at the boy's small hands around Ethan's neck, and turned back to my sister. “Who…who is that?”

Ethan shifted uncomfortably, and he looked away from me. He looked at Clara, then back at me. “This is… our son. His name is Matthew.”

I almost fell off the bed. “Your….your son?” My hands were begining to shake, and I was really trying not to pass out. Who knew when I'd wake up again?

Clara stepped forward, placing her hand on Ethan’s arm. “Things happened, Ava. It's been five good years. You were gone, and Ethan was broken, and I had to…”

“Stop.” I cut her off, refusing believe what she'd just said. “Are you telling me… you’re together?”

Ethan cleared his throat, while Clara beamed at me. Of all of us, she seemed to be enjoying herself. Clara reached out as if to touch my hand, but it was only so I could see my wedding ring, on her finger. “I know this is hard to understand, but it wasn't supposed to happen this way. It wasn't planned, we just fell in love.”

I scoffed. “You…you married my husband.” I was shaking so badly now that the bed was starting to rattle. 

“Ava—” Ethan stepped closer, holding Matthew on one hip. “I didn't know what else to do. Trust me I tried to fight what Clara and I had.”

“She was my sister, and you gave her my ring!” I spat. My weak voice broke off mid sentence like a bad public address system.

Clara’s eyes watered, but there was no regret in them. Only pity. The kind that made me want to scream. “Please don’t hate us. You’ve just woken up. You need peace, not more pain.”

“Peace?” I laughed bitterly, though my throat hurt. “You took my husband, and you want me to be calm about it?”

Clara held her hands out as if I was a child about to throw a tantrum. “Ava, please. You don’t understand—”

Ethan set Matthew down. The boy wandered to the corner, distracted by a toy the nurse had left on the counter, and Ethan rubbed the back of his neck like a man cornered. “It wasn’t that simple.”

“It looks very simple,” I snapped, I couldn't breathe. “You and her are together, and you have a son, while I was here fighting for my damn life.” 

Ethan’s eyes darted to the boy and back to me, and his words stumbled out. “Clara asked for your ring, and since it was a family heriloom, it seemed wrong to get another one.”

If I wasn't hooked to these machines, I'd be jumping at him and clawing his face. How could he? After three years of marriage?

Clara touched his arm, and I wanted to claw her hand away. “Ava, please stop shouting. It isn’t good for you. The doctor said you shouldn’t strain yourself.”

Her voice was so sweet it was almost rehearsed, and I could see through it. I’d lived with Clara my whole life, and I knew that tilt of her head, that soft smile, it wasn’t kindness. She'd done this purposely.

“Why?” I breathed out, staring at my sister. I pressed my shaking hands to my chest and tried not to cry. 

Clara bent down in front of me, her perfume filling the air.  “Ava, I never wanted this, but life went on. I stayed with Ethan because he was broken without you. He needed someone. And I… I love him.”

I flinched back, shaking my head. “You love him?” I tried to wag my finger in her face, but I was too weak to. “He was my husbandClara...mine, not yours.”

Her eyes softened in mock sympathy. “And now he’s mine.”

The words hit me harder than the accident that put me in that bed, and I let out a strangled, “oh”

Ethan dragged a hand through his hair, restless. “Clara, don’t…”

“No,” I said, holding up a shaky hand. “Let her talk. She’s already taken everything, might as well let her enjoy it.”

Clara stood, smoothing down her dress. “I’m not trying to hurt you. But Matthew needs stability, Ethan needs his father, and we can’t just undo that simply because you chose to wake up now.”

“Shut up!” My head snapped toward the boy. I didn't know if I was shaking from rage or not. “Matthew.” The name felt sour on my tongue. “He’s five?”

Clara nodded proudly, as if she’d won a prize. “Yes.”

Five years. The same time I’d been gone. “Jesus Ethan! You had him… while I was still alive, lying here.”

Ethan stepped forward. “Ava, please, you were not alive. The doctors said—”

“I don't give a fuck about what the doctor said!” I shouted, though tears blurred my sight. “Don’t you realize you betrayed me before anyone even knew if I’d wake up? Why couldn't you wait for me?”

Ethan looked at the boy, then at me, with guilt written all over his face, but he didn't even try to comfort me. He didn't even try to touch me.

“Complicated?” My laugh was hysterical. “You’re holding a child that’s not mine, barely even a year after I've gone into a coma, and now you're standing beside my sister, and you dare say complicated?”

Oh God...